The best food jokes

Why It Sucks to Be an Egg... You only get laid once, you only get hard once, and when you DO finally get hard, it takes under three minutes and you're already in hot water.
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has 78.90 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: food, life
In the middle of a forest, there was a hunter who was suddenly confronted by a huge, mean bear. In his fear, all attempts to shoot the bear were unsuccessful. Finally, he turned and ran as fast as he could. The hunter ran and ran and ran, until he ended up at the edge of a very steep cliff. His hopes were dim. Seeing no way out of his predicament, and with the bear closing in rather quickly, the hunter got down on his knees, opened his arms, and exclaimed, "Dear God! Please give this bear some religion!" The skies darkened and there was lightning in the air. Just a few feet short of the hunter, the bear came to an abrupt stop, and glanced around, somewhat confused. Suddenly, the bear looked up into the sky and said, "Thank you, God, for the food I'm about to receive..."
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has 78.89 % from 120 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, god, hunting, religious
A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in. The doctor arrived, examined the baby, checked his weight and found it somewhat below normal. The doctor asked if the baby was breast fed or bottle fed. "Breast fed," the woman replied. "Well, strip down to your waist," the doctor asked. She did. He pressed, kneaded, rolled, cupped, and pinched both breasts in a detailed, rigorously thorough examination. Motioning for her to get dressed he said, "No wonder this baby is under weight! You don't have any milk." "I know," she said, "I'm his grandmother, but I'm glad I came."
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has 78.74 % from 458 votes. More jokes about: baby, doctor, food, women
Facebook is like a fridge. Even when u know there's nothing new going on, u still go on & check it every 10 minute.
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has 78.72 % from 754 votes. More jokes about: Facebook, food
Yo mama is so stupid, she returned a doughnut cause it had a hole in it.
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has 78.62 % from 611 votes. More jokes about: food, stupid, Yo mama
Yo momma is so stupid she stared at an orange juice container for 2 hours because it said concentrate.
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has 78.59 % from 1197 votes. More jokes about: food, stupid, Yo mama
Every box of raisins is a tragic tale of grapes that could have been wine.
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has 78.53 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: food, wine
Q: What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? A: Getting her out of the wheelchair.
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has 78.50 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: black humor, food, health
Q: Why are Germans bad cooks? A: The only good one killed himself.
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has 78.31 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, food, Hitler, work
Maths teacher: "If you have 12 chocolates and you give 5 to Priya, 3 to Sonia and 2 to Penny then what will you get?" "3 new Girlfriends!"
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has 78.15 % from 306 votes. More jokes about: food, relationship, school, teacher