Joke #3371

Q. How do rednecks have safe sex? A. They mark the sheep that kick!
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A man was robbing a house in the middle of the night. All of a sudden, he heard a parrot cry out. "Jesus is gonna get you." The robber ignored it, and takes the TV. Again, the parrot cries out. "Jesus is gonna get you." The robber started to get a little worried. "What's your name, birdie?" "Moses." "What dumbass named you Moses?" "The same dumbass who called his rottweiler Jesus."
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What's a moo hoo for a cattle dinner? Cow chow.
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How come sharks don’t attack lawyers? From professional courtesy.
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What has four legs and goes, "Oom! Oom!"? A cow walking backwards.
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Animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.
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Koala: What do you mean, I'm not a bear? I have all the koalafications. Elephant: Your koalafications are completely irrelephant. Lion: Don't listen to him! He's lion! Bear: This arguing is becoming unbearable!
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What's a moo hoo for a tug-of-war between two longhorns? A bull pull.
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Why was the man sued by his horse? For palomino-money!
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How much do I owe Yo' Mama? My dog came home happy last night.
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You know Chuck Norris' pet lizard, right? Last I heard, he was in the movie "Godzilla". Oh, and his pet turtle starred in "Gamera" as well.
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More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris