Dog Property Laws
1. If I like it, it's mine.
2. If its in my mouth, it's mine.
3. If I can take it from you, it's mine.
4. If I had it a little while ago, it's mine.
5. If I'm chewing something up, all the pieces are mine.
6. If its mine, it must never appear to be yours anyway.
7. If it just looks like mine, its mine.
8. If I saw it first, its mine.
9. If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes mine.
10. If its broken, its yours.
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Two cows were talking in the field.
One cow says, "Have you heard about the Mad Cow disease that's going around?"
The other cow answers, "Yeah, makes you glad you're a penguin, doesn"t it?"
Why is a reindeer like a gossip?
Because they are both tail bearers.
Did you hear about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account?
They were prime mates.
Q: Did you hear the Energizer Bunny Was Arrested?
A: Charged With Battery.
Three blondes were walking through a field when they came across a set of tracks.
The first blonde looked down at the tracks and said, "I think they could be bird tracks."
The second blonde went to look and said, "No, I think these are deer tracks."
They stepped aside and the third blonde went over to the tracks.
She looked down, then got run over by the train!
What does a cow ride when his car is broken?
A COW-asaki MOO-torcycle.
One day Mullah was beating his donkey in a remote place.
A man saw him and asked: why are you beating the poor animal.
Sorry, said Mullah, is it a member of your family?
Psychiatrist: "What’s your problem?"
Patient: "I think I’m a chicken."
Psychiatrist: "How long has this been going on?"
Patient: "Ever since I was an egg!"
What do you get if you cross a bottle of water with an electric eel?
A bit of a shock really.