If Chuck Norris were an Adam's Apple, he'd be in your throat right now.
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If Chuck Norris was here in the Philippines, there would be no hostage crisis.
He eats hostage-takers for breakfast!
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How did the cannibal turn over a new leaf?
He became a vegetarian.
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Chuck Norris scares cows so bad, milk comes out their nose.
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Chuck Norris likes his steaks still mooing.
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How do you know that carrots are good for your eyesight?
Have YOU ever seen a rabbit with glasses?
"If we don't change the direction we're going, we're likely to end up at the wrong end."
"People who go out of their way to help others have great taste."
"An eye for an eye leaves everybody blind, but not hungry."
"Don't give up though the pace seems slow, you may succeed at another morgue."
"A journey of a hundred trillion cells begins with a single nibble."
"The only difference between a big shot and a little shot is that the big shot takes longer to chew."
"It's all right to have little butterflies in your stomach. In fact, I'd say a trip to the elementary school play is a wonderful idea."
"You don't know what your appetite can get away with until you try. Or are tried."
"If you carry your childhood with you, you should probably go the bathroom soon."
"Never keep up with Joneses. Have them over for dinner."
"Let your hook always be cast. In the pool where you least expect it, will be a very startled swimmer."
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What's the only thing white girls swallow?
Starbucks.
Yo mama so fat all the McDonald's food are gone.
My dental hygienist is cute.
Every time I visit, I eat a whole package of Oreo cookies while waiting in the lobby.
Sometimes she has to cancel the rest of the afternoon's appointments.