One day Kermit the Frog was looking sad. Fozzie Bear went up to him and asked what was wrong. Kermit said, "I'm having problems with Miss Piggy." "Like what?" asked Fozzie. "Well, Piggy wants me to eat her out and I can't." Fozzie asked, "So, what's wrong with that? You're not a prude or anything." "No," sighed Kermit, "but I am a Jew."
How do you get a Jewish girl's number? You pull up her sleeve.
Q: Why do old Jews have outhouses? A: Because their afraid of the showers.
Q: How many jews can you fit in a VW Beetle? A: 54, two in the front, two in the back, and fifty in the ashtray.
Q: How do you fit 100 Jews in a car? A: Three in the back, two in the front and the rest in the ashtray.
A Jewish guy got in a taxi cab...5 min into a ride the driver notice a man beating up a woman on the other side of the street. The driver rush to the scene. He open the door ran out as soon as he did that the Jewish guy roll down his window as fast as he can and shouted, "Stop it, stop it, stop the meter."
Q: What's the difference between a bullet and a Jew? A: A bullet actually comes out of its chamber.
How to tell who is Jewish in your class, drop a penny and see who gets their first.
Q: What was so bad about being a black Jew? A: You had to sit in the back of the oven.
Whats the difference between a jew camp and a summer camp? The kids come back.