The best health jokes

My Prediction for the Mayweather Mcgregor fight. It becomes a Handicap Match against Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris ends it with a single roundhouse kick before the bell stops ringing.
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has 50.70 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, health
Deciding to take up jogging, the middle-aged man was astounded by the wide selection of jogging shoes available at the local sports shoe store. While trying on a basic pair of jogging shoe, he noticed a minor feature and asked the clerk about it. “What’s this little pocket thing here on the side for?” “Oh, that’s to carry spare change so you can call your wife to come pick you up when you’ve jogged too far.”
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has 49.93 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: age, health, money, old people, wife
Your moma is so ugly...she could make medicine sick!
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has 49.93 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: health, ugly, Yo mama
A 92-year old woman had a full cardiac arrest at home and was rushed to the hospital. After about thirty minutes of unsuccessful resuscitation attempts the old lady was pronounced dead. The doctor went to tell the lady's 78-year old daughter (who wasn't blonde any longer, but just had to be at one time) that her mother didn't make it. "Didn't make it? Where could they be? She left in the ambulance forty-five minutes ago!" the former blonde asked.
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has 49.93 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: age, blonde, death, health, hospital
Three old men were sitting on a porch. "I wish I could take a healthy piss," said one. "I wish I could take a healthy crap," said another. "I can take a crap at 6 AM and a piss at 11 AM. I just wish I could get up before noon."
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has 49.61 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, health, time
Q: Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused a Novocain injection during root canal treatment? A: He wanted to transcend dental medication!
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has 49.61 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: dentist, health, religious
Chuck Norris never suffers from a heart attack. His heart is too smart to not attack him.
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has 48.78 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, health
Chuck Norris once gave a man the Hiemlich Manuever. That man still holds the record for most bones broken.
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has 48.37 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, health
My dental hygienist is cute. Every time I visit, I eat a whole package of Oreo cookies while waiting in the lobby. Sometimes she has to cancel the rest of the afternoon's appointments.
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has 48.37 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: dentist, food, health
I am into solitude, long walks, sunrises, the ocean, yoga and meditation. If you are the silent type, let’s get together, take our hearing aids out and enjoy quiet times.
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has 48.26 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: health, old people
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