The best food jokes

Chuck Norris once ate four 30lb bowling balls without chewing.
Vote: has 49.36 % from 33 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food, sport
A blonde walks in the ice cream parlor and orders a chocolate ice cream cone. The clerk tells her that he has no chocolate ice cream, only vanilla and strawberry. The blonde then orders a pint of chocolate ice cream. The clerk once again tells her he has no chocolate ice cream, just vanilla and strawberry. The blonde then orders a quart of chocolate ice cream. The clerk once again tells her he has no chocolate ice cream, only vanilla and strawberry. The blonde then orders a half gallon of chocolate ice cream. The clerk then asks her how she spells van as in vanilla. She says, V-A-N. He then asks her how she spells straw as in strawberry. She says, S-T-R-A-W He then asks her how she spells fuck as in chocolate. After a while she says there is no fuck in chocolate. THATS WHAT I'VE BEEN TRYING TO TELL YOU
Vote: has 49.30 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, customer service, food
What do you call an open can of tuna in a lesbians apartment? Potpourri.
Vote: has 49.00 % from 35 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, lesbian, women
How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? Zero.
Vote: has 48.79 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, racist
Two missionaries in Africa were apprehended by a tribe of very hostile cannibals who put them in a large pot of water, built a huge fire under it, and left them there. A few minutes later, one of the missionaries started to laugh uncontrollably. The other missionary couldn't believe it! He said, "What's wrong with you? We're being boiled alive! They're gonna eat us! What could possibly be funny at a time like this?" The other missionary replied, "I just peed in the soup!"
Vote: has 48.79 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, food
Q: What's the difference between boogers and broccoli? A: Kids don't eat broccoli.
Vote: has 48.78 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, food
Little Johnny: „Mom, can I get a dog at Christmas, please?"  Mother: „No, you'll be getting turkey, like every year!"
Vote: has 48.77 % from 70 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, Christmas, dog, food, little Johnny
How do you know that carrots are good for your eyesight? Have YOU ever seen a rabbit with glasses?
Vote: has 48.65 % from 59 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, food
Wanna go on an 'ate' with me? I'll give you the 'D' later.
Vote: has 48.59 % from 48 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dating, dirty, flirt, food, sex
Girl, do you need to get your protein macros up? Because I'd gladly put my meat inside you.
Vote: has 48.37 % from 30 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, fitness, flirt, food, sex