Joke #9888

If you crossed a cow with a goat, what would you get? Half and half.
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Did you hear about the man who ate nothing but oats every day? He fell in love with the Grand National winner!
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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side…
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Chuck Norris walks into a bar, and as he enters, notices a horse and the end of the bar with a sign on it. Out of curiosity, he approaches the bartender and asks what the deal is with the horse at the end of the bar. The bartender tells him: "The sign says if you can make the horse laugh you'll win $50. Take note though that hundreds of people have tried and no-one has been able to do it." "Get out the money," says Chuck," I'll be right back." So he walks to the end of the bar, whispers something into the horse's ear, and within seconds the horse is laughing hysterically. "That's amazing," said the bartender. "Tell you what, if you can make him cry I'll double your winnings." "Get out the money," says Chuck," I'll be right back." So Chuck walked again over to the horse, came back to the bartender 2 minutes later, and the horse was balling and sobbing like a baby. "Well," replied Chuck Norris, "First I told him a had a bigger d*ck than he did. Then I showed him."
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You would think that taking off a snail's shell would make it move faster, but it actually just makes it more sluggish.
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Q: Why didn't go Noah fishing? A: He only had two worms.
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A summer visitor asked the farmer how long cows should be milked. "Oh, I reckon about the same as short ones!" the farmer answered.
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Law of Cat Composition A cat is composed of Matter + Anti-Matter + It Doesn't Matter.
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When do rabbits have buck teeth? When their parents won't get them braces.
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Did you hear about the skunk who sat on a fan? He got cut off without a scent.
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A fellow always wanted to own a pet skunk, so in the dead of winter, he took his girlfriend with him to go hunting for one. After a bit of waiting, they bagged a skunk and brought him back to the truck. The skunk was very scared and very cold, so the guy asks his girlfriend if she can keep the skunk between her legs to keep him warm. "But what about the smell?" asks his girlfriend. "Oh, he'll get used to it, just like I did."
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