How do you lead a horse to water? With lots of carrots.
Why was the horse all charged up? It ate some haywire!
What do you call a rabbit who works in a bakery? A yeaster bunny.
What does a blonde see when she looks into a box of cheerios? Donut Seeds.
If Chuck Norris were an Adam's Apple, he'd be in your throat right now.
If Chuck Norris was here in the Philippines, there would be no hostage crisis. He eats hostage-takers for breakfast!
Chuck Norris invented Kentucky Fried Chicken's famous secret recipe, with eleven herbs and spices. But nobody ever mentions the twelfth ingredient: Fear.
The phrase "Just a second" comes from the time it takes for Chuck Norris to heat up a cup of coffee... with his breath.
A patient: "Doctor, I don’t feel hungry after taking meal." Doctor: "Really, your condition is very serious. Wait a bit." (After sometime, the doctor holds out some medicines). Doctor: "Take these pills. You take one pill after your sleep and another one before you get-up."
What do you call a chocolate Easter bunny that was out in the sun too long? A runny bunny.