The best IT jokes

There was an engineer, manager and programmer driving down a steep mountain road. The brakes failed and the car careened down the road out of control. Half way down the driver managed to stop the car by running it against the embankment narrowing avoiding going over a cliff. They all got out, shaken by their narrow escape from death, but otherwise unharmed. The manager said "To fix this problem we need to organize a committee, have meetings, and through a process of continuous improvement, develop a solution." The engineer said "No that would take too long, and besides that method never worked before. I have my trusty pen knife here and will take apart the brake system, isolate the problem and correct it." The programmer said "I think you're both wrong! I think we should all push the car back up the hill and see if it happens again."
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has 81.30 % from 161 votes. More jokes about: car, death, IT, programmer
1998: Don't get in the car with strangers. 2008: Don't meet people from the internet. 2018: Order yourself a stranger to get in the car with from the internet. (Uber)
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has 81.28 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: IT, time
One day, a Mechanical Engineer, Electrical Engineer, Chemical Engineer and Computer Engineer were driving down the street in the same car. All of a sudden, the car broke down. The Mechanical Engineer said, "I think a rod broke." The Chemical Engineer said, "The way it sputtered at the end, I don't think it's getting gas." The Electrical Engineer said, "I think there was a spark and something is wrong with the electrical system." All three turned to the computer engineer and said, "What do you think?" The Computer Engineer said, "I think we should all get out and get back in."
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has 81.21 % from 78 votes. More jokes about: car, computer, IT, science
Customer: “I can’t seem to connect to the Internet.” Tech Support: “Ah, right. What operating system are you running?” Customer: “Netscape.” Tech Support: “No, what version of Windows are you using?” Customer: “Uhhh…Hewlett Packard?” Tech Support: “No, Right click on ‘My Computer,’ and select properties on the menu.” Customer: “Your computer? It’s my computer!”
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has 81.13 % from 196 votes. More jokes about: computer, IT
CAPS LOCK – Preventing Login Since 1980.
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has 80.88 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: computer, geek, IT, time
Error, no keyboard. Press F1 to continue.
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has 80.87 % from 211 votes. More jokes about: IT
Me: Siri, why am I alone? Siri: *opens front facing camera*
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has 80.73 % from 95 votes. More jokes about: IT, phone
Hide all of the desktop icons on someone's computer and replace the monitor's wallpaper with a screen-shot of their desktop.
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has 80.73 % from 138 votes. More jokes about: April fools, computer, IT
Google+ is the gym of social networking. We all join, but nobody actually uses it.
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has 80.27 % from 587 votes. More jokes about: Facebook, gym, IT
At a recent software engineering management course in the US, the participants were given an awkward question to answer. ‘If you had just boarded an airliner and discovered that your team of programmers had been responsible for the flight control software, how many of you would disembark immediately?’ Among the forest of raised hands, only one man sat motionless. When asked what he would do, he replied that he would be quite content to stay onboard. With his team’s software, he said, the plane was unlikely to even taxi as far as the runway, let alone take off.
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has 80.05 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: IT, management
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