A snail and a slug got in a crash. When the police, ambulances and news reporters arrived, a reporter asked a tortoise what happened. He replied: "I don't know, it all happened so fast!"
How much do I owe Yo' Mama? My dog came home happy last night.
The judge: Why did you shoot the rabbit without being a member of the hunters association? The inculpated: Why did the rabbit eat cabbage from my garden, without being a family member?
How do you start a teddy bear race? Ready, teddy, go.
How are skunks able to avoid danger? By using their instinks and common scents.
Mom and Dad were trying to console Susie, whose dog, Skipper, had recently died. "You know," Mom said, "it's not so bad. Skipper's probably up in Heaven right now, having a grand old time with God." Susie stopped crying and asked, "What would God want with a dead dog?"
Q: What is a black cat's favorite color? A: Purrrrrr-ple!
A worm gets out from cherry compote and, after he stretches a little, says satisfied: I love sauna!
How can you tell a rabbit from a skunk? A skunk uses a cheaper deodorant.
Teacher: Give me an example of animal. Jimmy: Frog Teacher: Give me another. Jimmy: Another Frog.
Chuck Norris' dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck Norris will not take shit from anyone.