The best health jokes

Phone a friend and tell them you're a doctor, and you're very, very sorry, but you did everything you could to save their... then pretend that the connection dropped out. Wait a couple beats, then give your deepest condolences. Then hang up.
Vote: has 62.61 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: death, doctor, health, phone
Q: Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused a Novocain injection during root canal treatment? A: He wanted to transcend dental medication!
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More jokes about: dentist, health, religious
I took my wife's family out for biscuits and tea. They weren't very happy about having to donate blood though.
Vote: has 62.61 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: family, food, health, hospital
Did you know Chuck Norris's tears was the curernto Cansa, but the problem was he never ever cried.
Vote: has 62.61 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, health
A husband asks his very ill wife at the hospital: Tell me what is your last wish? Nothing more, I just want to check my status on Facebook.
Vote: has 62.22 % from 273 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Facebook, health, hospital, wife
Q: How can you tell when a blonde rejects a new brain transplant? A: She sneezes.
Vote: has 62.22 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, communication, health, stupid
Q: How did the medical community come up with the term "PMS"? A: "Mad Cow Disease" was already taken.
Vote: has 61.63 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: health, insulting, medical, women
A man returns to the U.S. from Africa feeling very ill. He goes to see his doctor, and is immediately rushed to the hospital, to undergo a barrage of extensive tests. The man wakes up after the tests in a private room at the hospital, and the phone by his bed rings. “This is your doctor. We’ve had the results back from your tests and we’ve found you have an extremely nasty virus, which is extremely contagious!” “Oh my gosh,” cries the man. He’s in a panic now. “What are you going to do, doctor?” “Well we’re going to put you on a diet of pizzas, pancakes, and pita bread.” “Will that cure me?” asked the man hopefully. The doctor replied, “Well no, but … it’s the only food we can get under the door.”
Vote: has 61.63 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, doctor, food, health, hospital
When you break a leg it is actually not your leg that is broken. It´s Chuck Norris´s leg. He owns everything including you and your pityful leg.
Vote: has 61.28 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, health
People say that time heals all wounds. They obviously never got roundhouse kicked by Chuck Norris
Vote: has 61.01 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, communication, health, time