Two men were walking along the street when they came upon a dog licking his dick.
One man said, "I sure wish I could do that."
The other replied, "You can, but you're probably going to have to pet him first."
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What is the last thing to go through a bug's mind when it hits your windshield?
It's ass.
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Q: If a horses foot covers 2 acres of land, what will his tail cover?
A: His ass!
What happens when the cows refuse to be milked?
Udder chaos.
Why don't lobsters share?
They re shellfish.
Why did the farmer fence in the bull?
The farmer had too much of a steak in him to let him go!
One day little Bill was playing in the sand out of the sun underneath his front steps.
Soon his mother walked up the steps without underwear due to the heat of the day and little Bill looked up and yelled out, ''Mother, what's that black thing that you're carrying under your dress?''
''Don't worry, Bill, it's just a squirrel,'' she said.
So little Bill kept on playing, and soon his grandmother came along, also without underwear, and little Bill looked up and said, ''Grammie what is that hairy animal under your dress?''
''Ah, it's a squirrel,'' she answered.
So little Bill asked his grandmother, ''Why is it that your squirrel is grey intead of black?''
The grandmother replied, ''If your mother's squirrel had popped the nuts that this one has popped, it would be gray too.''
What do you call a rabbit who works in a bakery?
A yeaster bunny.
What do you call a cow that fell in a hole?
A hole-y Cow.
Q: Why are dogs such bad dancers?
A: They have two left feet.