Two men were walking along the street when they came upon a dog licking his dick. One man said, "I sure wish I could do that." The other replied, "You can, but you're probably going to have to pet him first."
What's black and white and green? A frog sitting on a newspaper.
What's a moo hoo for a darling bull? A dear steer.
Chuck Norris doesn't just bring home the bacon, he brings home the whole pig.
Q: What is a turkey's favorite dessert? A: Peach gobbler.
What happened to the cannibal lion? He had to swallow his pride!
Q: What is a black cat's favorite color? A: Purrrrrr-ple!
Why did the spider buy a car? So he could take it out for a spin!
Why was the man sued by his horse? For palomino-money!
Q. Why don't lions eat clowns? A. Because they taste funny.
Q: What side of the cow gives the most milk? A: The utter side.