Bill Gates is hanging out with the chairman of General Motors. "If automotive technology had kept pace with computer technology over the past few decades," boasts Gates, "you would now be driving a V-32 instead of a V-8, and it would have a top speed of 10,000 miles per hour. Or, you could have an economy car that weighs 30 pounds and gets a thousand miles to a gallon of gas. In either case, the sticker price of a new car would be less than $50." "Sure," says the GM chairman. "But would you really want to drive a car that crashes four times a day?"
Q: How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb? A: None, that's a hardware problem.
Where's the best place to hide a body? Page two of Google.
A system administrator has 2 problems: - dumb users - smart users
A female secretary was helping her new boss set up his computer and asked him what word he would like to use as a password to log in with. Wanting to embarrass his new secretary a bit and let her know where they stood, he smugly told her to enter ‘penis.’ Without blinking or saying a word, she entered the password. She then almost died laughing at the computer’s response: PASSWORD REJECTED. NOT LONG ENOUGH!
Hide all of the desktop icons on someone's computer and replace the monitor's wallpaper with a screen-shot of their desktop.
My wifi suddenly stop working then I realized that my neighbors have not paid the bill. How irresponsible people are.
Girls are like Internet Domain names, the ones I like are already taken.
The Internet: where men are men, women are men, and children are the FBI...
I changed my password to "incorrect". So whenever I forget what it is the computer will say "Your password is incorrect".