Chuck Norris once ordered a steak in a restaurant.
The steak did what it was told.
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Teacher: "If you bought 8 hotdogs,9 cheese burgers and 7 fillet o fishes and you ate 8 hotdogs 9 cheese burger and 7 fillet o fish what do you have at the end?"
Little Johnny: "A bad blatter issue."
Cannibal Son: Mom, I don't like my brother anymore.
Cannibal Mother: You shut up and eat!
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Why did the gray whale go on a diet?
Because he wasn't a Fin whale.
What do sick cannibals have for breakfast?
Vitamin bills!
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Q: Where do pirates buy their parrot food?
A: Petsmarrrrrrrrt!
A man walked into a bar and ordered martini after martini, each time removing the olives and placing them in a jar.
When the jar was filled with olives and all the drinks consumed, the guy started to leave.
"Excuse me", said a customer, who was puzzled over what the guy had done.
"What was that all about?"
"Nothing", said the guy, "My wife just sent me out for a jar of olives."
Q: What do you call an empty jar of Cheez Whiz?
A: Cheez Whuz.
Yo' Mama is so stupid, she tried to put the leftover orange juice back in the rind.
Chuck Norris invented hot sauce.
To put on his peppers.
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