Yo mama so stupid she stuck her face into a book to make a Facebook.
Yo' Mama is so fat, she buys clothes in three sizes: large, extra large, and "Oh my God, it's coming towards us!"
A parrot was in a pet shop with a string attached to each leg when a man walked in looking to buy a pet.
A shopkeeper came over and started to try and sell him a dog when the man noticed the parrot.
He asked what the strings were for and the shopkeeper replied, "Well, if you pull the right string the parrot says, 'Polly wanna cracker'. If you pull the left string it says, 'my name's Sam'".
The man being of the inquisitive nature tried both and thought it was really neat, but was still curious.
So he asked what would happen if he pulled both strings, the parrot piped up, "I'd fall off the perch you idiot!"
Little lad is sitting between his Mum and Dad on the sofa and they are playing a game about what sounds animals say.
His Mum says "What does a duck say Tommy?"
He says"Quack quack Mummy."
His Mum says "Very good Tommy,that's right."
She says "What does a dog say?"
He says "Woof woof Mummy."
She says "Very good."
She says "What does a cat say?"
He says "Meow meow Mummy."
She says "Yes that's right."
Tommy says "Let Daddy have a go."
His dad says "Ok Tommy,what does a cow say?"
The little lad looks confused and his Dad says "Come on Tommy you know what a cow says."
Tommy says "Yes I do but do you mean a cow that eats grass and gives us our milk, or the one you where talking to Uncle John about, that said you could'nt go to the Stag show with him?"
Yo' Mama is so fat, her cereal bowl comes with a lifeguard.
Yo' Mama is so fat, the hippos at the zoo get jealous of her figure.
Your mum is so fat when she sat at the back of the bus it pulled a wheelie.
Yo momma so stupid, she took a spoon to the Super Bowl.
Yo mama so old that when she went to the museum, people thought she was part of an exhibit.
Yo momma so poor that when she farted she said clap your hands stomp your feet praise to the lord we have heat.