What is a cannibal's favorite food? Baked Beings.
When Chuck Norris makes a burrito, its main ingredient is real toes.
Q: What do you call an empty jar of Cheez Whiz? A: Cheez Whuz.
Yo' Mama is so stupid, she tried to put the leftover orange juice back in the rind.
What do you get when you eat a prune pizza? Pizzeria!
A cat died and went to heaven. St. Peter said to the cat, "Is there anything I can do to make your stay here better?" The cat said, "I've been sleeping on a cold floor and I'd love a warm pillow to sleep on. St. Peter gave a pillow to the cat, and the cat headed off to bed. Later, some mice came to St. Peter. They wanted roller skates to get around faster so St. Peter gave them their skates and the mice went off. The next evening St. Peter checks in on the cat. "How was your night last night?" The cat said "That pillow you gave me is really nice, but what I like the most about heaven is the Meals on Wheels."
Why should you only put 239 beans in bean soup? Cuz one more will make it "too farty!"
William: May I have some money for the man crying outside ? Mum: What crying man ? William: The one that's crying, 'Ice cream! Ice Cream !'
Little Johnny took sex ed and every day when little Johnny would come in from school he'll tell his dad for learning sex ed well one day we'll just come in and he said that I got thrown out sex ed Lil Johnny's daddy says how do you get thrown out sex ed Little Johnny said well Dad I got in trouble for eating during class.
Q: What do spaghetti and blondes have in common? A: They both wiggle when you eat them!