Q: What did the deaf, blind, mute girl get for Christmas? A: Cancer.
Q: Who may open the door without using hands, nor legs? A: An invalid.
Yo' Mama is so stanky, she gets sourdough yeast infections.
Three old men were sitting on a porch. "I wish I could take a healthy piss," said one. "I wish I could take a healthy crap," said another. "I can take a crap at 6 AM and a piss at 11 AM. I just wish I could get up before noon."
What do you call an Ethiopian with a yeast infection? A quarter pounder with cheese
Deciding to take up jogging, the middle-aged man was astounded by the wide selection of jogging shoes available at the local sports shoe store. While trying on a basic pair of jogging shoe, he noticed a minor feature and asked the clerk about it. “What’s this little pocket thing here on the side for?” “Oh, that’s to carry spare change so you can call your wife to come pick you up when you’ve jogged too far.”
There are two cows in a field. One says to the other: "So what do you think of mad cow disease?" The other replies: "I don't know, I'm a chicken!"
Q. Why is it okay for dumb blonde's to catch cold? A. They don't have to worry about blowing their brains out.
What do you call a van with 5 faggots in it? The AIDS team.
"How are your hemorrhoids?" "Swell."