"My friend is nuts. He thinks he's Bugs Bunny. But I m positive he isn't."
"How do you know he isn t?"
"Because I am."
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That bull you sold me is a lazy good-for-nothing.
I told you he was a bum steer.
What's wet and wiggly and says how do you do sixteen times?
Two octopuses shaking hands.
What is the slowest racehorse in the world?
A clotheshorse.
A man had a party where all the rich people attend.
And the he had a pool with alligators.
So he announced that anyone who will swim across this pool and come out alive will be granted three wishes.
But no one wanted to go for the challenge.
All of a sudden, there was a big splash and a man was swimming like a hell and came out alive.
So the host asked, "What are your three wishes?"
The man replied, "Give me the shotgun and bulllets and show me the idiot that pushed me in..."
What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?
A thesaurus.
What do you call a gigantic polar bear?
Nothing, you just run away.
Sharks watch Chuck Norris week.
Vote:
Yesterday my daughter was playing in the garden when I saw her kill a butterfly.
So to teach her a lesson I said, "Just for that you don't get any butter for a month."
Today in the kitchen she killed a cockroach. I said, "Nice try."
There is no theory of evolution.
Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
Vote:
A man is walking through the wood and he meets a really ugly, big and a fat frog.
The frog says: "Hello, prince if you kiss me, I will fulfill you one wish. You can wish whatever you want."
The man says: "Ok, I will kiss you."
He kisses the frog, he has told her his wish but nothing has happened.
And the frog said: "Now you can see, such an old man and still believes in fairy tales."