Why did Bossy slug Roy Rogers?
She heard he was a cowpuncher-
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I threw a ball for my dog...
It's a bit extravagant I know, but it was his birthday and he looks great in a dinner jacket.
Spider: Why are you terrified by me?
Me: Well the reasons I had have all now been replaced by the fact you can talk.
There was a hysterical call at the fire department, and it went like this: "Help me, please help me! There is a cat meowing and yowling with frequency and urgency. It is going to hurt me, it's going to kill me, can you please help me, and send the fire squad right away?"
"Take it easy, cats don’t hurt us, just relax wait until he leaves."
"You don’t understand it is going to bite me, it is going to kill me, it is going to be fatal!"
"Cats aren’t like snakes or spiders that are poisonous, by the way who is calling?"
"I’m Josephine’s parrot you jerk!"
"Help me please, please help!"
Yo mama so ugly that when she delivered a little baby after birth the baby saw mum and screamed "It's a gorilla!".
Q: What do you get if you mix a rabbit and a snake?
A: A jump rope!
When Chuck Norris was a baby he didnt have teddy bears.
He had real bears.
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What is the difference between an pilot and a pig?
The pig doesn't turn into a pilot when it's drunk.
Q: Where do birds meet for coffee?
A: In a nest-cafe!
Thousands of years ago cats were worshipped as gods.
Cats have never forgotten this.