Joke #9943

What newspaper do cows read? The Daily Moos.
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Q: Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? A: Becuase the "P" is silent.
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What are the most athletic rodents? Track and field mice.
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What's a moo hoo for a bunch of weirdo cattle? A nerd herd.
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Why did the tadpole feel lonely? Because he was newt to the area.
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A hunter visited another hunter and was given a tour of his home. In the den was a stuffed lion. The visiting hunter asked, “When did you bag him?” The host said proudly, “That was three years ago, when I went hunting with my ex-wife.” “What’s he stuffed with,” asked the visiting hunter. “My ex-wife” replied the hunter.
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Q: Why did the elephant paint himself diffrent colours? A: So he could hide in the crayon box!
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Q: What do you get when you cross a collie with a trumpet? A: A Lassie who plays brassie!
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Did you hear about the cat who drank 5 bowls of water? He set a new lap record.
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Which rabbits were famous bank robbers? Bunny and Clyde.
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Once upon a time in a nice little forest, there lived an orphaned bunny and an orphaned snake. By a surprising coincidence, both were blind from birth. One day, the bunny was hopping through the forest, and the snake was slithering through the forest, when the bunny tripped over the snake and fell down. This, of course, knocked the snake about quite a bit.”Oh, my,” said the bunny, “I’m terribly sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I’ve been blind since birth, so I can’t see where I’m going. In fact, since I’m also an orphan, I don’t even know what I am.” “It’s quite OK,” replied the snake. “Actually, my story is much the same as yours. I, too, have been blind since birth, and also never knew my mother. Tell you what, maybe I could slither all over you, and find out what you are, so at least you’ll have that going for you.” “Oh, that would be wonderful” replied the bunny. So the snake slithered all over the bunny, and said, “Well, you’re covered with soft fur, you have really long ears, your nose twitches, and you have a soft cottony tail. I’d say that you must be a bunny rabbit.” “Oh, thank you! Thank you,” cried the bunny, in obvious excitement. The bunny suggested to the snake, “Maybe I could feel you all over with my paw, and help you the same way that you’ve helped me.” So the bunny felt the snake all over, and remarked, “Well, you’re smooth and slippery, and you have a forked tongue, no backbone, and no balls. I’d say you must be French”
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