The best food jokes

Me: "Hey, don't assume I'm dying alone. I might find someone, you don't know." Waiter: "I asked if you were dining alone." Me: "Oh, sorry. Yes."
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has 78.90 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: communication, food, single
Q: What food diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%? A: Her wedding cake.
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has 78.77 % from 1311 votes. More jokes about: food, marriage, sex, wedding
A very popular girl went to her doctor and found out that she was pregnant. The doctor says, “I know that you are not married! Do you know who the father of this baby is?” The girl thought and then asked, “Doc, if you ate a can of Baked Beans, would you know which bean made you fart?”
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has 78.75 % from 443 votes. More jokes about: dirty, doctor, fart, food
Yo mama is so stupid, she returned a doughnut cause it had a hole in it.
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has 78.59 % from 640 votes. More jokes about: food, stupid, Yo mama
Yo momma is so stupid she stared at an orange juice container for 2 hours because it said concentrate.
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has 78.56 % from 1239 votes. More jokes about: food, stupid, Yo mama
Every time I say that I'm ready to order in a restaurant, what I really mean is that I'm not ready but the panic will help me make a decision.
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has 78.53 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: communication, food, time
Three robbers break into a bank, but when they open the safe, they find only boxes. One robber opens a box and finds cups full of yogurt. "We didn't find any money, but we got something to eat," he tells his partners. They eat their fill and leave. The next morning's newspaper headline reads, "World's Largest Sperm Bank Robbed."
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has 78.44 % from 223 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, food, money
A guy orders spaghetti in a restaurant. In the middle of eating he finds a hair in his food. He says to the waiter, "I'm not paying for this dirty meal," and walks out. The waiter watches the guy go into a whorehouse. The waiter waits about 10 minutes, bursts through the door and finds the guy with his face buried in p**sy. The waiter says, "You eat p**sy and complain about one hair in your spaghetti." The man replies, "Yeah, and if I find any spaghetti in this p**sy, I'm not paying for it either."
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has 78.22 % from 148 votes. More jokes about: dirty, food
A man wanted to become a monk so he went to the monastery and talked to the head monk. The head monk said, "You must take a vow of silence and can only say two words every three years." The man agreed and after the first 3 years, the head monk came to him and said, "What are your two words?" "Food cold!" the man replied. Three more years went by and the head monk came to him and said "What are your two words?" "Robe dirty!" the man exclaimed. Three more years went by and the head monk came to him and said, "What are your two words?" "I quit!" said the man. "Well," the head monk replied, "I am not surprised. You have done nothing but complain ever since you got here!"
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has 78.15 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: food, men, work
Two attorneys went into a diner and ordered two drinks. Then they produced sandwiches from their briefcases and started to eat. The owner became quite concerned and marched over and told them, “You can’t eat your own sandwiches in here!” The attorneys looked at each other, shrugged their shoulders and then exchanged sandwiches.
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has 78.13 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: food, lawyer