The best food jokes

What do you call a cow that doesn't give milk? A milk dud.
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has 48.13 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
One day Adam and his parents were at the mall. Adams mum gave him a $5 note and sent him on his way. He got a bag of chips and a drink. He went outside and his mum and dad weren't there.
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has 48.13 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: family, food, kids, mean, money
Yo mama is so skinny that she eats a nut and thoughts that she’s pregnant...
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has 48.02 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: food, Yo mama
Yo' Mama is so flat, the last time she felt a breast was in a KFC bucket.
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has 48.02 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: food, insulting, Yo mama
A blonde calls a pizza place to have one ordered to her house. They ask her if she wants the pizza cut into 6 or 12 pieces and she says, "Cut it into 6, I could never eat 12 pieces."
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has 48.02 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: blonde, food
Wanna go on an 'ate' with me? I'll give you the 'D' later.
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has 47.94 % from 73 votes. More jokes about: dating, dirty, flirt, food, sex
A boy is about to go on his first date, and is nervous about what to talk about. He asks his father for advice. The father replies: "My son, there are three subjects that always work. These are food, family, and philosophy." The boy picks up his date and they go to a soda fountain. Ice cream sodas in front of them, they stare at each other for a long time, as the boy's nervousness builds. He remembers his father's advice, and chooses the first topic. He asks the girl: "Do you like spinach?" She says "No," and the silence returns. After a few more uncomfortable minutes, the boy thinks of his father's suggestion and turns to the second item on the list. He asks, "Do you have a brother?" Again, the girl says "No" and there is silence once again. The boy then plays his last card. He thinks of his father's advice and asks the girl the following question: "If you had a brother, would he like spinach?"
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has 47.79 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: dating, family, food, marriage
Chuck Norris ate once at Hard Rock Cafe. It's now called Shakey's.
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has 47.72 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris, food
Q: What do cannibal tax advisors do after their office Christmas Dinner? A: Toast their clients.
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has 47.62 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, customer service, food, tax
Q: What do the mosquito parents say to their small children, when they see people lying on the sandy beach during a hot summer day more than 15 minutes? A: "Kids, prepare the cutlery and your chin-straps. Our lunch is already heated up and ready for the consumption!"
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has 47.62 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, kids, time, weather
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