Joke #10153

How far can a rabbit run into the woods? Halfway. After that she's running out of the woods.
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has 47.36 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: animal

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What did the frog say to the fly? You are really starting to bug me!
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has 14.23 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: animal
Three rabbits escape from a testing lab and find an entire field full of carrots. They eat themselves into a stupor and sleep throughout the night. The next morning, they find an entire field full of female rabbits with no males in sight. They screw themselves into a stupor and sleep throughout the night. The next morning, the rabbits get to talking. "I'm gonna go back to that field of carrots," says one. "I'm gonna go back to those cute little rabbits," says the second. "I'm going back to the lab," says the third. "I'm dying for a cigarette."
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has 51.00 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, food
Two hunters from Moscow charter a small plane to fly them to Siberia to go bear hunting. On landing, the pilot says, "Remember, this plane can only fly with two hunters, one pilot, and ONE bear." The hunters go out and return with two bears. So the pilot says, "I told you ONE bear!" But the hunters point out that the previous year, on payment of an extra 100 rubles, the pilot had let them put two bears on board. After long discussion centering on the impossibility of the thing and the disgraceful degree of inflation, the pilot takes 200 rubles and with much pushing and shoving the hunters get aboard with the two bears. After struggling into the air and fitfully flying for about two hours, the plane gives up and plummets to the earth in a snowbank. Climbing out from under the snow and the bears, the hunters ask the pilot where he thinks they are. The pilot says, "About the same place where we crashed last year."
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has 81.49 % from 169 votes. More jokes about: airplane, animal, hunting, life, travel
Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were having a conversation one fine Sunday evening. One remarked to the other, ‘I got a new hearing device and it works fine?' The second said, ‘oh yes, my grandchildren just love the gifts of my choice.' The third one who noticed the hearing device in the ear of the first one asked, what kind is it?' The one with the brand new hearing device answered ‘about 6 O'clock'. All three of them looked up in the birds in the sky and said, "Birds of the same feather ‘flock' together."
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has 18.30 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal, bird, kids, old people, time
What kind of horse can swim underwater without coming up for air? A seahorse.
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has 42.03 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal
Johnny was playing outside when he really had to go to the bathroom. He runs in and his grandma was about to take a shower. He looks at her crotch and says, "Whats that?" She says: "Well, it's a beaver, Johnny." The next day the same thing happens, only his mom is taking the shower. He says: "Mom I know what that is. It's a beaver, but I think grandma's is dead because it's tongue is hanging out."
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has 59.64 % from 167 votes. More jokes about: animal, little Johnny, old people
What kind of money do polar bears use? Ice lolly.
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has 52.93 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal, money
Who robs banks and squirts ink? Billy the Squid.
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has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal
I was just told that my dog chased someone on a bicycle and bit him. That's bullshit, my dog can't even ride a bicycle.
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has 73.67 % from 335 votes. More jokes about: animal, dog
Cats are allergic to Chuck Norris.
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has 57.55 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: animal, cat, Chuck Norris