Yo mamma so ugly that her birth certificate came with an apology letter from the condom factory.
Yo mamma is so fat, her husband has to stand up in bed each morning to see if it's daylight.
Yo momma's so fat; she's on both sides of the family!
Yo mama is so fat, the army used her pants for a parachute.
I have a bumper sticker saying, "Honk if you think I'm sexy".
Some days I just stand at a green light till I'm feeling good about myself.
Yo mama so ugly people dress up as her for Halloween!
A parrot was in a pet shop with a string attached to each leg when a man walked in looking to buy a pet.
A shopkeeper came over and started to try and sell him a dog when the man noticed the parrot.
He asked what the strings were for and the shopkeeper replied, "Well, if you pull the right string the parrot says, 'Polly wanna cracker'. If you pull the left string it says, 'my name's Sam'".
The man being of the inquisitive nature tried both and thought it was really neat, but was still curious.
So he asked what would happen if he pulled both strings, the parrot piped up, "I'd fall off the perch you idiot!"
Yo mama so stupid she stuck her face into a book to make a Facebook.
Yo mama is so hairy, Kingkong got jealous.
Yo mama is so fat when she left the room everyone could breathe again.