The best food jokes

Chuck Norris is the only one that can turn lemonade into lemons.
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has 78.59 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
Customer: "Waiter, do you serve crabs?" Waiter: "Please sit down sir, we serve everyone."
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has 78.59 % from 85 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, life
In the middle of a forest, there was a hunter who was suddenly confronted by a huge, mean bear. In his fear, all attempts to shoot the bear were unsuccessful. Finally, he turned and ran as fast as he could. The hunter ran and ran and ran, until he ended up at the edge of a very steep cliff. His hopes were dim. Seeing no way out of his predicament, and with the bear closing in rather quickly, the hunter got down on his knees, opened his arms, and exclaimed, "Dear God! Please give this bear some religion!" The skies darkened and there was lightning in the air. Just a few feet short of the hunter, the bear came to an abrupt stop, and glanced around, somewhat confused. Suddenly, the bear looked up into the sky and said, "Thank you, God, for the food I'm about to receive..."
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has 78.57 % from 129 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, god, hunting, religious
Chuck Norris shot an arrow down with an apple.
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has 78.55 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
Q: What do you call a Democratic buffet? A: A free for all.
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has 78.47 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: democrat, food, money, political
A guy orders spaghetti in a restaurant. In the middle of eating he finds a hair in his food. He says to the waiter, "I'm not paying for this dirty meal," and walks out. The waiter watches the guy go into a whorehouse. The waiter waits about 10 minutes, bursts through the door and finds the guy with his face buried in p**sy. The waiter says, "You eat p**sy and complain about one hair in your spaghetti." The man replies, "Yeah, and if I find any spaghetti in this p**sy, I'm not paying for it either."
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has 78.37 % from 117 votes. More jokes about: dirty, food
Yo mama is so stupid, she returned a doughnut cause it had a hole in it.
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has 78.32 % from 617 votes. More jokes about: food, stupid, Yo mama
Maths teacher: "If you have 12 chocolates and you give 5 to Priya, 3 to Sonia and 2 to Penny then what will you get?" "3 new Girlfriends!"
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has 78.22 % from 307 votes. More jokes about: food, relationship, school, teacher
Just been to the gym and there's a new machine. Only used it for an hour as I started to feel sick. Its good though, it does everything 'Kitkats, Mars bars, Snickers and crisps'!
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has 78.13 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: fat, fitness, food, gym
Two cannibals are enjoying a Thanksgiving dinner and a light conversation about all things family. "I just can't stand my mother-in-law," sighs one. "That's quite understandable," nods the other one, "why don't you just have the potatoes with the gravy?"
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has 78.00 % from 66 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, food, mother in law, Thanksgiving