Why do cows like being told joke?
Because they like being amoosed.
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Chuck Norris can make a turtle go faster.
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What did one slug say to another who had hit him and rushed off?
I ll get you next slime.
A blind man with an assistance dog was getting ready to cross the street.
When the dog took him across he almost got ran over by the traffic and the cars where sliding everywhere to avoid hitting him.
When he got to the other side, he took out a treat to give to the dog.
A spectator who saw what happened couldn't believe his eyes.
He ran over to the blind man and said, "Sir, why are you rewarding that dog, he almost got you killed?"
The blind man replied, "I'm trying to find his head so I can kick his ass!"
What do cows do when they re introduced?
They give each other a milk shake.
A man takes his hamster to the vet, and after a short look at the creature the vet pronounces it dead.
Not happy with the vet's diagnosis the man asks for a second opinion.
The vet gives a whistle and in strolls a Labrador dog.
The dog nudges the hamster around with its nose and sniffs it a couple of times before shaking his head.
"There" says the vet," Your hamster is dead".
Still not happy the man asks for a third opinion.
The vet opens the back door and in bounds a cat.
The cat jumps onto the table and looks the hamster up and down for a few minutes before looking up and shaking it's head.
"It's definitely dead sir", says the vet.
Convinced, the man enquires how much he owes.
"That will be L1000, please".
"A L1000 just to tell me my hamster is dead" fumes the man.
"Well", says the vet, "There's my diagnosis, the lab report and the cat scan".
Why did the frog cross the street?
Because the chicken crossed the road.
Q. What did one frog say to another?
A. You're such a WART!
What did the bunny say when he only had thistles to eat?
Thistle have to do.
what is the diffrent between a chicken and a prostute
chicken goes cockadoodle do
prostute goes any cock will do.
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