The best jewish jokes

A Jewish grandmother is giving directions to her grown grandson who is coming to visit with his wife. "You come to the front door of the apartments. I am in apartment 301. There is a big panel at the front door. With your elbow, push button 301. I buzz you in. Come inside and elevator is on the right. Get in, and with your elbow, push 3rd Floor. When you get out, I'm on the left. With your elbow, hit my doorbell. OK?" "Grandma, that sounds easy, but, why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow? "What... You're coming empty handed?"
Vote: has 75.38 % from 38 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: family, jewish, mean
How do you start a Jewish parade? Throw a penny down main street.
Vote: has 72.95 % from 118 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: jewish, money, racist
A Jewish man walks into a bar and sits down. He has a few drinks, then he sees a Chinese man and punches him in the face. "Owch!" the Chinese man says. "What was that for?" "That was for Pearl Harbor," the Jewish man says. "But I'm Chinese!" "Chinese, Japanese, what's the difference?" And the Jewish man sits back down. Then, the Chinese man walks up to the Jewish man and punches him in the face. "Ouch!" the Jewish man says. "What was that for?" "That was for the Titanic," the Chinese man says. "But that was an iceberg!" "Ice berg, Goldberg, what's the difference?"
Vote: has 72.83 % from 92 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, bar, jewish, racist
How do you tell when time is reversing? When a Jew drops a coin on the ground.
Vote: has 71.20 % from 134 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: jewish, money, racist
Guy gets pulled over in his car by a pair of dudes in balaclavas, pointing guns in his face. Terrorist (menacing voice): "Are you a Catholic or a Protestant?" Driver, panicking, doesn't know which answer will save his life, has a bright idea. Driver: "Neither, actually. In fact I'm Jewish." Terrorist shouts to other terrorist: "Fucking hell Abdul, we've got one at last!"
Vote: has 69.06 % from 65 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, jewish, life, religious, terrorist
Q: What is a Jews biggest dilemma? A: Free Pork.
Vote: has 67.36 % from 212 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: jewish, racist
An old Jewish man gets on the subway in New York and sees a priest. He notices the white collar, and decides to ask what it’s about. "Why do you wear your collar backwards?" The old Jewish man asks. The Priest, being polite, responds, "Well, Sir, because I’m a father." "I am a father too, but I wear my collar normal." "Yes," the Priest begins, "but I am father of many." The old Jewish man shakes his head. "I have 8 children, and so many grandchildren I don’t know most their names, and still my collar isn’t backwards." The priest, aggitated, slams his fist in his palm "Sir! I am the father of hundreds!" The elderly Jewish man, beweildered, stands to get off the subway, and leans over to the priest "Mister, maybe you should start wearing your pants backwards."
Vote: has 67.19 % from 61 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, jewish, kids, priest, racist
A young Jewish Mom walks her son to the school bus corner on his first day of kindergarten. "Behave, my bubaleh," she says. "Take good care of yourself and think about your Mother, tataleh!" "And come right back home on the bus, schein kindaleh." "Your Mommy loves you a lot, my ketsaleh!" At the end of the school day the bus comes back and she runs to her son and hugs him. "So what did my pupaleh learn on his first day of school?" The boy answers, "I learned my name is David."
Vote: has 66.96 % from 92 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: jewish, racist, school
Q: How do you get a Jew to win a race? A: Drop a quarter at the finish line.
Vote: has 66.77 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, jewish
Q: What do you call a flying Jew? A: Ashes.
Vote: has 65.86 % from 48 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, death, jewish