During a lesson little Johnny yawns extremely wide. Teacher tries to make a joke: "Johnny, don't swallow me." He replies: "Don't worry, teacher, I don't eat pork."
Q: Did you hear that the White House isn't displaying it's Nativity scene this year? A: They couldn't find the three wise men!
Yo' Mama is so stupid, she asked if her drug test was multiple choice.
Get bad marks, relatives will insult you. Get good marks, friends will insult you.
Little lad is sitting between his Mum and Dad on the sofa and they are playing a game about what sounds animals say. His Mum says "What does a duck say Tommy?" He says"Quack quack Mummy." His Mum says "Very good Tommy,that's right." She says "What does a dog say?" He says "Woof woof Mummy." She says "Very good." She says "What does a cat say?" He says "Meow meow Mummy." She says "Yes that's right." Tommy says "Let Daddy have a go." His dad says "Ok Tommy,what does a cow say?" The little lad looks confused and his Dad says "Come on Tommy you know what a cow says." Tommy says "Yes I do but do you mean a cow that eats grass and gives us our milk, or the one you where talking to Uncle John about, that said you could'nt go to the Stag show with him?"
Yo mama is so stupid, she was looking for bluetooth at the orthodontist.
Yo mama so fat when she tossed in her sleep she woke up in another time zone.
Yo' Mama is so fat, the hippos at the zoo get jealous of her figure.
Yo mama so nasty that when she goes to the universal studios children follow her shouting "Shrek! Shrek!"
Yo mama so old that when she went to the museum, people thought she was part of an exhibit.