A husband and wife are eating soup. The wife spills soup all over her and says: "Oh no, I look like a pig" "Yes and you also have soup all over you!"
Chuck Norris can make a pound cake with only an ounce.
My friend's dad went to Hungary. I asked her, "Was your dad hungry in Hungary?"
What does an annoying pepper do? It get's jalapeño face
Q: What happens when you feed gun powder to a chicken? A: Egg-splosion
Chuck Norris doesn't eat honey. He chews bees...
What do you call a rabbit who works in a bakery? A yeaster bunny.
Q: How can you tell that a blonde been baking chocolate chip cookies? A: There are M&M shells all over the floor.
If it looks like chicken tastes like chicken and smells like chicken and Chuck Norris says it's beef then it's beef.
Santa leaves out cookies for Chuck Norris.