Why did Bossy slug Roy Rogers?
She heard he was a cowpuncher-
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A circus owner walked into a bar to see everyone crowded about a table watching a little show.
On the table was an upside down pot and a duck tap dancing on it.
The circus owner was so impressed that he offered to buy the duck from its owner.
After some wheeling and dealing, they settled for $10,000 for the duck and the pot.
Three days later the circus owner runs back to the bar in anger, "Your duck is a ripoff!
I put him on the pot before a whole audience, and he didn't dance a single step!"
"What!?" asked the duck's former owner, "did you remember to light the candle under the pot?"
I heard my tire thumping, I thought it was flat.
When I looked at my tire I discovered your cat.
Sorry...
When is a farmer like a magician?
When he turns his cow into pasture.
What did the judge say when the skunk was on trial?
Odour in court.
What band is a cow favorite?
Moody Blues.
Why do polo bears like bald men?
Because they have a great, white, bear place.
How do you know when a crab is drunk?
It walks forwards.
Why is it that if you give a child an encyclopedia, lawyer is always the third thing they look up?
Because the first thing a child looks up is dog.
The second is snake.
And under snake, the encyclopedia says See Lawyer.
What do you call a frog with no legs?
It doesn't matter- he won't come anyway.