The best health jokes

Q: Why was the lesbian sick? A: She was lacking vitamin D.
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has 50.94 % from 151 votes. More jokes about: health, lesbian
fi yuo cna raed tihs whit no porlbem, yuo aer smrat. Shaer ti whit yuor fienrds.
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has 50.76 % from 333 votes. More jokes about: health
Q: Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused a Novocain injection during root canal treatment? A: He wanted to transcend dental medication!
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has 50.70 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: dentist, health, religious
Q: How did the medical community come up with the term "PMS"? A: "Mad Cow Disease" was already taken.
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has 49.54 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: health, insulting, medical, women
What happens when you kiss a canary? You get chirpes, it can't be tweeted because its a canarial disease.
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has 49.36 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: animal, bird, health, parrot
Teacher: "If you bought 8 hotdogs,9 cheese burgers and 7 fillet o fishes and you ate 8 hotdogs 9 cheese burger and 7 fillet o fish what do you have at the end?" Little Johnny: "A bad blatter issue."
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has 48.78 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: fish, food, health, little Johnny, math
Chuck Norris never suffers from a heart attack. His heart is too smart to not attack him.
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has 48.78 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, health
Three old men were sitting on a porch. "I wish I could take a healthy piss," said one. "I wish I could take a healthy crap," said another. "I can take a crap at 6 AM and a piss at 11 AM. I just wish I could get up before noon."
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has 48.78 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, health, time
A study showed the leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer
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has 48.59 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, geography, health
Bubba was bragging to his boss one day, "You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them." Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, "OK, Bubba how about Tom Cruise?" "Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it. " So Bubba and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's door, and sure enough, Tom Cruise shouts, "Bubba! Great to see you! You and your friend come right in and join me for lunch!" Although impressed, Bubba's boss is still skeptical. After they leave Cruise's house, he tells Bubba that he thinks Bubba's knowing Cruise was just lucky. "No, no, just name anyone else," Bubba says. "President Clinton," his boss quickly retorts. "Yes," Bubba says, "I know him, let's fly out to Washington." And off they go. At the White House, Clinton spots Bubba on the tour and motions him and his boss over, saying, "Bubba, what a surprise, I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and let's have a cup of coffee first and catch up." Well, the boss is very shaken by now, but still not totally convinced. After they leave the White house grounds, he expresses his doubts to Bubba, who again implores him to name anyone else. "The Pope," his boss replies. "Sure!" says Bubba. "My folks are from Poland, and I've known the Pope a long time." So off they fly to Rome. Bubba and his boss are assembled with the masses in Vatican Square when Bubba says, "This will never work. I can't catch the Pope's eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards so let me just go upstairs and I'll come out on the balcony with the Pope." And he disappears into the crowd headed toward the Vatican. Sure enough, half an hour later Bubba emerges with the Pope on the balcony. But by the time Bubba returns, he finds that his boss has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics. Working his way to his boss' side, Bubba asks him, "What happened?" His boss looks up and says, "I was doing fine until you and the Pope came out on the balcony and the man next to me said, "Who's that on the balcony with Bubba?"
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has 48.40 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, health, life, work
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