The best jewish jokes

Who's the most famous Jewish cook in history? Hitler.
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Q: What do you call a flying Jew? A: Ashes.
Vote: has 66.21 % from 66 votes. Send joke:

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Q: Why did Hitler kill himself? A: He saw his gas bill.
Vote: has 66.10 % from 34 votes. Send joke:

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Q: What's the difference between a Catholic wife and a Jewish wife? A: A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewelry.
Vote: has 66.09 % from 178 votes. Send joke:

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The real reason Hitler killed himself is because he found out that Chuck Norris is Jewish.
Vote: has 64.73 % from 105 votes. Send joke:

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A guy goes into a store and tells the clerk, "I’d like some Polish sausage." The clerk looks at him and says, "Are you Polish?" The guy, clearly offended, says, “"Well, yes I am. But let me ask you something. If I had asked for Italian sausage would you ask me if I was Italian? Or if I had asked for German bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German? Or if I asked for a kosher hot dog would you ask me if I was Jewish? Or if I had asked for a taco would you ask if I was Mexican? Would ya, huh? Would ya?" The clerk says, "Well, no." With deep self-righteous ndignation, the guy says, "Well, all right then, why did you ask me if I’m Polish just because I ask for Polish sausage?" The clerk replies, "Because this is Home Depot."
Vote: has 64.73 % from 89 votes. Send joke:

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Q: What do the Jews hate most about the Holocaust? A: The cost.
Vote: has 64.52 % from 46 votes. Send joke:

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Q: How do you get a Jew to win a race? A: Drop a quarter at the finish line.
Vote: has 64.05 % from 42 votes. Send joke:

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An old Jewish man gets on the subway in New York and sees a priest. He notices the white collar, and decides to ask what it’s about. "Why do you wear your collar backwards?" The old Jewish man asks. The Priest, being polite, responds, "Well, Sir, because I’m a father." "I am a father too, but I wear my collar normal." "Yes," the Priest begins, "but I am father of many." The old Jewish man shakes his head. "I have 8 children, and so many grandchildren I don’t know most their names, and still my collar isn’t backwards." The priest, aggitated, slams his fist in his palm "Sir! I am the father of hundreds!" The elderly Jewish man, beweildered, stands to get off the subway, and leans over to the priest "Mister, maybe you should start wearing your pants backwards."
Vote: has 63.49 % from 67 votes. Send joke:

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A young fellow went to a Jewish Doctor and told the doctor he was worried because he could not get an erection. Whereupon the doctor told him to eat Jewish Rye Bread. So on his way home, the young man stopped a Jewish Bakery and asked for 25 Loaves of Rye Bread. The Baker said "25 Loaves? It will get hard before you get rid of it." Whereupon the patient in excitement said "Give me 50 loaves."
Vote: has 63.00 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

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