The best food jokes

Three rabbits escape from a testing lab and find an entire field full of carrots. They eat themselves into a stupor and sleep throughout the night. The next morning, they find an entire field full of female rabbits with no males in sight. They screw themselves into a stupor and sleep throughout the night. The next morning, the rabbits get to talking. "I'm gonna go back to that field of carrots," says one. "I'm gonna go back to those cute little rabbits," says the second. "I'm going back to the lab," says the third. "I'm dying for a cigarette."
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has 51.00 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, food
A blonde walks in the ice cream parlor and orders a chocolate ice cream cone. The clerk tells her that he has no chocolate ice cream, only vanilla and strawberry. The blonde then orders a pint of chocolate ice cream. The clerk once again tells her he has no chocolate ice cream, just vanilla and strawberry. The blonde then orders a quart of chocolate ice cream. The clerk once again tells her he has no chocolate ice cream, only vanilla and strawberry. The blonde then orders a half gallon of chocolate ice cream. The clerk then asks her how she spells van as in vanilla. She says, V-A-N. He then asks her how she spells straw as in strawberry. She says, S-T-R-A-W He then asks her how she spells fuck as in chocolate. After a while she says there is no fuck in chocolate. THATS WHAT I'VE BEEN TRYING TO TELL YOU
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has 50.89 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: blonde, customer service, food
Two cannibals were having lunch. "Your wife makes a great soup," said one to the other. "Yes!" agreed the first. "But I'm going to miss her terribly."
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has 50.89 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: black humor, food, wife
A blonde walks into a library and asks the librarian, "Can I have a burger and fries?" She replies, "Sorry, this is a library." The blonde whispers, "Oh, sorry. May I have a burger and fries?"
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has 50.70 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: blonde, food
Inside a Best Buy store. Customer: "Can you help me? I'm looking for a shredder." Coworker: "We have all types of shredders. What will you be shredding primarily?" Customer: "Collard greens."
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has 50.70 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: customer service, food
Standing in line at a restaurant, I noticed that the few available tables left had not been cleaned off. I mentioned this to the cashier, who told the manager. A minute later, an annoyed-looking teen emerged from the back with a spray bottle and paper towels in hand. "All right," she bellowed clear across the crowded dining room, "which one of you people wanted a clean table?"
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has 50.70 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: food, management, stupid
Over breakfast one morning, a woman said to her husband, "I bet you don't know what day this is." "Of course I do," he irritatingly answered, going out the door to the office. At 11 AM, the doorbell rang, and when the woman opened the door, she was handed a bouquet of red roses. At 2 PM, a two pound box of her favorite chocolates arrived. Later, a boutique delivered a designer dress. The woman couldn't wait for her husband to come home. "First the flowers, then the chocolates, and then the dress!" she exclaimed. "I've never had a more wonderful ‘Independence day' in all my life!"
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has 50.64 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: food, husband, life, marriage, time
Yo mama is so skinny that she eats a nut and thoughts that she’s pregnant...
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has 50.45 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: food, Yo mama
Yo momma’s so stupid, when I told her it was chilly outside she ran and got a bowl.
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has 50.45 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: food, stupid, weather, Yo mama
Q: What's the difference between pea soup and roast beef? A: Anyone can roast beef.
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has 50.45 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, food
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