A kid once tried to scare Chuck Norris on Halloween... sadly he has had the hiccups now for 40 years.
There are bats hanging of a branch upside down, all except one. Two bats comment: "What's happened to this one? I don't know, two minutes ago he seemed normal and then he fainted.
Bruce Lee didn't die from an allergic reaction. He died cause Chuck Norris decided to not let him live anymore.
Q: Why are crippled people always picked on? A: Because they can't stand up for themselves.
A guy is going down on a prostitute. During the process he pulls out a piece of corn. Mildly disgusted, he tries to forget about it and continues. Then he finds a chunk of carrot and a pea, and he says, "I think I am going to be sick." The whore looks up and says, "That's what the last guy said!"
Q: Why was the lesbian sick? A: She was lacking vitamin D.
Yo' Mama is so skanky, her crabs ride dune buggies.
What has 2 grey legs and 2 brown legs? An elephant with diarrhea.
What do you get if you cross a cow with a tension headache? A bad mood.
Q: Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused a Novocain injection during root canal treatment? A: He wanted to transcend dental medication!