Q: What is the worst thing about a vegetable?
A: Spitting them back up in a wheelchair.
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If Chuck Norris were an Adam's Apple, he'd be in your throat right now.
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What do you call a rabbit who works in a bakery?
A yeaster bunny.
If Chuck Norris was here in the Philippines, there would be no hostage crisis.
He eats hostage-takers for breakfast!
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Q: What did the Arctic wolf ask in the restaurant?
A: "Are these lemmings fresh off the tundra?"
Chuck Norris invented Kentucky Fried Chicken's famous secret recipe, with eleven herbs and spices.
But nobody ever mentions the twelfth ingredient: Fear.
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Q: What's the difference between a cook and a gay?
A: The cook stirs today's lunch, whereas the gay stirs yesterday's dinner.
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Chuck Norris once ordered a steak in a restaurant.
The steak did what it was told.
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Q: Where do pirates buy their parrot food?
A: Petsmarrrrrrrrt!
Coffee doesn't wake up Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris wakes coffee up.
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