Joke #4598

How is cat food sold? Usually purr can!
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has 39.90 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: animal

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In Noah’s ark, on day 3 the animals could no longer hold their sexual desire, so they started having sex with one another. But Noah got really angry cause the Ark started shaking dangerously and he decided that it was time to put things in order. So he ordered that every male should get a card stating the name of his wife and the days they were allowed to mate. So they did… After a couple of days, during breakfast in the Ark’s cafeteria the monkey said to his wife: "You’ d better get ready ‘cause next Tuesday you’ll suffer cruelly!" The female monkey felt really ashamed because all of the animals heard her husband… The day after, the male monkey said to his wife again: "You’ d better get ready ‘cause next Tuesday you’ll suffer cruelly!" The female monkey feeling really confused, told Noah what had happened, so Noah called the male monkey in his office and asked for an explanation. “You kinky monkey! Why do you insist on disgracing your wife in front of all the other animals?” said Noah “I am not kinky sir”, said the monkey “I’m just warning her because I lost my card at a poker game and now the elephant has it…”
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has 75.34 % from 185 votes. More jokes about: animal, elephant, sex, wife
A stallion and a mare where due to get married, but the stallion didn't show up at the church. He got colt feet.
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has 50.70 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal, church
When Chuck Norris wants salmon he eats the bear too.
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has 49.30 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
How do rabbits get to work? By rabbit transit.
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal, work
Q. What’s got 4 legs and bleeds? A. Half a spider!
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has 44.92 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal
Why did the chicken cross the road? So he can make you curious.
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has 19.47 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: animal
Did you hear about the horse that has made a dozen films? He's not a star though, he just does bit parts!
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has 56.77 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal
A computer programmer happens across a frog in the road. The frog pipes up, "I'm really a beautiful princess and if you kiss me, I'll stay with you for a week". The programmer shrugs his shoulders and puts the frog in his pocket. A few minutes later, the frog says "OK, OK, if you kiss me, I'll give you great sex for a week". The programmer nods and puts the frog back in his pocket. A few minutes later, "Turn me back into a princess and I'll give you great sex for a whole year!" The programmer smiles and walks on. Finally, the frog says, "What's wrong with you? I've promised you great sex for a year from a beautiful princess and you won't even kiss a frog?" "I'm a programmer," he replies. "I don't have time for sex.But a talking frog is pretty neat."
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has 64.80 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: animal, computer, IT, programmer
Teacher: "Name five things that contain milk." Pupil: "Butter, cheese, ice cream … and two cows."
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has 52.18 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, teacher
Chuch Norris stood next to a bear and was told he had to leave because the bear was scared.
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has 39.94 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris