The best health jokes

The doctor stood by the bedside of a very sick patient and said, “I cannot hide the fact that your are very ill, my man. Is there any one you would like to see?”. “Yes,” replied the patient faintly, “Another doctor”.
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has 63.17 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: doctor, health, life
Chuck Norris once gave a man the Hiemlich Manuever. That man still holds the record for most bones broken.
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has 63.00 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, health
Q: What's brown and very bad for your dental health? A: A baseball bat.
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has 62.50 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: dentist, health, sport
Doctor: "Sir, I have some bad news; you have been diagnosed with cancer and Alzheimers." Old man: "Well, at least I don't have cancer!"
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has 62.22 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: health, old people
A guy is going down on a prostitute. During the process he pulls out a piece of corn. Mildly disgusted, he tries to forget about it and continues. Then he finds a chunk of carrot and a pea, and he says, "I think I am going to be sick." The whore looks up and says, "That's what the last guy said!"
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has 62.22 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, food, health
Doctor (to the patient: "Did I not give you the medicine yesterday? Did you take it?" Patient: "Yes, sir. But I did not drink it." Doctor: "Why?" Patient (Pointing to the bottle): "Because it is written on the label: 'Close the cork tightly and keep it in a cool place.'"
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has 62.22 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: drug, health, life
The newest therapy for healing the states of depression is so-called decapitation. It costs only 100 dollars but 50 dollars pays the health insurance company. The operation will be made only once and you will never feel depressive. I had also luck and I also gave an order to this kind of therapy. I wish well to myself.
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has 62.22 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: health, money
The nose drops „Big smeller" – let´s have a blow-out.
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has 62.22 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: health, medical
There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can't take them off you.
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has 62.19 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: flirt, health, romantic
A study showed the leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer
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has 61.59 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, geography, health
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