What does a cannibal eat with cheese?
Pickled organs.
Q: Where do blondes go to meet their relatives?
A: The vegetable garden.
"If we don't change the direction we're going, we're likely to end up at the wrong end."
"People who go out of their way to help others have great taste."
"An eye for an eye leaves everybody blind, but not hungry."
"Don't give up though the pace seems slow, you may succeed at another morgue."
"A journey of a hundred trillion cells begins with a single nibble."
"The only difference between a big shot and a little shot is that the big shot takes longer to chew."
"It's all right to have little butterflies in your stomach. In fact, I'd say a trip to the elementary school play is a wonderful idea."
"You don't know what your appetite can get away with until you try. Or are tried."
"If you carry your childhood with you, you should probably go the bathroom soon."
"Never keep up with Joneses. Have them over for dinner."
"Let your hook always be cast. In the pool where you least expect it, will be a very startled swimmer."
What's the only thing white girls swallow?
Starbucks.
How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman?
Zero.
I still don't understand why smoking weed makes you a criminal...
When I smoke it the only thing I a threat to is cake.
Your legs are like an Oreo Cookie - I wanna split them and eat all the good stuff in the middle.
At a restaurant, one of the customers notices that all of the waiters have two spoons in their vest pockets.
A waiter explains, "We see that the most frequently dropped silverware is spoons, therefore we keep them for replacement."
Then the customer notices a string hanging out of all the waiters' flies.
"The string is for us to go to the bathroom," explains the waiter.
"That way, when we pull it, it shoots and aims straight, and we don't need to use our hands."
The customer asks, "Well, that's how you get it out, but how do you get it back in?"
The waiter replies, "Well, that's another reason we carry the spoons."
What is a bear's favourite drink?
Koka-Koala.
Men are like a fine wine.
They all start out like grapes, and it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something we'd want to have dinner with.