The best jewish jokes

Who's the most famous Jewish cook in history? Hitler.
Vote: has 65.16 % from 116 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, history, Hitler, jewish
Q: What's the difference between a Catholic wife and a Jewish wife? A: A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewelry.
Vote: has 64.79 % from 168 votes. Send joke:

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An elderly rabbi was once on an airplane to Israel sitting next to a self-professed atheist. They were amicably chatting the whole trip. Every now and then, the rabbi's grandchild, sitting in another row, would come over to him, bringing him a drink, or asking if he could get anything to make him more comfortable. After this happened several times, the atheist sighed, "I wish my grandchildren would treat me with such respect. They hardly even say hello to me. What's your secret?" The rabbi replied: "Think about it. To my grandchildren, I am two generations closer to Adam and Eve, the two individuals made by the hand of G‑d. So they look up to me. But according to the philosophy which you teach your grandchildren, you are two generations closer to being an ape. So why should they look up to you?"
Vote: has 64.76 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: airplane, god, jewish, religious, travel
Q: What do you call a flying Jew? A: Ashes.
Vote: has 64.72 % from 36 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, death, jewish
Q: How do you get a Jew to win a race? A: Drop a quarter at the finish line.
Vote: has 63.66 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, jewish
The whole idea of Jesus dying to pay for our sins is bullshit. Jews don't pay for anything.
Vote: has 63.22 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: christian, death, jewish, mean
Hitler: I asked for a glass of juice, not gas the Jews!
Vote: has 61.28 % from 95 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, Hitler, jewish
An old Jewish beggar was out on the street, begging with his tin cup. A man passed by and the beggar said to the man, "Sir, could you spare 3 cents for a cup of coffee?" And the man said, "Where do get coffee for 3 cents?" And the beggar said, "Who buys retail?"
Vote: has 60.56 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, jewish, money
A Jewish guy got in a taxi cab...5 min into a ride the driver notice a man beating up a woman on the other side of the street. The driver rush to the scene. He open the door ran out as soon as he did that the Jewish guy roll down his window as fast as he can and shouted, "Stop it, stop it, stop the meter."
Vote: has 60.15 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: jewish, life, women
Q: Why do old Jews have outhouses? A: Because their afraid of the showers.
Vote: has 59.75 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, jewish