The best insulting jokes

"Madam, your son just called me an ugly swine!" The mother apologizes shamefacedly, "I'm so sorry, I must have told him like a thousand times it is wrong to judge people just from how they look..."
Vote: has 77.53 % from 42 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: insulting, kids, ugly, vulgar
Little lad is sitting between his Mum and Dad on the sofa and they are playing a game about what sounds animals say. His Mum says "What does a duck say Tommy?" He says"Quack quack Mummy." His Mum says "Very good Tommy,that's right." She says "What does a dog say?" He says "Woof woof Mummy." She says "Very good." She says "What does a cat say?" He says "Meow meow Mummy." She says "Yes that's right." Tommy says "Let Daddy have a go." His dad says "Ok Tommy,what does a cow say?" The little lad looks confused and his Dad says "Come on Tommy you know what a cow says." Tommy says "Yes I do but do you mean a cow that eats grass and gives us our milk, or the one you where talking to Uncle John about, that said you could'nt go to the Stag show with him?"
Vote: has 77.51 % from 17 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, family, game, insulting
Yo mama is so fat, she needs two Facebook accounts for her profile picture.
Vote: has 77.38 % from 382 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: fat, insulting, Yo mama
"You're single and I'm single too! You know what that means?" "What" "We're both ugly!"
Vote: has 77.37 % from 53 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: insulting, single, ugly
Asians are so bad at driving, I'm starting to think Pearl Harbor was an accident.
Vote: has 77.36 % from 529 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: asian, insulting, racist, travel, war
Yo mamma's so fat that she had to get baptized at seaworld.
Vote: has 77.13 % from 200 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: fat, insulting, Yo mama
Your momma so ugly she gave Freddy Kruger nightmares.
Vote: has 77.03 % from 130 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: insulting, ugly, Yo mama
Yo momma so dumb she threw a ball at the ground and missed.
Vote: has 76.92 % from 407 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: insulting, student, Yo mama
Yo mama is so stupid, when I offered her animal crackers she said no thanks, I'm a vegetarian.
Vote: has 76.70 % from 338 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, insulting, Yo mama
A parrot was in a pet shop with a string attached to each leg when a man walked in looking to buy a pet. A shopkeeper came over and started to try and sell him a dog when the man noticed the parrot. He asked what the strings were for and the shopkeeper replied, "Well, if you pull the right string the parrot says, 'Polly wanna cracker'. If you pull the left string it says, 'my name's Sam'". The man being of the inquisitive nature tried both and thought it was really neat, but was still curious. So he asked what would happen if he pulled both strings, the parrot piped up, "I'd fall off the perch you idiot!"
Vote: has 76.53 % from 72 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, insulting, parrot


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