The best health jokes

Q: What did the deaf, blind, mute girl get for Christmas? A: Cancer.
Vote: has 47.72 % from 34 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, Christmas, health
Q: Who may open the door without using hands, nor legs? A: An invalid.
Vote: has 46.70 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, health
Yo' Mama is so stanky, she gets sourdough yeast infections.
Vote: has 46.10 % from 8 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: health, insulting, Yo mama
Three old men were sitting on a porch. "I wish I could take a healthy piss," said one. "I wish I could take a healthy crap," said another. "I can take a crap at 6 AM and a piss at 11 AM. I just wish I could get up before noon."
Vote: has 45.58 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, health, time
What do you call an Ethiopian with a yeast infection? A quarter pounder with cheese
Vote: has 44.49 % from 48 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, food, health
Deciding to take up jogging, the middle-aged man was astounded by the wide selection of jogging shoes available at the local sports shoe store. While trying on a basic pair of jogging shoe, he noticed a minor feature and asked the clerk about it. “What’s this little pocket thing here on the side for?” “Oh, that’s to carry spare change so you can call your wife to come pick you up when you’ve jogged too far.”
Vote: has 44.46 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, health, money, old people, wife
There are two cows in a field. One says to the other: "So what do you think of mad cow disease?" The other replies: "I don't know, I'm a chicken!"
Vote: has 44.24 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, health
Q. Why is it okay for dumb blonde's to catch cold? A. They don't have to worry about blowing their brains out.
Vote: has 44.24 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, health
What do you call a van with 5 faggots in it? The AIDS team.
Vote: has 44.13 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, health
"How are your hemorrhoids?" "Swell."
Vote: has 39.47 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, health