Q: What is the worst thing about a vegetable?
A: Spitting them back up in a wheelchair.
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If Chuck Norris were an Adam's Apple, he'd be in your throat right now.
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What do you call a rabbit who works in a bakery?
A yeaster bunny.
If Chuck Norris was here in the Philippines, there would be no hostage crisis.
He eats hostage-takers for breakfast!
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Q: What did the Arctic wolf ask in the restaurant?
A: "Are these lemmings fresh off the tundra?"
Chuck Norris invented Kentucky Fried Chicken's famous secret recipe, with eleven herbs and spices.
But nobody ever mentions the twelfth ingredient: Fear.
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What do you call a school bus full of black people?
A rotten banana.
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Q: What's the difference between a cook and a gay?
A: The cook stirs today's lunch, whereas the gay stirs yesterday's dinner.
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Chuck Norris once ordered a steak in a restaurant.
The steak did what it was told.
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This woman walks into a tattoo parlor and asks for a tattoo of a christmas tree on her right inner thigh and a cocktail drink on her left inner thigh.
The tatoo artist say thats an unusual request. "Why do you want two tattoos there?"
So she says "Because my husband needs to eat between christmas and new years."