Joke #9888

If you crossed a cow with a goat, what would you get? Half and half.
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal

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Q: What creature has more lives than a cat? A: A frog, after all, they croak every night.
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has 27.61 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: animal
One day Jane met Tarzan in the jungle. She was very attracted to him and during her questions about his life she asked him how he managed for sex. "What's that?" he asked. She explained to him what sex was and he said, "Oh, I use a hole in the trunk of a tree." Horrified, she said, "Tarzan, you have it all wrong. I'll show you how to do it properly." She took off her clothes, laid down on the ground and spread her legs wide. "Here," she said, "You must put it in here." Tarzan removed his loincloth, stepped closer and then gave her an almighty kick, right in the crotch. Jane rolled around in agony. Eventually she managed to gasp, "What the hell did you do that for?" "Checking for bees!" said Tarzan.
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has 79.73 % from 1441 votes. More jokes about: animal, life, sex
There is a lady laying in bed. At about midnight her husband comes walking in with a sheep under his arm and says ”That’s the fat pig I’ve been sleeping with when I’m not sleeping with you.” His wife gets a confused look on her face and states ”but honey that’s not a pig its a sheep.” Her husband says ”Shut up pig I’m talking to the sheep!”
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has 48.78 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, fat, husband
A man walked into a curio store and was shopping around. After awhile, he chose a brass rat and brought it up to the counter. "That will be $10 for the brass rat and $1,000 for the story behind it," said the proprietor. "Thanks, but I'll just pay the $10 and pass on the story." He purchased the brass rat and left the store. As he was walking down the street, he started noticing all sorts of rats following him. The further he walked, the more rats followed. He walked down to the wharf and still more rats came out and followed him. So, he decided to walk out into the water, all the rats drowned. He returned to the store shortly. "Ah-ha!" said the proprietor. "You've come back for the story, right?" "Nope," said the man. "You have any brass lawyers?"
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has 58.09 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: animal, money
What kind of tiles can't you stick on walls? Reptiles.
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has 63.00 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal
Did you hear about the cannibal spider that ate his uncle's wife? He was an aunteater.
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has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, wife
If you crossed a cow with Michael Jackson, what song would you get? "Beeflt!"
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has 48.26 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal, music
Q: What do you get when 100 rabbits stand in a row and 99 take a step back? A: A receding hare line.
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has 29.51 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal
A farmhand is driving around the farm, checking the fences. After a few minutes he radios his boss and says, "Boss, I’ve got a problem. I hit a pig on the road and he’s stuck in the bull-bars of my truck. He’s still wriggling. What should I do?" "In the back of your truck there’s a shotgun. Shoot the pig in the head and when it stops wriggling you can pull it out and throw it in a bush." The farm worker says okay and signs off. About 10 minutes later he radios back. "Boss I did what you said, I shot the pig and dragged it out and threw it in a bush." "So what’s the problem now?" his Boss snapped. "The blue light on his motorcycle is still flashing!"
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has 71.33 % from 99 votes. More jokes about: animal, cop
Why did the moron give the sleepy cow a hammer? He wanted her to hit the hay!
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has 48.26 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal