The best health jokes

Doctor: "Sir, I have some bad news; you have been diagnosed with cancer and Alzheimers." Old man: "Well, at least I don't have cancer!"
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has 60.56 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: health, old people
Your moma is so ugly...she could make medicine sick!
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has 60.56 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: health, ugly, Yo mama
Doctor (to the patient: "Did I not give you the medicine yesterday? Did you take it?" Patient: "Yes, sir. But I did not drink it." Doctor: "Why?" Patient (Pointing to the bottle): "Because it is written on the label: 'Close the cork tightly and keep it in a cool place.'"
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has 60.56 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: drug, health, life
The newest therapy for healing the states of depression is so-called decapitation. It costs only 100 dollars but 50 dollars pays the health insurance company. The operation will be made only once and you will never feel depressive. I had also luck and I also gave an order to this kind of therapy. I wish well to myself.
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has 60.56 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: health, money
Doctor: "What seems to be your trouble?" Patient: "When I get up I feel dizzy for one hour." Doctor: "Try getting up one hour later."
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has 59.19 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: doctor, health, life
Doctor (to an absent-minded patient): "What is wrong with you?" Patient: "I am losing my memory. Please prescribe some medicine." Doctor (Handing him the prescription after a while): "Here, Take this." Patient: "Why are you giving me this prescription? I am perfectly all right."
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has 59.19 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: doctor, drug, health, memory, old people
Did you know Chuck Norris's tears was the curernto Cansa, but the problem was he never ever cried.
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has 59.19 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, health
Chuck Norris is the reason why Professor X is on a wheelchair.
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has 58.98 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris, health
„And, Johnny? How did your school report turn out?" asks mother. „Come on mom, the most important thing is that I'm healthy!"
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has 58.87 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: health, little Johnny, school
A guy is going down on a prostitute. During the process he pulls out a piece of corn. Mildly disgusted, he tries to forget about it and continues. Then he finds a chunk of carrot and a pea, and he says, "I think I am going to be sick." The whore looks up and says, "That's what the last guy said!"
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has 58.75 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, food, health
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