One of my friends returned from Afghanistan and I asked him if he is going to the party tomorrow. He said he can't walk.
Ten years without brushing causes horrible tooth decade.
Chuck Noris once got his blood tested. His blood type was AK-47.
What has 2 grey legs and 2 brown legs? An elephant with diarrhea.
A guy is going down on a prostitute. During the process he pulls out a piece of corn. Mildly disgusted, he tries to forget about it and continues. Then he finds a chunk of carrot and a pea, and he says, "I think I am going to be sick." The whore looks up and says, "That's what the last guy said!"
A man went to the doctor complaining of insomnia. The doctor gave him a thorough examination, found absolutely nothing physically wrong with him, and then told him, "Listen, if you ever expect to cure your insomnia, you just have to stop taking your trouble to bed with you." "I know," said the man, "but I can’t. My wife refuses to sleep alone."
Q: What's meaner than a pit bull with herpes? A: The guy who gave it to him.
Q: Why was the lesbian sick? A: She was lacking vitamin D.
Yo mama's so stupid she studied for blood test and failed.
Hi, my name is "Milk." I'll do your body good.