The best food jokes

Maths teacher: "If you have 12 chocolates and you give 5 to Priya, 3 to Sonia and 2 to Penny then what will you get?" "3 new Girlfriends!"
Vote: has 79.10 % from 294 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, relationship, school, teacher
An apple, a banana and a penis got into an argument one day. The apple says sadly "I have the worst life ever. People take one bite of me and throw me on the ground." The banana says "You think thats bad? People take off my clothes, eat my insides and leave my clothes on the floor." The penis laughs. "You guys have it easy. You try having people sticking you in dark, wet caves, putting bags over your head, messaging you for hours and making you do push-ups until you throw up!"
Vote: has 79.06 % from 377 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, food, sex
A Boyfriend texts his Girlfriend saying "Hey babe you wanna come over and have sex?" Girlfriend texts back "Duh!" So the girl goes over her Boyfriends house, and right before they get into it, he sets the boundaries. "Ok, so my little brother is home, and I have bunk beds. He's on the bottom bunk. If you want it harder, you say tomato. If you want it faster, you say lettuce, and if you want to moan you say any other ingredients that would be on a sandwich." So they're up on the top bunk having sex, and she's yelling "Tomato! Tomato! Lettuce! Lettuce! Cheese! Cheese!" Well the little brother is still on the bottom bunk and yells "Hey can you guys knock it off, your getting Mayonnaise all over me!!!"
Vote: has 79.00 % from 612 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, food, sex
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with strawberry soda? A berry bubbly bunny.
Vote: has 78.80 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, food
What happened when the cannibal ate the speaking clock? It repeated on him.
Vote: has 78.80 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, life, time
Do people who run know that we're not food anymore?
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More jokes about: food, sport
My wife's cooking is so bad we usually pray after our food.
Vote: has 78.59 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, mean, religious, wife
Spilled milk cries over Chuck Norris.
Vote: has 78.53 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
How can you help a starving cannibal? Give him a helping hand.
Vote: has 78.53 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, food
A policeman caught a mischievous little boy with a penknife in one hand and a squirrel in the other. "Now listen here," the policeman said, "Whatever you do to that poor, innocent creature I shall personally do to you." "In that case," said the boy, "I'll give it lots of chocolates as well as all my money and let it go."
Vote: has 78.51 % from 166 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, cop, food, kids, money