Q: How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb? A: None, that's a hardware problem.
A system administrator has 2 problems: - dumb users - smart users
There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer. When asked to define "Great" he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!" He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.
If at first you don't succeed, call it version 1.0.
A female secretary was helping her new boss set up his computer and asked him what word he would like to use as a password to log in with. Wanting to embarrass his new secretary a bit and let her know where they stood, he smugly told her to enter ‘penis.’ Without blinking or saying a word, she entered the password. She then almost died laughing at the computer’s response: PASSWORD REJECTED. NOT LONG ENOUGH!
How do two programmers make money? One writes viruses, the other anti-viruses.
The 21st century: Deleting history is more important than making it.
My wifi suddenly stop working then I realized that my neighbors have not paid the bill. How irresponsible people are.
CAPS LOCK – Preventing Login Since 1980.
Algorithm. Word used by programmers when they don't want to explain what they did.