The best food jokes

A blonde, a brunet and a red head were running from the cops when they came upon three empty sacks laying in front of a closed store. "Let's hide in these and the cops won't find us!" said the red head, and they each dove into the sacks. The brunet hid in one that said CAT. The red head hid in one that said DOG, and the blonde hid in one that said POTATOS. When the cops came by, they saw the bags and said: "Maybe they're in these sacks. Kick one of them." to the other. The other cop kicked the bag the brunet was in that said CAT and she said: "Meow!". So the cop kicked the second bag with the red head that said DOG. She said once kicked: "Woof!". So the cop moved on to the final sack that said POTATOS and kicked it. The blonde cried out: "Potatos!"
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has 49.61 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: blonde, cop, food, ginger
Q: Whats worse then finding half a worm in your apple? A: The Holocaust.
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has 49.61 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal, black humor, food
This woman walks into a tattoo parlor and asks for a tattoo of a christmas tree on her right inner thigh and a cocktail drink on her left inner thigh. The tatoo artist say thats an unusual request. "Why do you want two tattoos there?" So she says "Because my husband needs to eat between christmas and new years."
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has 49.61 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, food, husband, new year, women
A blonde calls her husband at work one day and asks him, "Can you help me when you get home?" "Sure," he replies. "What's the problem?" "Well, I started a really hard puzzle and I can't even find the edge pieces." "Look on the box," he said. "There's always a picture of what the puzzle is." "It's a big rooster," she said. The husband arrives home and tells his blonde wife, "Okay, put the corn flakes back in the box."
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has 49.51 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: blonde, food, husband, wife
Yo' Mama is so stupid, she thought a ribbed condom was soul food.
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has 49.51 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: food, insulting, stupid, Yo mama
Teacher: "Name five things that contain milk." Pupil: "Butter, cheese, ice cream … and two cows."
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has 49.51 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, teacher
What do you call a rabbit who works in a bakery? A yeaster bunny.
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has 49.51 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal, easter, food, work
A husband and wife are eating soup. The wife spills soup all over her and says: "Oh no, I look like a pig" "Yes and you also have soup all over you!"
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has 49.36 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, husband, marriage, wife
Two missionaries in Africa were apprehended by a tribe of very hostile cannibals who put them in a large pot of water, built a huge fire under it, and left them there. A few minutes later, one of the missionaries started to laugh uncontrollably. The other missionary couldn't believe it! He said, "What's wrong with you? We're being boiled alive! They're gonna eat us! What could possibly be funny at a time like this?" The other missionary replied, "I just peed in the soup!"
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has 48.79 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, food
My dental hygienist is cute. Every time I visit, I eat a whole package of Oreo cookies while waiting in the lobby. Sometimes she has to cancel the rest of the afternoon's appointments.
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has 48.79 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: dentist, food, health
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