The best friendship jokes

A cruise ship founders on a reef, and a man just manages to swim some miles and crawl up on a desert island. After recovering from the ordeal, he begins to explore and finds to his great surprise (and pleasure) that the only other survivor of this terrible tragedy is Cindy Crawford. They build a lean-to and find some food and water. After a few weeks, it becomes clear that help is not on the way, so they start to get intimate. The guy is clearly ecstatic for a couple of weeks, but one morning she awakes to find him moping under a tree. "What's the matter?" Cindy says: "Is there anything I can do?" "Well, I am a little shy about asking you," he replies: "But could you take some of that charcoal from the fire and paint a mustache on your face?" "A mustache? Well... I... I suppose so", and she does it. "Now, there's just one other thing. Can I call you Bob... like my friend?" "Bob? Well... if it will make you feel better... all right." "Great!" he cries, looks at her and says: "Bob! You're never gonna believe who I'm fucking!"
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has 69.02 % from 80 votes. More jokes about: desert island, friendship, sex, time, travel
*How girls become friends* Omg I love your shoes! *How guys become friends* Excuse me sir, I see you fuck bitches, I myself, also fuck bitches.
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has 68.87 % from 313 votes. More jokes about: dirty, friendship
I and my two mates went to a hooker and she told us that it will cost us a pound an inch. My first mate went in and came out after minutes, saying, it cost me a tenner! My second mate went in and came out ten minutes later and said, it cost me £9.50! I went in and came out ten minutes later and said, it cost me £3.50.! "What do you mean," they asked me. "I told them, you both paid on the way in but I paid on the way out."
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has 68.56 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: communication, friendship, money, sex, time
My New Year's resolution is to stop hanging out with people who ask me about my New Year's resolutions.
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has 67.89 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: friendship, new year
One day, a guy walks into a pub and orders a beer. His friend walks up and sees his red eyes and asks, "Dude, are you okay? You look exhausted". He replies,"Yeah, I heard about what happened in your house yesterday too. Tough." His friend says, "Yeah, I wish I could trust my wife a little more - wait... How did you know about that?" He says,"I was there" and continues chugging his beer.
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has 67.69 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: beer, communication, friendship, marriage, mean
Get bad marks, relatives will insult you. Get good marks, friends will insult you.
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has 67.68 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: family, friendship, insulting, school
When you are in Hospital, your friends ask: "Hey, how are you dear?" But your best friend ask: "Hey buddy, how is the nurse?"
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has 67.64 % from 87 votes. More jokes about: dirty, friendship, hospital, nurse
Before Instagram, I used to waste so much time sitting around having to imagine what my friends' food looked like.
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has 67.34 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: food, friendship, internet, IT, technology
Yo mama's so dumb that when she saw the "Under 17 not admitted" sign at a movie theatre, she went home and got 16 friends.
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has 66.96 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: age, friendship, stupid, Yo mama
Pritam is driving down the Delhi-Amritsar highway when he spots his friend Shankar standing in the middle of a huge field of grass. He pulls the car over to the side of the road and notices that Shankar is just standing there, doing nothing, looking at nothing. Pritam gets out of the car, walks all the way out to Shankar and asks him, "Excuse me, what are you doing?" Shankar replies, "I'm trying to win a Nobel Prize." "How?" asks Pritam, puzzled. "Well, I heard they give the Noble Prize to people who are outstanding in their field."
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has 66.77 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: car, communication, driving, friendship, stupid