The best jewish jokes

Elderly Man: "Father, during the war I allowed a Jewish refugee to live in my attic." Priest: "I do not see anything wrong with that. You helped a poor soul survive the war." Elderly Man: "I collected rent from him for every month that he stayed." Priest: "That's not a good thing you did, but it was for a good cause. You helped him survive." Elderly Man: "Should I tell him the war is over?"
Vote: has 74.97 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: history, jewish, old people, priest, war
A Jewish man walks into a bar and sits down. He has a few drinks, then he sees a Chinese man and punches him in the face. "Owch!" the Chinese man says. "What was that for?" "That was for Pearl Harbor," the Jewish man says. "But I'm Chinese!" "Chinese, Japanese, what's the difference?" And the Jewish man sits back down. Then, the Chinese man walks up to the Jewish man and punches him in the face. "Ouch!" the Jewish man says. "What was that for?" "That was for the Titanic," the Chinese man says. "But that was an iceberg!" "Ice berg, Goldberg, what's the difference?"
Vote: has 74.51 % from 103 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, bar, jewish, racist
How do you start a Jewish parade? Throw a penny down main street.
Vote: has 73.27 % from 128 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: jewish, money, racist
How do you tell when time is reversing? When a Jew drops a coin on the ground.
Vote: has 71.43 % from 143 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: jewish, money, racist
Q: Why is it good to have a Jewish car? A: It can stop on a dime, and pick it up for you too!
Vote: has 70.18 % from 35 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, jewish, life
Guy gets pulled over in his car by a pair of dudes in balaclavas, pointing guns in his face. Terrorist (menacing voice): "Are you a Catholic or a Protestant?" Driver, panicking, doesn't know which answer will save his life, has a bright idea. Driver: "Neither, actually. In fact I'm Jewish." Terrorist shouts to other terrorist: "Fucking hell Abdul, we've got one at last!"
Vote: has 69.99 % from 75 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, jewish, life, religious, terrorist
Q: What is a Jews biggest dilemma? A: Free Pork.
Vote: has 68.36 % from 219 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: jewish, racist
A young Jewish Mom walks her son to the school bus corner on his first day of kindergarten. "Behave, my bubaleh," she says. "Take good care of yourself and think about your Mother, tataleh!" "And come right back home on the bus, schein kindaleh." "Your Mommy loves you a lot, my ketsaleh!" At the end of the school day the bus comes back and she runs to her son and hugs him. "So what did my pupaleh learn on his first day of school?" The boy answers, "I learned my name is David."
Vote: has 67.94 % from 95 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: jewish, racist, school
Q: What do you call a flying Jew? A: Ashes.
Vote: has 67.85 % from 55 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, death, jewish
Who's the most famous Jewish cook in history? Hitler.
Vote: has 67.85 % from 154 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, history, Hitler, jewish