If you crossed a cow with a goat, what would you get?
Half and half.
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The priest in a small Irish village loved the rooster and ten hens he kept in the hen house behind the church. One Sunday morning, before mass, he went to feed the birds and discovered that the cock was missing. He knew about cock fights in the village, so he questioned his parishioners in church. During mass, he asked the congregation, 'Has anybody got a cock?
All the men stood up.
'No, no,' he said, 'that wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen a cock?'
All the women stood up.
'No, no,' he said, 'that wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen a cock that doesn' t belong to them?'
Half the women stood up.
'No, no,' he said, 'that wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen MY cock?'
Sixteen altar boys, two priests and a goat stood up.
The priest fainted.
Q: Why did Mozart kill all his chickens?
A: Because when he asked them who the best composer was, they'd all say: "Bach, Bach, Bach."
Why did the bald man paint rabbits on his head?
Because from a distance they looked like hares.
Q: Why should you never set the turkey next to the desert?
A: Because he will gobble, gobble it up!
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Why is manna from heaven like horse hay?
Both are food from aloft!
If we were both squirrels, would you let me bust a nut in your hole?
Using a novelty invisible dog leash and collar Chuck Norris won the Westminster Dog Show.
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What do you call a penguin in the desert?
Lost!
Two rabbits are in a garden and one of the rabbits says, "Thith carrot tathes pithy."
The other rabbit says, "Yes, I know, I just pithed on it."
Who would win in a fight between a bear and a lion?
Answer - neither, Chuck Norris would beat them both with a single round-house-kick.
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