Yo mamma so ugly that her birth certificate came with an apology letter from the condom factory.
A parrot was in a pet shop with a string attached to each leg when a man walked in looking to buy a pet. A shopkeeper came over and started to try and sell him a dog when the man noticed the parrot. He asked what the strings were for and the shopkeeper replied, "Well, if you pull the right string the parrot says, 'Polly wanna cracker'. If you pull the left string it says, 'my name's Sam'". The man being of the inquisitive nature tried both and thought it was really neat, but was still curious. So he asked what would happen if he pulled both strings, the parrot piped up, "I'd fall off the perch you idiot!"
Your Momma is so fat, she takes her picture with Google Earth.
Yo mamma so old she pre-order the bible.
Yo mama is so fat when she left the room everyone could breathe again.
Yo mama so stupid she stuck her face into a book to make a Facebook.
Yo mamma so fat she broke the stairway to heaven.
You are so old, if you to acted your age, you'd die.
Yo momma so poor that when she farted she said clap your hands stomp your feet praise to the lord we have heat.
Yo' Mama is so fat, the hippos at the zoo get jealous of her figure.