The best food jokes

Over breakfast one morning, a woman said to her husband, "I bet you don't know what day this is." "Of course I do," he irritatingly answered, going out the door to the office. At 11 AM, the doorbell rang, and when the woman opened the door, she was handed a bouquet of red roses. At 2 PM, a two pound box of her favorite chocolates arrived. Later, a boutique delivered a designer dress. The woman couldn't wait for her husband to come home. "First the flowers, then the chocolates, and then the dress!" she exclaimed. "I've never had a more wonderful ‘Independence day' in all my life!"
Vote: has 50.64 % from 34 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: food, husband, life, marriage, time
Chuck Norris once ate four 30lb bowling balls without chewing.
Vote: has 50.64 % from 34 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food, sport
Yo mama is so skinny that she eats a nut and thoughts that she’s pregnant...
Vote: has 50.45 % from 9 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: food, Yo mama
Q: What's the difference between pea soup and roast beef? A: Anyone can roast beef.
Vote: has 50.45 % from 9 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: disgusting, food
Q: What does an Irishman get after eating Italian food? A: Gaelic breath.
Vote: has 50.45 % from 9 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: food, life
Chuck Norris was hungry so he went to eat a hotdog. When he saw it giggled and said: "What a bad luck! Look what a part of a dog I've to eat!"
Vote: has 50.35 % from 68 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, Chuck Norris, dog, food, morbid
Your legs are like an Oreo Cookie - I wanna split them and eat all the good stuff in the middle.
Vote: has 50.29 % from 29 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, flirt, food, sex
We're like hot chocolate and marshmallows... You're hot and I wanna be on top of you.
Vote: has 50.29 % from 43 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: chocolate, dirty, flirt, food, sex
My wife left for her Father's home for vacation yesterday, when I was at my office. When I reached home, I found this note stick on the television. I am going to My Mom's Place for 6-7 days with kids and these are the instructions and warnings for you.... - No need to call your friends and cousins. Last time I got 4 large pizza bills beneath the sofa... 2 - Don't forget mobile on the soap holder in the bathroom like last time... Why would anyone need a mobile in the bathroom? 3 - Keep your spe cs in the box.. Last time around it was found in the refrigerator. 4 - Salary already paid to maid. No need to be extra generous. 5 - Don't disturb neighbors early in the morning asking if they have got newspaper or not? Our newspaper vendor is different from theirs... And our laundry person and milkman are also different. 6 - Your Underwear are on left side of wardrobe and on right side are kids'... Like last time, don't say I was uncomfortable at work.... 7 - All reports have been checked and you are alright. No need to go to that young lady doctor again and again. 8 - My sister and Bhabhi's birthdays have gone last month which you have already attended. No need to go to them at midnight and wish belated happy birthday.. 9 - Have cut off WiFi for 10 days. So sleep early.... 10 - Stop smiling and being happy... as Mrs. Khanna, Mrs. Avasthi, Mrs. Kulkarni, Mrs. Trivedi, Mrs. Ansari, Mrs. Rastogi, Mrs. Chatteerjee... They all w ill be out of station in this period.... 11. Do not knock on the doors of that KALMUHI Priya, next door, on pretext of asking Sugar milk coffee powder or so one. I stocked all these in kitchen cabinet. rnrnAnd last but not the least. 12 - Don't try to be oversmart.. rnI may be back any moment without informing you. Happy vacation
Vote: has 49.93 % from 24 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: food, holiday, stupid, travel, wife
Girl, do you need to get your protein macros up? Because I'd gladly put my meat inside you.
Vote: has 49.79 % from 31 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, fitness, flirt, food, sex


<<<57585960
More jokes →
Page 57 of 69.