Why did the gray whale go on a diet?
Because he wasn't a Fin whale.
What do sick cannibals have for breakfast?
Vitamin bills!
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Q: What is the worst thing about a vegetable?
A: Spitting them back up in a wheelchair.
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Chuck Norris was once so famished, he ate Turkey.
The country there now is only an impostor.
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If it looks like chicken tastes like chicken and smells like chicken and Chuck Norris says it's beef then it's beef.
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A man walked into a bar and ordered martini after martini, each time removing the olives and placing them in a jar.
When the jar was filled with olives and all the drinks consumed, the guy started to leave.
"Excuse me", said a customer, who was puzzled over what the guy had done.
"What was that all about?"
"Nothing", said the guy, "My wife just sent me out for a jar of olives."
Q: What do you call an empty jar of Cheez Whiz?
A: Cheez Whuz.
Yo' Mama is so stupid, she tried to put the leftover orange juice back in the rind.
Chuck Norris invented hot sauce.
To put on his peppers.
Vote:
What’s a mouse’s favorite record?
Please cheese me!