What’s a mouse’s favorite record?
Please cheese me!
What do you call an open can of tuna in a lesbians apartment?
Potpourri.
Whats the difference between a pizza and a jew?
A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.
When Chuck Norris eats dinner at a restaurant, the wait staff tips him.
Vote:
Yo' Mama is so stupid, she thinks the Wu-Tang Clan is a Japanese orange drink company.
What do you get when you cross a bunny with an orange?
A pip squeak.
Q: Why won't Easter eggs go out at night?
A: They don't want to get "beat up".
When Chuck Norris goes to out to eat, he orders a whole chicken, but he only eats its soul.
Vote:
A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, “This is the dumbest kid in the world.
Watch while I prove it to you.”
The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do you want, son?”
The boy takes the quarters and leaves. “What did I tell you?” said the barber.
“That kid never learns!” Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store.
“Hey, son! May I ask you a question?
Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?”
The boy licked his cone and replied, “Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!”
Doctor to woman patient: "Your husband is too fond of strong coffee. You should not give it to him."
Patient: "But you should see how excited he gets when I give him weak coffee."