The best food jokes

The cake is a lie, Chuck Norris is THE TRUTH.
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has 46.54 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
A blonde, a brunet and a red head were running from the cops when they came upon three empty sacks laying in front of a closed store. "Let's hide in these and the cops won't find us!" said the red head, and they each dove into the sacks. The brunet hid in one that said CAT. The red head hid in one that said DOG, and the blonde hid in one that said POTATOS. When the cops came by, they saw the bags and said: "Maybe they're in these sacks. Kick one of them." to the other. The other cop kicked the bag the brunet was in that said CAT and she said: "Meow!". So the cop kicked the second bag with the red head that said DOG. She said once kicked: "Woof!". So the cop moved on to the final sack that said POTATOS and kicked it. The blonde cried out: "Potatos!"
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has 46.20 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: blonde, cop, food, ginger
If it were true that you are what you eat. Then you are about to be a roundhouse kick.
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has 46.20 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
Once upon a time, my wife and I were in the local restaurant. We have talked to each other, but after a while, I have become quiet and then I started to talk, I have said: "you know, I love you so much, I will never leave you, never, ever, every single day I think only of you, we will be always together." My wife has asked me: "Oh, darling, these words were addressed to me?" I have said only: "Oh, no, sorry, darling, this time I am talking to this bottle of beer."
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has 46.20 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: beer, communication, food, love, marriage
It's call a Chuck Steak because Chuck just kicked that cow's butt.
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has 45.82 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, food
What is a cannibal's favorite food? Baked Beings.
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has 45.82 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: black humor, food
"Why are you studying your Easter candy?" "I'm trying to decide which came first-the chocolate chicken or the chocolate egg!"
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has 45.82 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: easter, food, science
Imagine, there are on the bus only 5 persons: A busman, an old woman, two younger women and one man. The old woman comes to the busman and tells him: "Dear busman, would you like to eat a few hazelnuts?" The busman says: "Yes, why not?" He takes the hazelnuts from her hand and eats them. This repeats even two times, but when the old woman offers other hazelnuts to the busman for the fourth time, the busman asks this old woman: "Madame, where do you take all these hazelnuts from? It is a real amount and I am already full." The old woman only says: "You know, dear busman, I have bought the chocolate with hazelnuts, the hazelnuts are very hard for my dental plate, so I have sucked them all out, brought it to you and you have already eaten them all."
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has 45.68 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: age, chocolate, dentist, disgusting, food
William: May I have some money for the man crying outside ? Mum: What crying man ? William: The one that's crying, 'Ice cream! Ice Cream !'
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has 45.58 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: food, money
Men are like.....Popcorn. They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
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has 45.58 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: food, men
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