Q: What is brown, small, and smells of caramel? A: A diabetic who's been struck by lightning.
A guy is going down on a prostitute. During the process he pulls out a piece of corn. Mildly disgusted, he tries to forget about it and continues. Then he finds a chunk of carrot and a pea, and he says, "I think I am going to be sick." The whore looks up and says, "That's what the last guy said!"
Chuck Norris once went to Stevie Wonders concerts and smiled at him; Stevie Wonder is now blind.
In the medical community, death is referred to as "Chuck Norris Disease".
Two cows were chatting over the fence between their fields. The first cow said, "I tell you, this mad-cow-disease is really pretty scary. They say it is spreading fast; I heard it hit some cows down on the Johnson Farm." The other cow replied, "Hell, I ain't worried, it won't affect us ducks."
A man walks into the doctors and the doctor says, "I've not seen you for a while." The man replies, "Yes, I've been ill."
Chuck Norris made sick the healthy chocolate.
Yo momma is so ugly that Superman lost his supervision and went blind.
There are bats hanging of a branch upside down, all except one. Two bats comment: "What's happened to this one? I don't know, two minutes ago he seemed normal and then he fainted.
Every phobia known to man has a phobia of Chuck Norris.