The best IT jokes

I'm not anti-social. I'm just not user friendly.
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has 83.02 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: IT
Programmer. A person who fixed a problem that you don't know you have, in a way you don't understand.
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has 82.83 % from 93 votes. More jokes about: coding, computer, geek, IT, programmer
To the optimist, the glass is half-full. To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty. To the IT professional, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
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has 82.56 % from 322 votes. More jokes about: IT, programmer
My attitude isn't bad. It's in beta.
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has 82.31 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: geek, IT
I changed my password to "incorrect". So whenever I forget what it is the computer will say "Your password is incorrect".
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has 81.79 % from 417 votes. More jokes about: IT
How do two programmers make money? One writes viruses, the other anti-viruses.
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has 81.76 % from 234 votes. More jokes about: coding, IT, money, programmer
Daddy, how was I born? Ah, very well, one day you need to find out anyway! Mom and Dad got together in a chat room. Dad set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber cafe. We snuck into a secluded room, and then your mother downloaded from your dad's memory stick. As soon as dad was ready for an upload, it was discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall. Since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later the blessed virus appeared. And that's the story.
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has 81.53 % from 470 votes. More jokes about: family, geek, IT, kids
A man goes inside a pet shop and starts to move around the cages to scout the pets. He sees a monkey with a price of 5000$ and goes to the merchant to ask for details. Hey mister, the monkey…what does it know to worth that much money? Well, it knows Windows 95, 98, 2000, and also knows Word, C++, Visual Basic and last but not least, it knows how to play computer games. - Good monkey, it's worth the money. He goes and finds another monkey with a price of 10000$ and again he will ask the merchant. "What does this monkey know?" "It knows Linux, Unix, Corel and Autocad." "Nice, even I don't know those things." On a last scout run he finds another monkey just sitting there with a price 20000$. The story repeats, and he goes with a lack of confidence to ask the merchant for details. "And what does this monkey do for that ridiculous amount of money?" "I never saw her doing anything, but the other two call her Project Manager!"
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has 81.43 % from 296 votes. More jokes about: animal, IT, management, money, programmer
Error, no keyboard. Press F1 to continue.
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has 81.37 % from 223 votes. More jokes about: IT
Two geeks are talking over lunch. The first guy says, "You wouldn't believe what happened this morning. A girl rode up to me on her bike, took off all her clothes, and said 'Take whatever you want!' … So I took the bike" The second guy says, "Good choice, her clothes probably wouldn't have fit you."
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has 81.34 % from 149 votes. More jokes about: geek, IT
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