What newspaper do cows read? The Daily Moos.
A bear walks into a bar in Billings, Montana and sits down. He bangs on the bar with his paw and demands a beer. The bartender approaches and says, "We don't serve beer to bears in bars in Billings." The bear, becoming angry, demands again that he be served a beer. The bartender tells him again, more forcefully, "We don't serve beer to belligerent bears in bars in Billings." The bear, very angry now, says, "If you don't serve me a beer, I'm going to eat that lady sitting at the end of the bar." The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve beer to belligerent, bully bears in bars in Billings." The bear goes to the end of the bar, and, as promised, eats the woman. He comes back to his seat and again demands a beer. The bartender states, "Sorry, we don't serve beer to belligerent, bully bears in bars in Billings who are on drugs." The bear says, "I'm NOT on drugs." Te bartender says, "You are now. That was a barbitchyouate."
What happens when the cows refuse to be milked? Udder chaos.
Q: What is the pink stuff between elephant’s toes? A: Slow clowns.
Why did the rabbit run out of the fast-food restaurant? He thought he heard someone order a quarter pounder on a toasted bunny.
Chuck Norris once had a pet monkey...his name was KING KONG
Did you hear about the argumentative skunk? He always liked to make a stink.
What do spiders like to order at a fast food restaurant? Burgers and flies.
How do you know when you re eating rabbit stew? When it has hares in it.
What’s the difference between cats and dogs? Dogs have owners, cats have staff.
Why is a bunny the luckiest animal in the world? It has 4 rabbits feet.