If you crossed a cow with a goat, what would you get?
Half and half.
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Have you seen the offices of the RSPCA?
It’s tiny; you couldn’t swing a cat in there.
Why are rabbits like calculators?
They both multiply a lot.
There was once a puppy called May who loved to pick quarrels with animals who were bigger than she was.
One day she argued with a lion.
The next day was the first of June.
Why?
Because that was the end of May!
What job do rabbits at hotels have?
Bellhop.
It takes a master to shoot a fly from a hundred Paces, but it takes a Chuck Norris to roundhouse-kick one from a thousand.
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What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a millionaire?
A bunny with money.
Every day after work two blondes would look for their cars together.
Since they could never remember where they parked, they would sit around until all the cars were gone and they could spot their vehicles.
One blonde says "We need to find a faster way to get home."
The next day, they come to work on a donkey.
After work they come out and see a donkey tied to the fence.
"I think we're going to have to wait again, " says the one blonde.
"I'm not convinced that's our donkey."
"Why not?" asks the second blonde.
The first blonde says, "Well, this donkey only has one a**hole, and this morning when we rode in, I distinctly overhead someone say, "Hey look at those two a**holes on that donkey."
Which ghost sailed the seven seas looking for rubbish and blubber?
The ghost of BinBag the Whaler.
Why is manna from heaven like horse hay?
Both are food from aloft!