The best health jokes

The doctor stood by the bedside of a very sick patient and said, “I cannot hide the fact that your are very ill, my man. Is there any one you would like to see?”. “Yes,” replied the patient faintly, “Another doctor”.
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has 63.17 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: doctor, health, life
I've been taking Viagra for my sunburn. It doesn't cure it but it keeps the bed sheets off my legs at night.
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has 63.12 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: health, viagra
Chuck Norris once gave a man the Hiemlich Manuever. That man still holds the record for most bones broken.
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has 63.00 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, health
People say that time heals all wounds. They obviously never got roundhouse kicked by Chuck Norris
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has 62.88 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, communication, health, time
A study showed the leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer
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has 62.63 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, geography, health
How do you know Charles Sweeney was dyslexic? He wanted to order the flaming saganagi, but he accidentally ordered a flaming Nagasaki.
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has 62.50 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: black humor, celebrity, geography, health, war
Doctor: "Sir, I have some bad news; you have been diagnosed with cancer and Alzheimers." Old man: "Well, at least I don't have cancer!"
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has 62.22 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: health, old people
Doctor (to the patient: "Did I not give you the medicine yesterday? Did you take it?" Patient: "Yes, sir. But I did not drink it." Doctor: "Why?" Patient (Pointing to the bottle): "Because it is written on the label: 'Close the cork tightly and keep it in a cool place.'"
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has 62.22 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: drug, health, life
The newest therapy for healing the states of depression is so-called decapitation. It costs only 100 dollars but 50 dollars pays the health insurance company. The operation will be made only once and you will never feel depressive. I had also luck and I also gave an order to this kind of therapy. I wish well to myself.
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has 62.22 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: health, money
The nose drops „Big smeller" – let´s have a blow-out.
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has 62.22 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: health, medical
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