The best health jokes

Teacher: "If you bought 8 hotdogs,9 cheese burgers and 7 fillet o fishes and you ate 8 hotdogs 9 cheese burger and 7 fillet o fish what do you have at the end?" Little Johnny: "A bad blatter issue."
has 48.59 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: fish, food, health, little Johnny, math
Q: Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused a Novocain injection during root canal treatment? A: He wanted to transcend dental medication!
has 48.13 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: dentist, health, religious
A boy with a physical disability has just returned from a summer camp. His mum with an astonished face notices a diploma dancing for 1st place at the bottom of the boy's luggage. Mum: "Jimmy, did you dance with a girl?" Boy: "Nouuu." Mum: "Did you dance with a boy then?" Boy: "No, mum." Mum: "So how did you get it?" Boy: "I went to take some tea."
has 48.13 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: health, stupid
Your moma is so ugly...she could make medicine sick!
has 47.62 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: health, ugly, Yo mama
Q: Who may open the door without using hands, nor legs? A: An invalid.
has 47.62 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: black humor, health
One day, a Sodomite went to his doctor's office to get an HIV blood test. While there, his blood got drawn and he then left. Two weeks later, he was back at his doctor's office in an examination room, waiting for the result of the HIV test. Suddenly, his doctor walks into the examination room and says to the gay guy, "I'm awfully sorry to tell you that the test shows that you're definitely HIV positive." The gay guy then asks the doctor, "So, what needs to be done now, doctor?" The doctor says to the gay dude, "I want you to go home, sit down at your kitchen table and eat 20 hamburgers, 20 hot dogs, 20 pizzas, 20 bags of chips, and 20 gallons of ice cream." The gay then asks his doctor, "How's doing all that gonna help me out with my HIV, doctor?" The doctor then replied, "It's not gonna help you out with your HIV at all but it will definitely teach you what your asshole is really for."
has 47.62 % from 112 votes. More jokes about: dirty, doctor, gay, health, sex
Q: Why was the lesbian sick? A: She was lacking vitamin D.
has 47.49 % from 185 votes. More jokes about: health, lesbian
I am into solitude, long walks, sunrises, the ocean, yoga and meditation. If you are the silent type, let’s get together, take our hearing aids out and enjoy quiet times.
has 47.37 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: health, old people
Q: Why are crippled people always picked on? A: Because they can't stand up for themselves.
has 47.24 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: black people, health, vulgar
Yo' Mama is so stanky, she gets sourdough yeast infections.
has 46.54 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: health, insulting, Yo mama
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