The best friendship jokes

My friend over there really wants your number so he knows where to get a hold of me in the morning.
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has 66.38 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: dirty, flirt, friendship, phone, sex
Two friends talk: "Hi, what are you doing?" "Not much, writing a Valentine's Day greeting card." "Why are you writing it with your left hand? Are you left-handed?" "No, I just can't let my right hand to see it. It's a surprise for it."
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has 65.88 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: dirty, friendship, Valentines day
Two friends who had not seen each other for awhile met at a bar. "Hey, your wife just had a birthday recently, didn't she? Did you get her anything special?" "Yeah, I got her a pair of slippers and a dildo." "A pair of slippers and a dildo?" "Yeah, I said 'If you don't like the slippers, you can go fuck yourself.' "
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has 65.52 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: bar, birthday, dirty, friendship, sex
John: "Hey can I borrow some money? I'm broke." Michael: "Get money from your job." John: "I got fired." Michael: "Why?" John: "My boss told me to leave all my problems behind the door, so I told him to stand outside." Michael: "This is why we are friends."
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has 65.19 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: friendship, life, management, money, work
Get bad marks, relatives will insult you. Get good marks, friends will insult you.
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has 64.88 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: family, friendship, insulting, school
Two friends were walking through the woods when they thought they heard something. They turned around and saw a big black bear coming towards them. Both men started to run when one of them stopped to change into tennis shoes. The second man said "You don't have time to change shoes. You can't outrun that bear!" The first man said, "I know I can't outrun the bear. I only have to outrun you"!
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has 63.75 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, death, friendship
Pritam is driving down the Delhi-Amritsar highway when he spots his friend Shankar standing in the middle of a huge field of grass. He pulls the car over to the side of the road and notices that Shankar is just standing there, doing nothing, looking at nothing. Pritam gets out of the car, walks all the way out to Shankar and asks him, "Excuse me, what are you doing?" Shankar replies, "I'm trying to win a Nobel Prize." "How?" asks Pritam, puzzled. "Well, I heard they give the Noble Prize to people who are outstanding in their field."
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has 63.00 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: car, communication, driving, friendship, stupid
My friend to me "I don't understand why Chuck Norris is the butt of so many jokes." Me to the friend "Well he does kick a lot of them."
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has 62.61 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, communication, friendship
None of my friends laugh at any of my jokes because cats can only meow.
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has 62.22 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: cat, communication, friendship
When I offer you food it's just because my mother raised me right. As a firend, read the truth in my eyes and politely decline.
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: food, friendship, mean