If you crossed a cow with a goat, what would you get? Half and half.
Why was the racehorse names Strawberry Ice? He was a sherbet!
The proprietor of the general store at the cross-roads had his place overrun by rats, and the damage was such that he offered a hundred dollars reward to anyone who would rid him of the pests. A disreputable-appearing person turned up one morning, and announced that he was a professional rat-killer. "Get to work," the store-keeper urged. "I must have a pound of cheese," the killer declared. When this had been provided: "Now give me a quart of whiskey." Equipped with the whiskey, the professional spoke briskly: "Now show me the cellar." An hour elapsed, and then the rat-catcher galloped up the cellar stairs and leaped into the store. His face was red, the eyes glaring, and he shook his fists in defiance of the world at large, as he jumped high in air and shouted: "Whoopee! I'm ready! bring on your rats!"
Chuck Norris once rode a bull threw a China shop, the only thing that broke was the bull.
Q: What is it called when a soldier slips into a fox hole? A: Bestiality
You momma so stupid I see her walking the pigs down the street I'd asked "What she doing?" And she said "Going piggy back riding"!
Yo' Mama is so ugly, when I walked past your fence, she came out barking.
My cat can talk. I asked her what two minus two was and she said nothing.
A fish walks into a bar, the bartender asks, "What would you like?" the fish says holding his neck, "Water".
Chuck Norris doesn’t ride a horse, he uses his crotch to carry it.
What's a moo hoo for grazing school? Grass class.