Q: How do you get a Jew to win a race? A: Drop a quarter at the finish line.
One day Kermit the Frog was looking sad. Fozzie Bear went up to him and asked what was wrong. Kermit said, "I'm having problems with Miss Piggy." "Like what?" asked Fozzie. "Well, Piggy wants me to eat her out and I can't." Fozzie asked, "So, what's wrong with that? You're not a prude or anything." "No," sighed Kermit, "but I am a Jew."
A Jewish guy got in a taxi cab...5 min into a ride the driver notice a man beating up a woman on the other side of the street. The driver rush to the scene. He open the door ran out as soon as he did that the Jewish guy roll down his window as fast as he can and shouted, "Stop it, stop it, stop the meter."
What is the difference between Harry Potter and a jew? Harry Potter escaped the chamber.
Whats the difference between a jew camp and a summer camp? The kids come back.
How do you get a Jewish girl's number? You pull up her sleeve.
Q: How many jews can you fit in a VW Beetle? A: 54, two in the front, two in the back, and fifty in the ashtray.
Two rabbis prepare to wash the cadaver of a recently deceased before burying him, according to a Jewish tradition. The deceased possessed a tremendous sexual organ. Aaron, you see what I am seeing? Yes Jacob, I see it... it is as mine. That long? No, that dead.
Whats the difference between a pizza and a jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.
What was so bad about being a black Jew? You had to sit in the back of the oven.