Joke #9943

What newspaper do cows read? The Daily Moos.
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has 52.18 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal

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A man walks into a shop and sees a cute little dog. He asks the shopkeeper, "Does your dog bite?" The shopkeeper says, "No, my dog does not bite." The man tries to pet the dog and the dog bites him. "Ouch!" He says, "I thought you said your dog does not bite!" The shopkeeper replies, "That is not my dog!"
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has 73.64 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: animal, dog
What do you call a cow on a trampoline? A milkshake.
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has 45.82 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal
Little girl: "Why does your son say, 'Cluck, cluck, cluck?'" Mother: "Because he thinks he's a chicken." Little girl: "Why don't you tell him he's not a chicken?" Mother: "Because we need the eggs."
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has 37.36 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: animal, kids
An old lady was considering buying a squirrel fur coat. "But will it be all right in the rain?" she asked anxiously. "Oh certainly, ma am," said the manager smoothly. "After all, you've never seen a squirrel with an umbrella have you?"
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has 54.97 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal, weather
I had to go round next door and look after my neighbour’s cat while he was away. Now there’s a great pile of crap and a puddle of wee on his kitchen floor. Hopefully, he’ll think the cat did it.
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has 24.92 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: animal
What do spiders like to order at a fast food restaurant? Burgers and flies.
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has 54.16 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
My cat can talk. I asked her what two minus two was and she said nothing.
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has 24.26 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: animal
The seven dwarves are in Rome and they go on a tour of the city. After a while they go to the Vatican and meet the Pope. Grumpy, for once, seems to have a lot to say. He keeps asking the Pontiff questions about the church and, in particular, the nuns. "Your Holiness, do you have any really short nuns?" Grumpy asks. "No, my son, all of our nuns are at least five feet tall," smiles the Pope. "Are you sure? I mean, you wouldn't have any nuns that are, say, about my height? Maybe a little shorter?" "I'm afraid not. Why do you ask?" "No reason," replies Grumpy. "But you're positive? Nobody in a habit that's about three feet tall, maybe two-and-a-half feet tall?" "I'm sure, my vertically-challenged son," says the Pope, trying not show his curiosity. "Okay," moans Grumpy. So the Pope listens to the dwarves as they leave the building. "What'd he say? What'd he say?" chant the other six dwarves. Grumpy mutters, "He said they don't have any." And the other six start chanting, "Grumpy fucked a penguin! Grumpy fucked a penguin!"
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has 72.39 % from 82 votes. More jokes about: animal, church, disgusting
How would you get four reindeer in a car? Two in the front and two in the back. And how do you get four polar bears in a car? Take the reindeer out first.
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has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal, car
Q: What animal rotates at least 200 times after it dies? A: A rotisserie chicken.
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has 48.02 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: animal, death