The best food jokes

A retiree and his aged wife started having problems in remembering, so they decided to go to their doctor to get checked out to make sure nothing was wrong with them. When they arrived at the doctor's, they explained to the doctor about the problems they were having with their memory. After checking the couple out, the doctor tells them that they were physically okay but might want to start writing things down and make notes to help them remember things. The couple thanked the doctor and left. Later that night while watching TV, the wife got up from her chair and her retired husband asks, "Where are you going?" She replies, "To the kitchen." he asks "Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?" She replies, "Sure." he then asks him, "Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?" She says, "No, I can remember that." he then says, "Well, I also would like some strawberries on top. You had better write that down cause I know you'll forget that." She says, "I can remember that, you want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries." he replies, "Well, I also would like whip cream on top. I know you will forget that so you better write it down." With irritation in her voice, she says, "I don't need to write that down, I can remember that." She then fumes into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes she returns from the kitchen and hands him a plate of bacon and eggs. He stares at the plate for a moment and says, "You forgot my toast."
Vote: has 48.26 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, memory, old people, technology, wife
What do you get if you cross a cow, a french fry, and a sofa? A cowch potato.
Vote: has 48.26 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, food
Teacher: "If you bought 8 hotdogs,9 cheese burgers and 7 fillet o fishes and you ate 8 hotdogs 9 cheese burger and 7 fillet o fish what do you have at the end?" Little Johnny: "A bad blatter issue."
Vote: has 48.13 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: fish, food, health, little Johnny, math
Q: What do you call an empty jar of Cheez Whiz? A: Cheez Whuz.
Vote: has 48.02 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, life
Yo Mama is like a refrigerator. Meat goes in and out all day.
Vote: has 48.02 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, insulting, Yo mama
Yo mama's so technologically unsavvy, she leaves out pieces of cheese next to the computer!
Vote: has 48.02 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: computer, food, technology, Yo mama
A husband and wife are eating soup. The wife spills soup all over her and says: "Oh no, I look like a pig" "Yes and you also have soup all over you!"
Vote: has 48.02 % from 32 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, food, husband, marriage, wife
A cat died and went to heaven. St. Peter said to the cat, "Is there anything I can do to make your stay here better?" The cat said, "I've been sleeping on a cold floor and I'd love a warm pillow to sleep on. St. Peter gave a pillow to the cat, and the cat headed off to bed. Later, some mice came to St. Peter. They wanted roller skates to get around faster so St. Peter gave them their skates and the mice went off. The next evening St. Peter checks in on the cat. "How was your night last night?" The cat said "That pillow you gave me is really nice, but what I like the most about heaven is the Meals on Wheels."
Vote: has 47.46 % from 36 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, cat, food, heaven
What do sick cannibals have for breakfast? Vitamin bills!
Vote: has 47.37 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, food
Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin are having dinner. Trump orders a steak, and Putin orders the roast duck. The waiter, however, gets their plates mixed up. Trump does not wait, but rather just starts digging in. "Wow," Putin says. "Your hands make my duck look bigger."
Vote: has 47.37 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: communication, duck, food, political