What do you call it when cows do battle in outer space?
Steer Wars.
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What country do cows love to visit?
Moo Zealand.
In India, cows wait until Chuck Norris crosses the street.
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Q: What does an elephant use as tampon?
A: A sheep.
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"My friend is nuts. He thinks he's Bugs Bunny. But I m positive he isn't."
"How do you know he isn t?"
"Because I am."
Crocodiles are easy.
They try to kill and eat you.
People are harder.
Sometimes they pretend to be your friend first.
- Steve Irwin (1962 - 2006)
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Three animals were having a drink in a cafe, when the owner asked for the money.
"I'm not paying," said the duck. "I've only got one bill and I'm not breaking it."
"I've spent my last buck," said the deer.
"Then the duck'll have to pay," said the skunk.
"Getting here cost me my last scent."
Yo' Mama is so poor, when she goes to the park, the pigeons throw her bread.
Where do you find a down-and-out octopus?
On squid row.
A kangaroo mom with seven babies in her pouch told another kangaroo mom, "These sleepovers are killing me."
An asp in the grass is a snake, but a grasp in the ass is a goose.
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