The best food jokes

What do you call an open can of tuna in a lesbians apartment? Potpourri.
Vote: has 48.18 % from 41 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: food, lesbian, women
Yo' Mama is so flat, the last time she felt a breast was in a KFC bucket.
Vote: has 48.02 % from 11 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: food, insulting, Yo mama
A Gujarati Funeral… A family in Gujarat got simply puzzled when the coffin of their dead mother (Puj. Ba) arrived from the US. It was sent by one of the Daughters. The dead body was very tightly squeezed inside the coffin, with no space left in it when they opened the lid; they found a letter on top addressed to all her brothers and sisters: Dear Chandrakantbhai, Arvindbhai, Smitaben & Varsha, I am sending Puj. Ba’s dead body to you, since it was her last wish that she should be cremated in the compound of our ancestral home in Kadhywad, GUJARAT, India. Sorry, I could not come, all of my paid leaves got consumed. You will find inside the coffin, under Ba’s body, 5 cans of cheese, 10 packets of Tobler chocolates, 8 packets of Badam and few items for Kids. Please divide these among all of you. Near Ba’s feet, you will find a new pair of Reebok shoes (size 10) for Mohan. There are also 2 pairs of shoes for Radha’s and Lakshmi’s sons. Hope the sizes are correct! Ba is wearing 6 American T-Shirts. The large size is for Mohan and rest you can decide. The 2 new Jeans that Ba is wearing are for the boys. The Swiss watch that Reema wanted is on Ba’s left wrist. Shanta masi, Ba is wearing the necklace, earrings and ring that you asked for. Please take it. The few pairs of white cotton socks that Ba is wearing must be divided among all the Nephews. Please distribute all these above items fairly & equally. Yours loving sister, Anubhavi P.S.: If anything more needed, let me know soon as Bapuji is also not feeling too well now a days…
Vote: has 48.02 % from 32 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: death, food, funeral, life
Q: What happens when you feed gun powder to a chicken? A: Egg-splosion
Vote: has 47.37 % from 18 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: food
What do sick cannibals have for breakfast? Vitamin bills!
Vote: has 47.37 % from 18 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, food
Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin are having dinner. Trump orders a steak, and Putin orders the roast duck. The waiter, however, gets their plates mixed up. Trump does not wait, but rather just starts digging in. "Wow," Putin says. "Your hands make my duck look bigger."
Vote: has 47.37 % from 18 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, duck, food, political
One day Adam and his parents were at the mall. Adams mum gave him a $5 note and sent him on his way. He got a bag of chips and a drink. He went outside and his mum and dad weren't there.
Vote: has 47.37 % from 18 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: family, food, kids, mean, money
Little Johnny: „Mom, can I get a dog at Christmas, please?"  Mother: „No, you'll be getting turkey, like every year!"
Vote: has 47.29 % from 72 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, Christmas, dog, food, little Johnny
How did the cannibal turn over a new leaf? He became a vegetarian.
Vote: has 46.70 % from 20 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, food
What is a cannibal's favorite food? Baked Beings.
Vote: has 46.70 % from 20 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, food


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