Two men were walking along the street when they came upon a dog licking his dick.
One man said, "I sure wish I could do that."
The other replied, "You can, but you're probably going to have to pet him first."
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Q:Where do you find a dog with no legs?
A:Right where you left him.
A rabbit went to the fortune-teller, “what do you see in my future?” asked the rabbit.
“Very soon,” replied the fortune-teller, “you will meet a pretty young girl who will want to know everything about you.”
“That’s great!” said the rabbit, hopping up and down.
“But when will I meet her?”
“Next week in science class,” said the fortune-teller.
Why couldnt the teddy bear eat any more thanksgiving dinner?
He was already stuffed!
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What's a rabbits favorite movie?
Rabbits of the Lost Ark.
An Australian guy walks into a bar with a crocodile under his arm.
He asks the bartender if he will give him free drinks if he shows he can put his penis inside the crocs mouth for 15 seconds without it getting bit off.
The bartender agrees.
The guy opens the crocs mouth and puts his penis inside it; the croc gently closes his mouth and after 15 seconds the Australian hits him over the head with a bottle, causing the croc to open his mouth and let the guy withdraw his penis.
The bartender starts serving the free drinks to the Austr alian and then tells everyone in the bar "If anyone else can do that then I will give them free drinks also".
There is a pause and then a blonde woman calls out "ok, I will do it but please don't hit me so hard over my head with the bottle".
Chuck Norris can mess with the bull without getting the horns.
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Unicorns are extinct but Chuck Norris used all their horns as toothpicks.
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Is it just me, or do alligators always look like they are in the middle of a push-up?
Q: What do you get when 100 rabbits stand in a row and 99 take a step back?
A: A receding hare line.
Chuck Norris can light ants on fire with a magnifying glass.
At Night.
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