What do you call it when one rabbit challenges another rabbit to hop across a forty-yard canyon?
A hare dare.
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A family of tortoises went into a cafe for some ice cream.
They sat down and were about to start when Father Tortoise said, "I think it's going to rain. Junior, will you pop home and fetch my umbrella?"
So off went junior for Father's umbrella, but three days later he still hadn't returned.
"I think, dear," said Mother Tortoise to Father Tortoise, "that we had better eat junior's ice cream before it melts."
And a voice from the door said, "If you do that I won't go."
What do you call a cow who argues with her husband?
A bullfighter.
Q: Why are lawyers never attacked by sharks?
A: Professional courtesy.
What South American dance do cows like to do?
The Rump-a.
Q: What's worse than ants in your pants?
A: Uncle.
What do dinosaurs put on their floors?
Rep-tiles.
Why did the duck get arrested?
because he was selling quack.
A guy enters a bar carrying an alligator.
Says to the patrons, "Here’s a deal.
I'll open this alligator's mouth and place my genitals inside.
The gator will close his mouth for one minute, then open it, and I'll remove my unit unscathed.
If it works, everyone buys me drinks."
The crowd agrees.
The guy drops his pants and puts his privates in the gator's mouth.
Gator closes mouth.
After a minute, the guy grabs a beer bottle and bangs the gator on the top of its head.
The gator opens wide, and he removes his genitals unscathed. Everyone buys him drinks.
Then he says: "I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try."
After a while, a hand goes up in the back of the bar.
It's a woman.
"I'll give it a try," she says, "but you have to promise not to hit me on the head with the beer bottle."
Q: Why can't the bankrupt cowboy complain?
A: He has got no beef.
Q: Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple?
A: Finding half a worm."
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