The best health jokes

A husband asks his very ill wife at the hospital: Tell me what is your last wish? Nothing more, I just want to check my status on Facebook.
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has 61.90 % from 279 votes. More jokes about: Facebook, health, hospital, wife
„And, Johnny? How did your school report turn out?" asks mother. „Come on mom, the most important thing is that I'm healthy!"
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has 61.43 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: health, little Johnny, school
I took my wife's family out for biscuits and tea. They weren't very happy about having to donate blood though.
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: family, food, health, hospital
Two shepherds lean on their crooks at the end of a long day and the first asks the second, "So, how's it going?" The second one sighed and shook his head, "Not good, I can't pay my bills, my health isn't good, my kids don't respect me, and my wife is leaving me." The first replied, "Well, don't lose any sheep over it."
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has 61.25 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: animal, health, money, wife
Q: What's brown and very bad for your dental health? A: A baseball bat.
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has 61.25 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: dentist, health, sport
Cancer gets checked for Chuck Norris.
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has 60.75 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, health
What's funnier than cancer? Most things, really.
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has 60.65 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: black humor, health
A guy is going down on a prostitute. During the process he pulls out a piece of corn. Mildly disgusted, he tries to forget about it and continues. Then he finds a chunk of carrot and a pea, and he says, "I think I am going to be sick." The whore looks up and says, "That's what the last guy said!"
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has 60.56 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, food, health
A man walks into the doctors and the doctor says, "I've not seen you for a while." The man replies, "Yes, I've been ill."
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has 60.16 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: doctor, health, life
On Sunday little Johnny with his dad went for bathing. The ground was slippery. So poor boy for avoiding of knocking down grabbed his father's penis. His father smiled and told him: "Oh boy you are lucky. If you were with your mother you were concussion!"
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has 59.88 % from 97 votes. More jokes about: dad, dirty, health, little Johnny, women
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