The best IT jokes

Me: Siri, why am I alone? Siri: *opens front facing camera*
Vote: has 78.75 % from 80 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: IT, phone
Q: Why did the programmer quit his job? A: Because he didn't get arrays.
Vote: has 78.59 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: IT, money, programmer, work
A customer comes into the computer store. I'm looking for a mystery Adventure Game with lots of graphics. You know, something really challenging." "Well," replied the clerk, "Have you tried Vista?"
Vote: has 78.45 % from 139 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: computer, customer service, game, IT
A Help desk guy speaking to a lady user... Help desk: Double click on "My Computer". Lady: I can't see your computer... Help desk: No... click on "My Computer" on your computer. Lady: How the hell can I click on your computer from my computer?! Help desk: There is an icon labelled "My Computer" on your computer... double click on it... Lady: What the hell is your computer doing on my computer?
Vote: has 78.44 % from 101 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: computer, customer service, IT
At a recent software engineering management course in the US, the participants were given an awkward question to answer. ‘If you had just boarded an airliner and discovered that your team of programmers had been responsible for the flight control software, how many of you would disembark immediately?’ Among the forest of raised hands, only one man sat motionless. When asked what he would do, he replied that he would be quite content to stay onboard. With his team’s software, he said, the plane was unlikely to even taxi as far as the runway, let alone take off.
Vote: has 78.22 % from 61 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: IT, management
I'm not anti-social. I'm just not user friendly.
Vote: has 78.06 % from 49 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: IT
Bill Gates is at the beach when he discovers a bottle, he opens it and a Genie appears. The Genie says, "I have been trapped for 1000 years. As a reward you can make a wish." Gates thinks about it as he carries the bottle back to his beach cottage. Once there, he goes to a bookshelf, pulls out an atlas and turns to a map of the Middle East. This area has seen conflict and suffering for hundreds of years. What I wish for is peace in the Middle East. The Genie replies, "I don't know I can do a lot, but this? Don't you have another wish?" Bill Gates thinks and finally says, OK. The whole world hates Microsoft because we have conquered the software market and because Windows still crashes. I wish you would make everybody love us. The Genie says, "Let me see that map again."
Vote: has 77.92 % from 125 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: genie, IT
Once upon a time, a computer programmer drowned at sea. Many were on the beach and heard him cry out, “F1! F1!”, but no one understood.
Vote: has 77.88 % from 130 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: computer, IT, programmer
An artist, a lawyer, and a programmer are discussing the merits of a mistress. The artist tells of the passion, the thrill which comes with the risk of being discovered. The lawyer warns of the difficulties. It can lead to guilt, divorce and bankruptcy. The programmer says, ‘It’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me. My wife thinks I’m with my mistress. My mistress thinks I’m home with my wife, and I can spend all night on the computer!’
Vote: has 77.74 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: IT
Q: Which Bible character had no parents? A: Joshua, son of Nun (Joshua 1:1).
Vote: has 77.74 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: bible, family, geek, IT