The best health jokes

Phone a friend and tell them you're a doctor, and you're very, very sorry, but you did everything you could to save their... then pretend that the connection dropped out. Wait a couple beats, then give your deepest condolences. Then hang up.
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has 62.61 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: death, doctor, health, phone
I took my wife's family out for biscuits and tea. They weren't very happy about having to donate blood though.
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has 62.61 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: family, food, health, hospital
Q: How can you tell you have a really bad case of acne? A: It's when the blind try to read your face.
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has 62.22 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: black humor, health, ugly
A husband asks his very ill wife at the hospital: Tell me what is your last wish? Nothing more, I just want to check my status on Facebook.
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has 62.00 % from 277 votes. More jokes about: Facebook, health, hospital, wife
One of my friends returned from Afghanistan and I asked him if he is going to the party tomorrow. He said he can't walk.
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has 61.92 % from 76 votes. More jokes about: black humor, health, military, party, war
My husband, who uses a wheelchair, showed up at his eye doctor for an appointment. The receptionist checked the schedule, then said, "The nurse will call you in a moment. Have a seat." He smiled. "Done."
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has 61.89 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: communication, health, husband, nurse, stupid
„And, Johnny? How did your school report turn out?" asks mother. „Come on mom, the most important thing is that I'm healthy!"
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has 61.50 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: health, little Johnny, school
Two cows are standing in a field. One says to the other "Are you worried about Mad Cow Disease?" The other one says "No, It doesn't worry me, I'm a horse!"
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal, health
The doctor stood by the bedside of a very sick patient and said, “I cannot hide the fact that your are very ill, my man. Is there any one you would like to see?”. “Yes,” replied the patient faintly, “Another doctor”.
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: doctor, health, life
Did you hear about the male prostitute who got leprosy? He did okay until his business fell off.
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has 61.25 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: black humor, business, health
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