What do you get if you cross a cow with a tension headache?
A bad mood.
There are bats hanging of a branch upside down, all except one.
Two bats comment: "What's happened to this one?
I don't know, two minutes ago he seemed normal and then he fainted.
Why did the skunk buy four boxes of tissues?
Because he had a stinking cold.
When Chuck Norris first saw Dragon Ball Z he thought it was a series of easy workout videos.
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A man walks into the doctors and the doctor says, "I've not seen you for a while."
The man replies, "Yes, I've been ill."
What do cows get when they are sick?
Hay Fever.
The husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months yet the wife stayed by his bedside every single day.
When he came back to his senses, he motioned for her to come nearer.
As she sat by him, he said, "You know what?
You have been with me all through the bad times.
When I got fired, you were there to support me.
When my business fell, you were there.
When I got shot, you were by my side.
When we lost the house, you gave me support.
When my health started failing, you were still by my side.
When I think about it now. ....I think you bring me bad luck!"
Cancer gets checked for Chuck Norris.
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One of my friends returned from Afghanistan and I asked him if he is going to the party tomorrow.
He said he can't walk.
Chuck Noris once got his blood tested.
His blood type was AK-47.
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