Chuck Noris once got his blood tested.
His blood type was AK-47.
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Deciding to take up jogging, the middle-aged man was astounded by the wide selection of jogging shoes available at the local sports shoe store.
While trying on a basic pair of jogging shoe, he noticed a minor feature and asked the clerk about it.
“What’s this little pocket thing here on the side for?”
“Oh, that’s to carry spare change so you can call your wife to come pick you up when you’ve jogged too far.”
When Chuck Norris first saw Dragon Ball Z he thought it was a series of easy workout videos.
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Hi, my name is "Milk." I'll do your body good.
The best thing about Alzheimer's Disease is that you get to meet so many new people.
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What do you call a vegetarian with diarrhea?
A salad shooter.
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What do you get if you cross a cow with a tension headache?
A bad mood.
Chuck Norris never suffers from a heart attack.
His heart is too smart to not attack him.
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fi yuo cna raed tihs whit no porlbem, yuo aer smrat. Shaer ti whit yuor fienrds.
Yo' Mama is so skanky, her crabs ride dune buggies.