Joke #6999

Two deer walk out of a gay bar, one turns to the other and says, "I can't believe I blew twenty bucks in there..."
Vote: has 56.84 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef. What do you call a dog with no legs? You don't because it won't come.
Vote: has 29.98 % from 27 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, dog, food
A guy is reading his paper when his wife walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head with a frying pan. He asks, "What was that for?" She says, "I found a piece of paper in your pocket with Betty Sue written on it." He says, "Jeez, honey, remember last week when I went to the track? Betty Sue was the name of the horse I went there to bet on." She shrugs and walks away. Three days later he is reading his paper when she walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head again with the frying pan. He asks, "What was that for?" She answers, "Your horse called."
Vote: has 63.62 % from 603 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, marriage, wife
What’s the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead black person in the road? There’s skid marks in front of the skunk.
Vote: has 56.95 % from 196 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, black people, death
There once was a baby elephant and a baby turtle drinking from a river deep in the jungle. For no reason, the turtle reaches over and bites the elephant's tail, really hard. Years and years later, the same elephant, now grown up, is by the same river, having a drink with his giraffe buddy, when the same turtle that bit him on the tail all those years ago wanders up to the river. The elephant rears back a leg and kicks the turtle as hard as he can, sending him flying way off into the jungle. "Why did you do that?" the giraffe asks. "When we both were babies, that turtle bit my tail for no reason," the elephant replied. "Wow! You must have a good memory!" exclaimed the giraffe. "Yep!" said the elephant. "I've got Turtle-Recall."
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, baby, elephant, time
Q: What did the seal say when found nuts in the sea? A: "Look I found deep nuts."
Vote: has 41.84 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, communication, dirty
A cat died and went to Heaven. God met her at the Pearly Gates, petted her on the head and said, "You have been a good cat for these 40 years. Anything that you want is yours for the asking." The cat thought for a minute and replied, "All my life I have lived on a farm and slept on hard wooden floors. I would like a real fluffy pillow to sleep on." God said, "Say no more." Instantly the cat had a huge, fluffy pillow. A few days later, six mice were killed in an accident, and they all went to heaven together. God met them at the gates of Heaven with the same offer He made to the cat. The mice said, "Well, all our lives we've had to run from dogs, cats and even people with brooms. If we could just have some little roller skates, we'd never have to run again." God said, "It is done!" All the mice had beautiful little roller skates. About a week later, God decided to check on the cat. He found her sound asleep on her fluffy pillow. God gently awakened the cat and asked, "Is everything okay? How you been doing? Are you happy?" The cat replied, "Oh, I've never been so happy in my life! My pillow is so fluffy, and those little meals-on-wheels you've been sending over here are delicious!"
Vote: has 57.23 % from 59 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, death, god, heaven, life
What has four legs and goes, "Oom! Oom!"? A cow walking backwards.
Vote: has 48.26 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
Q: What is worst than raining black cats and bloodhounds? A: Hailing taxi cabs!
Vote: has 64.88 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, cat
Why couldn't the skunk use her phone? It was out of odor!
Vote: has 19.47 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
Why did the rabbit have trouble hopping? Because he always kept one foot in his pocket for good luck.
Vote: has 60.16 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal