How far can a rabbit run into the woods?
Halfway.
After that she's running out of the woods.
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You know Chuck Norris' pet lizard, right?
Last I heard, he was in the movie "Godzilla".
Oh, and his pet turtle starred in "Gamera" as well.
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Q: Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
A: A mosquito stops sucking when you slap it...
When Chuck Norris wants salmon he eats the bear too.
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A man is trapped on a desert island with a sheep and a dog.
After a few months, the sheep starts looking really attractive to the man.
However, whenever he approaches the sheep the dog begins to growl in a threatening manner.
The man takes the dog to the opposite side of the island giving it some food as a distraction.
He runs back to the sheep only to find the dog growling at him.
The man ties the dog to a tree with a large leash.
He goes back to the sheep only to find the dog growling with a gnawed off leash around its neck.
By now, the man is getting depressed and frustrated.
As he sits under a palm tree staring out to sea, a beautiful woman in a tight-fitting wet suit emerges from the surf.
She asks him who he is and, taking pity upon his lonely state, asks if there's ANYTHING she could do for him.
The man thinks for a moment and then responds: "Could you take the dog for a walk?"
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Why is it difficult to identify horses from the back?
They re always switching their tails.
What's a teddy bears favourite pasta?
Tagliateddy.
Q. Why did the tiger loose at poker?
A. Because he was playing with a cheetah.
There's two fish in a tank, and one says ''How do you drive this thing?''
A snail and a slug got in a crash.
When the police, ambulances and news reporters arrived, a reporter asked a tortoise what happened.
He replied: "I don't know, it all happened so fast!"