Joke #3371

Q. How do rednecks have safe sex? A. They mark the sheep that kick!
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has 24.92 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: animal

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Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked a tadpole and turned it into a frog, then he kicked it again and it died.
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Chuck norris can eat chicken tonight tomorow.
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Make the world your playground. Whenever you miss the sandbox, cover it up. Dragging a sock over it helps. If you can't get your way, lay across the keyboard till you do. When you are hungry, meow loudly so they feed you just to shut you up. Always find a good patch of sun to nap in. Nap often. When in trouble, just purr and look cute. Life is hard, and then you nap. Curiosity never killed anything except maybe a few hours. Variety is the spice of life. One day, ignore people; the next day, annoy them, and play with them when they're busy. Climb your way to the top, that's why the curtains are there. Make your mark in the world, or at least spray in each corner. Always give generously; a bird or rodent left on the bed tells them, "I care".
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What lives in the ocean, is grouchy and hates neighbours? A hermit crab.
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Q. Why did the tiger loose at poker? A. Because he was playing with a cheetah.
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Yo' Mama is so ugly, when I walked past your fence, she came out barking.
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A police officer sees a man driving around with a pickup truck full of penguins. He pulls the guy over and says: “You can’t drive around with penguins in this town! Take them to the zoo immediately.” The guy says OK, and drives away. The next day, the officer sees the guy still driving around with the truck full of penguins, and they’re all wearing sun glasses. He pulls the guy over and demands: “I thought I told you to take these penguins to the zoo yesterday?” The guy replies: “I did . . . today I’m taking them to the beach!”
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What is a chameleon's motto? A change is as good as a rest.
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What purrs along the road and leaves holes in the lawn? A Moles Royce.
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Kangaroo 911: "What's your emergency?" Kangaroo: "I can't find my children" Kangaroo 911: "Did you check your pockets?" Kangaroo: "Oh nevermind."
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has 56.05 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: animal, customer service, kids