Q: How did the medical community come up with the term "PMS"? A: "Mad Cow Disease" was already taken.
Q: What's brown and very bad for your dental health? A: A baseball bat.
What's funnier than cancer? Most things, really.
Two cows are standing in a field. One says to the other "Are you worried about Mad Cow Disease?" The other one says "No, It doesn't worry me, I'm a horse!"
The doctor stood by the bedside of a very sick patient and said, “I cannot hide the fact that your are very ill, my man. Is there any one you would like to see?”. “Yes,” replied the patient faintly, “Another doctor”.
People say that time heals all wounds. They obviously never got roundhouse kicked by Chuck Norris
Doctor: "Sir, I have some bad news; you have been diagnosed with cancer and Alzheimers." Old man: "Well, at least I don't have cancer!"
Your moma is so ugly...she could make medicine sick!
Doctor (to the patient: "Did I not give you the medicine yesterday? Did you take it?" Patient: "Yes, sir. But I did not drink it." Doctor: "Why?" Patient (Pointing to the bottle): "Because it is written on the label: 'Close the cork tightly and keep it in a cool place.'"
Two cows were chatting over the fence between their fields. The first cow said, "I tell you, this mad-cow-disease is really pretty scary. They say it is spreading fast; I heard it hit some cows down on the Johnson Farm." The other cow replied, "Hell, I ain't worried, it won't affect us ducks."