This woman walks into a tattoo parlor and asks for a tattoo of a christmas tree on her right inner thigh and a cocktail drink on her left inner thigh. The tatoo artist say thats an unusual request. "Why do you want two tattoos there?" So she says "Because my husband needs to eat between christmas and new years."
What do you call a chocolate Easter bunny that was out in the sun too long? A runny bunny.
When Chuck Norris eats dinner at a restaurant, the wait staff tips him.
Coffee doesn't wake up Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris wakes coffee up.
Q: What's the difference between a cook and a gay? A: The cook stirs today's lunch, whereas the gay stirs yesterday's dinner.
What do you call an open can of tuna in a lesbians apartment? Potpourri.
Yo' Mama is so fat, she tried to eat her chicken pox.
Yo Mama is like a refrigerator. Meat goes in and out all day.
What’s a mouse’s favorite record? Please cheese me!
What do you get when you cross a bunny with an orange? A pip squeak.