Joke #9943

What newspaper do cows read? The Daily Moos.
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has 48.26 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal

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‘Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that’s how dogs spend their lives.’ Sue Murphy
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What do you call the reindeer with one eye higher than the other? Isaiah.
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What kind of money do polar bears use? Ice lolly.
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has 53.58 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, money
Yo' Mama is so fat, if she buys a fur coat, a whole species will become extinct.
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Once, on the set of Walker Texas Ranger, a goat fell over dead. Chuck Norris ran up to the goat and beard rubbed it back to life.
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has 41.84 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death, life
Chuck Norris was bitten by a cobra, cobra died after 5 days.
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has 68.43 % from 356 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death, time
Did you hear about the Irishman who couldn't tell the difference between his two horses? His friend suggested measuring them, that didn't help though, the Irishman discovered that the brown horse was only an inch taller than the white one!
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has 40.24 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: animal, horse
Johny's curriculum vitae: 1. Full name: John 2. Proverb: work is not a rabbit, does not run. 3. Favorite meal: the sphinx with the sour cream. 4. Sexual orientation: sexually disorientated. 5. Mental health: mentally retarded. 6. Previous careers: funeral undertaking, after that two years in the circus as the main brown bear, after that in the church school for two years, after this experience five years as a screw in the jail for the worst criminals with the top degree of supervision and now working for the secret services in my home country after gaining the top-secret audit. 7. Favorite pets: dog, bumble bee named Maxo, a butterfly named as Redwing and the lizard named as Notail 8. Favorite activities: washing the dishes, cutting the woods, vacuuming and playing hard rock. 9. Working motivation: none. I hope that you will accept my curriculum vitae and that we will see each other soon already as new colleagues, I wish more or less. Kind regards, John
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has 89.68 % from 4955 votes. More jokes about: animal, little Johnny, work
It's a really hot day and this penguin is having car trouble, so he takes it into a garage. The penguin asks, "How long will it be?" The mechanic says, "Just a few minutes." So the penguin decides to go get an ice cream at the grocery store across the street. When the penguin gets there he climbs inside the big freezer door and starts to eat ice cream. Three hours go by before the penguin looks at his watch and jumps out of the freezer and races back to the garage. With ice cream all over his face and his stomach he says, "So, how's my car?" The mechanic comes walking out wiping his hands on a rag and says, "Looks like you blew a seal." The penguin says, "No, no, no, I was just eating ice cream."
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has 73.20 % from 89 votes. More jokes about: animal, car, disgusting, mechanic, time
What do you get when you cross a bumble bee with a rabbit? A honey bunny.
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has 54.15 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal