The best food jokes

A blonde walks in the ice cream parlor and orders a chocolate ice cream cone. The clerk tells her that he has no chocolate ice cream, only vanilla and strawberry. The blonde then orders a pint of chocolate ice cream. The clerk once again tells her he has no chocolate ice cream, just vanilla and strawberry. The blonde then orders a quart of chocolate ice cream. The clerk once again tells her he has no chocolate ice cream, only vanilla and strawberry. The blonde then orders a half gallon of chocolate ice cream. The clerk then asks her how she spells van as in vanilla. She says, V-A-N. He then asks her how she spells straw as in strawberry. She says, S-T-R-A-W He then asks her how she spells fuck as in chocolate. After a while she says there is no fuck in chocolate. THATS WHAT I'VE BEEN TRYING TO TELL YOU
Vote: has 49.30 % from 26 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: blonde, customer service, food
Two missionaries in Africa were apprehended by a tribe of very hostile cannibals who put them in a large pot of water, built a huge fire under it, and left them there. A few minutes later, one of the missionaries started to laugh uncontrollably. The other missionary couldn't believe it! He said, "What's wrong with you? We're being boiled alive! They're gonna eat us! What could possibly be funny at a time like this?" The other missionary replied, "I just peed in the soup!"
Vote: has 48.79 % from 28 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: disgusting, food
Teacher: "If you bought 8 hotdogs,9 cheese burgers and 7 fillet o fishes and you ate 8 hotdogs 9 cheese burger and 7 fillet o fish what do you have at the end?" Little Johnny: "A bad blatter issue."
Vote: has 48.79 % from 28 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: fish, food, health, little Johnny, math
Your legs are like an Oreo Cookie - I wanna split them and eat all the good stuff in the middle.
Vote: has 48.79 % from 28 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, flirt, food, sex
A blonde walks into a library and asks the librarian, "Can I have a burger and fries?" She replies, "Sorry, this is a library." The blonde whispers, "Oh, sorry. May I have a burger and fries?"
Vote: has 48.78 % from 21 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: blonde, food
If Chuck Norris were an Adam's Apple, he'd be in your throat right now.
Vote: has 48.78 % from 21 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
If Chuck Norris was here in the Philippines, there would be no hostage crisis. He eats hostage-takers for breakfast!
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
Q: How is spinach like anal sex? A: Chances are if you're forced to have it as a child you are probably going to hate it as an adult.
Vote: has 48.78 % from 21 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: age, black humor, food, kids, sex
Whats the difference between a pizza and a jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.
Vote: has 48.75 % from 102 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: food, jewish, racist
How do you know that carrots are good for your eyesight? Have YOU ever seen a rabbit with glasses?
Vote: has 48.65 % from 59 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, food


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