How is cat food sold?
Usually purr can!
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The cowboy was trying to buy a health insurance policy.
The insurance agent was going down the list of standard questions.
"Ever have an accident?"
"Nope, nary a one."
"None? You've never had any accidents."
"Nope. Ain't had one. Never."
"Well, you said in this form you were bitten by a snake once. Wouldn't you consider that an accident?"
"Heck, no. That dang varmint bit me on purpose."
Camper: "Look at that bunch of cows."
Farmer: "Not bunch, herd."
Camper: "Heard what?"
Farmer: "Of cows."
Camper: "Sure I've heard of cows."
Farmer: "No, I mean a cowherd."
Camper: "So what? I have no secrets from cows."
Question: What’s the difference between a woman with PMS and a pit bull?
Answer: Lipstick.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo and sheep?
A wooly jumper.
A skunk family had two little skunks they called In and Out.
One day little In disappeared. Mother Skunk, Father Skunk and young Out spent hours looking for him, getting more worried all the time.
In the end the parents went home to have a cup of tea, but Out said he d continue searching for a while.
Half an hour later he returned home, with a tired In following behind him.
"However did you find him?" asked Father Skunk.
"In-stinct," replied Out.
Why did the moron give the sleepy cow a hammer?
He wanted her to hit the hay!
Chuck Norris once wrestled a thirty foot snake, and then he realized he was just masturbating.
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I hope to be the kind of person my dog thinks I am.
Q: Why doesn't Tigger have any friends?
A: He plays with Pooh.
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