Before sliced bread, people used to say "That's the greatest thing since Chuck Norris".
Imagine, there are on the bus only 5 persons: A busman, an old woman, two younger women and one man. The old woman comes to the busman and tells him: "Dear busman, would you like to eat a few hazelnuts?" The busman says: "Yes, why not?" He takes the hazelnuts from her hand and eats them. This repeats even two times, but when the old woman offers other hazelnuts to the busman for the fourth time, the busman asks this old woman: "Madame, where do you take all these hazelnuts from? It is a real amount and I am already full." The old woman only says: "You know, dear busman, I have bought the chocolate with hazelnuts, the hazelnuts are very hard for my dental plate, so I have sucked them all out, brought it to you and you have already eaten them all."
What do you call a cow that doesn't give milk? A milk dud.
One day Adam and his parents were at the mall. Adams mum gave him a $5 note and sent him on his way. He got a bag of chips and a drink. He went outside and his mum and dad weren't there.
Yo mama is so skinny that she eats a nut and thoughts that she’s pregnant...
Yo' Mama is so flat, the last time she felt a breast was in a KFC bucket.
Customer: "Waiter, this soup tastes funny." Waiter: "Funny? But then why aren’t you laughing?"
A blonde calls a pizza place to have one ordered to her house. They ask her if she wants the pizza cut into 6 or 12 pieces and she says, "Cut it into 6, I could never eat 12 pieces."
Wanna go on an 'ate' with me? I'll give you the 'D' later.
Chuck Norris ate once at Hard Rock Cafe. It's now called Shakey's.