Why did the gray whale go on a diet? Because he wasn't a Fin whale.
What do you call an open can of tuna in a lesbians apartment? Potpourri.
Q: How is spinach like anal sex? A: Chances are if you're forced to have it as a child you are probably going to hate it as an adult.
Whats the difference between a pizza and a jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.
Yo' Mama is so flat, the last time she felt a breast was in a KFC bucket.
Chuck Norris was hungry so he went to eat a hotdog. When he saw it giggled and said: "What a bad luck! Look what a part of a dog I've to eat!"
Q: What happens when you feed gun powder to a chicken? A: Egg-splosion
What do sick cannibals have for breakfast? Vitamin bills!
A cat died and went to heaven. St. Peter said to the cat, "Is there anything I can do to make your stay here better?" The cat said, "I've been sleeping on a cold floor and I'd love a warm pillow to sleep on. St. Peter gave a pillow to the cat, and the cat headed off to bed. Later, some mice came to St. Peter. They wanted roller skates to get around faster so St. Peter gave them their skates and the mice went off. The next evening St. Peter checks in on the cat. "How was your night last night?" The cat said "That pillow you gave me is really nice, but what I like the most about heaven is the Meals on Wheels."
Yo mama so fat all the McDonald's food are gone.