Yo' Mama is so stupid, she tried to put the leftover orange juice back in the rind.
Teacher: "If you bought 8 hotdogs,9 cheese burgers and 7 fillet o fishes and you ate 8 hotdogs 9 cheese burger and 7 fillet o fish what do you have at the end?"
Little Johnny: "A bad blatter issue."
Coffee doesn't wake up Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris wakes coffee up.
Vote:
Whats the difference between a pizza and a jew?
A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.
The housewife answered a knock on the door and found a total stranger standing on the doorstep.
"Excuse me for disturbing you, ma'am," he said politely, "but I pass your house every morning on my way to work, and I've noticed that every day you appear to be hitting your son on the head with a loaf of bread."
"That's right."
"Every day you hit him on the head with a loaf of bread, and yet this morning you were beating him with a chocolate cake."
"Well, today is his birthday."
What do you get when you eat a prune pizza?
Pizzeria!
Vote:
Little Johnny took sex ed and every day when little Johnny would come in from school he'll tell his dad for learning sex ed well one day we'll just come in and he said that I got thrown out sex ed Lil Johnny's daddy says how do you get thrown out sex ed Little Johnny said well Dad I got in trouble for eating during class.
Q: How is spinach like anal sex?
A: Chances are if you're forced to have it as a child you are probably going to hate it as an adult.
William: May I have some money for the man crying outside ?
Mum: What crying man ?
William: The one that's crying, 'Ice cream! Ice Cream !'
Why did the dolphin feel crabby?
Because he ate too many crabs.