This woman walks into a tattoo parlor and asks for a tattoo of a christmas tree on her right inner thigh and a cocktail drink on her left inner thigh.
The tatoo artist say thats an unusual request. "Why do you want two tattoos there?"
So she says "Because my husband needs to eat between christmas and new years."
Q: Where do pirates buy their parrot food?
A: Petsmarrrrrrrrt!
Coffee doesn't wake up Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris wakes coffee up.
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Yo Mama is like a refrigerator.
Meat goes in and out all day.
Chuck Norris invented hot sauce.
To put on his peppers.
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Men are like.....Popcorn.
They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
What do you get when you cross a bunny with an orange?
A pip squeak.
When Chuck Norris goes to out to eat, he orders a whole chicken, but he only eats its soul.
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Q: Why dont blacks celibrate thanksgiving?
A: KFC isnt open on holidays.
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What do you get if you cross a cow, a french fry, and a sofa?
A cowch potato.