What newspaper do cows read? The Daily Moos.
How do you know when a crab is drunk? It walks forwards.
What do you call it when one rabbit challenges another rabbit to hop across a forty-yard canyon? A hare dare.
A drunk guy took a cat home to his wife and said: "See... here is the a monkey of the jungle." His wife said laughing, "That's a CAT ..." He said back to his wife, "I am talking to the cat!"
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
A Bosnian catches a goldfish. The goldfish says: "Let me go and I will grant you one wish." The Bosnian says: "No way, I'll take you to the pawn shop – gold is gold."
Teacher: Students, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing? Class: "Brotherly love."
What country do cows love to visit? Moo Zealand.
Q: Why can't black kids play in the the sandbox? A: Because the cats keep covering them up.
Q: What is a bee that cant make up his mind? A: A maybe.
What is a moo hoo for steak that came late? Filet delay.