The best food jokes

Q: What do you get when you cross a rooster with a jar of peanut butter? A: A cock that sticks to the roof of your mouth.
Vote:
has 45.58 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
Q: How is spinach like anal sex? A: Chances are if you're forced to have it as a child you are probably going to hate it as an adult.
Vote:
has 45.52 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: age, black humor, food, kids, sex
Q: What do the mosquito parents say to their small children, when they see people lying on the sandy beach during a hot summer day more than 15 minutes? A: "Kids, prepare the cutlery and your chin-straps. Our lunch is already heated up and ready for the consumption!"
Vote:
has 45.52 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, kids, time, weather
A farmer was driving along the road with a load of fertilizer. A little boy, playing in front of his house, saw him and called, "What've you got in your truck?" "Fertilizer," the farmer replied. "What are you going to do with it?" asked the little boy. "Put it on strawberries," answered the farmer. "You ought to live here," the little boy advised him. "We put sugar and cream on ours."
Vote:
has 45.33 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: dirty, food
The housewife answered a knock on the door and found a total stranger standing on the doorstep. "Excuse me for disturbing you, ma'am," he said politely, "but I pass your house every morning on my way to work, and I've noticed that every day you appear to be hitting your son on the head with a loaf of bread." "That's right." "Every day you hit him on the head with a loaf of bread, and yet this morning you were beating him with a chocolate cake." "Well, today is his birthday."
Vote:
has 45.25 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: birthday, chocolate, food, kids, mean
Why should you only put 239 beans in bean soup? Cuz one more will make it "too farty!"
Vote:
has 45.10 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, fart, food
What do you call a chocolate Easter bunny that was out in the sun too long? A runny bunny.
Vote:
has 45.10 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: animal, chocolate, disgusting, easter, food
My husband retired, and for the first time in over 40 years I had to think about preparing midday meals. Tired of it after several months, I said, “I married you for better or worse, but not for lunch.” “Fair enough. From now on I’ll make my own,” he replied. A few weeks later he had to go downtown on business and invited me to join him after wards. “We could have lunch at that Chinese place we both like,” he suggested. I happily agreed. At the restaurant the next day we were seated, and the waiter came to take our order. My husband looked up, a twinkle in his eyes and said, “Separate checks, please…”
Vote:
has 44.95 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: business, food, husband, old people
Q: What do spaghetti and blondes have in common? A: They both wiggle when you eat them!
Vote:
has 44.92 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: blonde, food
Did you hear about the man who ate nothing but oats every day? He fell in love with the Grand National winner!
Vote:
has 44.92 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, love
<<<59606162
More jokes →
Page 59 of 72.