The best health jokes

What's funnier than cancer? Most things, really.
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has 59.89 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: black humor, health
A woman comes up to me and says, "Hey sexy you lost 185 lbs and now you have money." "You wanna be my sugar daddy?" "Nope I'm diabetic!"
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has 59.89 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: flirt, health, money, stupid
Q: What do you give a sick bird? A: Tweetment!
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has 59.75 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: bird, health, internet
A Marine was going in for his physical. He had celebrated his 45th birthday that weekend. After taking all the tests, the blood other fluids. He was now waiting for the DR. in an office on the table in a paper outfit. The DR came in. After looking over all the notes, the Marine was asked if he had an active sex life. Straight-faced, the Marine answered. "Yes, Sir.' Asked how often, the Marine thought, "I cannot honestly answer that question, Sir." Turning to look at the Marine he was asked, "Why not?" Smiling the Marine stated. "One of the samples that were needed, I asked for some assistance. A nice Lady came in to help me. Would that count?" The DR. signed the paperwork. Walked out of the office saying, "Get dressed. You're fine."
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has 59.20 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: age, doctor, health, navy, sex
Phone a friend and tell them you're a doctor, and you're very, very sorry, but you did everything you could to save their... then pretend that the connection dropped out. Wait a couple beats, then give your deepest condolences. Then hang up.
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has 59.19 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: death, doctor, health, phone
How do you know Charles Sweeney was dyslexic? He wanted to order the flaming saganagi, but he accidentally ordered a flaming Nagasaki.
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has 58.58 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: black humor, celebrity, geography, health, war
The newest therapy for healing the states of depression is so-called decapitation. It costs only 100 dollars but 50 dollars pays the health insurance company. The operation will be made only once and you will never feel depressive. I had also luck and I also gave an order to this kind of therapy. I wish well to myself.
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has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: health, money
Yo momma is so ugly that Superman lost his supervision and went blind.
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has 58.51 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: health, ugly, Yo mama
„And, Johnny? How did your school report turn out?" asks mother. „Come on mom, the most important thing is that I'm healthy!"
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has 57.82 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: health, little Johnny, school
On Sunday little Johnny with his dad went for bathing. The ground was slippery. So poor boy for avoiding of knocking down grabbed his father's penis. His father smiled and told him: "Oh boy you are lucky. If you were with your mother you were concussion!"
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has 57.21 % from 106 votes. More jokes about: dad, dirty, health, little Johnny, women
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