The best health jokes

Doctor (to an absent-minded patient): "What is wrong with you?" Patient: "I am losing my memory. Please prescribe some medicine." Doctor (Handing him the prescription after a while): "Here, Take this." Patient: "Why are you giving me this prescription? I am perfectly all right."
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has 52.93 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: doctor, drug, health, memory, old people
What has 2 grey legs and 2 brown legs? An elephant with diarrhea.
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has 52.93 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal, elephant, health
Deciding to take up jogging, the middle-aged man was astounded by the wide selection of jogging shoes available at the local sports shoe store. While trying on a basic pair of jogging shoe, he noticed a minor feature and asked the clerk about it. “What’s this little pocket thing here on the side for?” “Oh, that’s to carry spare change so you can call your wife to come pick you up when you’ve jogged too far.”
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has 52.38 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: age, health, money, old people, wife
A man went to the doctor complaining of insomnia. The doctor gave him a thorough examination, found absolutely nothing physically wrong with him, and then told him, "Listen, if you ever expect to cure your insomnia, you just have to stop taking your trouble to bed with you." "I know," said the man, "but I can’t. My wife refuses to sleep alone."
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has 52.37 % from 99 votes. More jokes about: doctor, health, marriage, wife
One of my friends returned from Afghanistan and I asked him if he is going to the party tomorrow. He said he can't walk.
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has 52.37 % from 99 votes. More jokes about: black humor, health, military, party, war
Q: What's meaner than a pit bull with herpes? A: The guy who gave it to him.
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has 52.18 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal, disgusting, health
Yo mama's so stupid she studied for blood test and failed.
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has 51.70 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: health, student, stupid, Yo mama
Hi, my name is "Milk." I'll do your body good.
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has 51.39 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: dirty, flirt, health, sex
The best thing about Alzheimer's Disease is that you get to meet so many new people.
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has 51.12 % from 76 votes. More jokes about: black humor, health
A guy is going down on a prostitute. During the process he pulls out a piece of corn. Mildly disgusted, he tries to forget about it and continues. Then he finds a chunk of carrot and a pea, and he says, "I think I am going to be sick." The whore looks up and says, "That's what the last guy said!"
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has 50.89 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, food, health
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