Joke #10153

How far can a rabbit run into the woods? Halfway. After that she's running out of the woods.
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has 49.97 % from 150 votes. More jokes about: animal

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Why can’t elephants go on the beach? Because they can’t keep there trunks up.
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has 35.28 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal
A man who is concerned about his wife cheating on him wants to catch her in the act. He doesn’t have enough money to hire a PI, so he goes to a pet shop. There he asks the clerk if he has a parrot for sale. The clerk shows him the last parrot he has: “This is the last parrot I have for sale. He doesn’t have any legs, but he is very smart.” The man asks, “If he doesn’t have any legs, how does he stay on the perch?” “He holds on with his dick.” the clerk answered. The man asks ” How much?” “Since he doesn’t have any legs, I’ll sell him to you for fifty bucks.” The suspicious man purchases the talking bird and takes him home. He sets up the cage in his bedroom where he can see everything; he then instructs the parrot to watch what ever goes on in the room and inform him when he gets home from work. So the next morning he leaves for work and his wife stays home, as usual. When the man gets home from work, as his wife is cooking supper, he asks the parrot to tell him what went on during the day. The parrot begins, “At eight o’clock this morning the mailman came….” Interrupting the man asks, “Yeah and what happened?” “he came in the house…” Furiously, the man asked “And then” “…and then he came into the bedroom…” Astounded the man impatiently asks, “What happened next?” “He began to take off his clothes and she hers…” “What happened after that!” The parrot then replied, “I don’t know I sprung a boner and fell off!”
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has 65.72 % from 118 votes. More jokes about: animal, parrot, wife, work
A zebra has wondered his whole life whether he was a white zebra with black stripes or a black zebra with white stripes. When he dies and goes to heaven he asks God the question "Am I a white zebra with black stripes or a black zebra with white stripes?" God responds, "You are what you are" The zebra goes to his friends and tells them what God had said and that he still doesn't know the answer to his question. One of his friends says, "Well, that means you are a white zebra with black stripes" The zebra asks him why and the friend says, "Because otherwise God would have said 'You is what you is'"
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has 55.42 % from 94 votes. More jokes about: animal, god, life, racist
How did the calf's final exam turn out? Grade A.
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has 56.77 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal
Why do zebras have stripes? Because the spots where all over.
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has 12.61 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal
How do you stop a skunk from smelling? You hold his nose!
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has 37.92 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal
Kangaroo 911: "What's your emergency?" Kangaroo: "I can't find my children" Kangaroo 911: "Did you check your pockets?" Kangaroo: "Oh nevermind."
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has 57.17 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: animal, customer service, kids
Q: What will a giraffe do, if you spit in its face? A: It will kick off your ladder…
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has 61.63 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: animal
The little snail begs for his mother: Mother, please let me pass the rail road! Thunder dear, not now. In five hours the train passes.
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has 22.36 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal
If toast always lands butter-side down and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast to the back of a cat and drop it?
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has 42.26 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: animal