The phrase "Just a second" comes from the time it takes for Chuck Norris to heat up a cup of coffee... with his breath.
A patient: "Doctor, I don’t feel hungry after taking meal." Doctor: "Really, your condition is very serious. Wait a bit." (After sometime, the doctor holds out some medicines). Doctor: "Take these pills. You take one pill after your sleep and another one before you get-up."
Q: What do the mosquito parents say to their small children, when they see people lying on the sandy beach during a hot summer day more than 15 minutes? A: "Kids, prepare the cutlery and your chin-straps. Our lunch is already heated up and ready for the consumption!"
Some people like to eat frogs' legs. Chuck Norris likes to eat lizard legs. Hence, snakes.
My dental hygienist is cute. Every time I visit, I eat a whole package of Oreo cookies while waiting in the lobby. Sometimes she has to cancel the rest of the afternoon's appointments.
Q: Where do pirates buy their parrot food? A: Petsmarrrrrrrrt!
When Chuck Norris eats dinner at a restaurant, the wait staff tips him.
What do you call a chocolate Easter bunny that was out in the sun too long? A runny bunny.
Coffee doesn't wake up Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris wakes coffee up.
Chuck Norris likes his steaks still mooing.