Joke #5703

A guy walked into a bar with a pet alligator by his side. He put the alligator up on the bar. He turned to the astonished patrons and said, "I'll make you a deal. I'll open this alligator's mouth and place my genitals inside. Then the gator will close his mouth for one minute." He'll then open his mouth and I'll remove my unit unscathed. In return for witnessing this spectacle, each of you will buy me a drink. The crowd murmured their approval. The man stood up on the bar, dropped his trousers, and placed his privates in the alligator's open mouth. The gator closed his mouth as the crowd gasped. After a minute, the man grabbed a beer bottle and rapped the alligator hard on the top of its head. The gator opened his mouth and the man removed his genitals unscathed as promised. The crowd cheered and the first of his free drinks were delivered. The man stood up again and made another offer. "I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try." A hush fell over the crowd. After a while, a hand went up at the end of the bar and a woman timidly spoke up. "I'll try, but you have to promise not to hit me on the head with a beer bottle."
Vote: has 70.18 % from 35 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

A blonde returned home from work and was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She called the police immediately to report the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the channels and a K-9 unit patrolling nearby was the first to respond. As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out onto the porch. The sight of the cop and his dog made her shudder. She put her face in her hands as she sat down on the steps and began moaning. "What's the moaning all about, ma'am?" asked the officer. The blonde replied, "I come home to find all my possessions stolen, so I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send me a blind policeman!"
Vote: has 62.63 % from 37 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, blonde, cop, dog, work
Little Johnny: „Mom, can I get a dog at Christmas, please?"  Mother: „No, you'll be getting turkey, like every year!"
Vote: has 47.29 % from 72 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, Christmas, dog, food, little Johnny
Yo' Mama is so fat, when she went to KFC, she ordered the bucket of chicken on the roof.
Vote: has 56.86 % from 14 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, fat, food, Yo mama
I've just discovered a method for making wool out of milk. But doesn't that make the cow feel a little sheepish?
Vote: has 67.81 % from 11 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal
What happens when you kiss a canary? You get chirpes, it can't be tweeted because its a canarial disease.
Vote: has 50.70 % from 17 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, bird, health, parrot
What is a moo hoo for a cow that fell into the thresher? Ground round.
Vote: has 67.81 % from 11 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal
Question: Why did the Army send do many women with PMS to the Persian Gulf? Answer: They fought like animals and retained water for 4 days.
Vote: has 25.81 % from 16 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, military, women
How is cat food sold? Usually purr can!
Vote: has 22.18 % from 6 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal
Jim and Lena were driving around the countryside when they ran over a skunk. "We better take the skunk to the vet, Lena. Just put the skunk between your legs to keep it warm." "But, Jim, what about the smell?" "Don't worry, Lena. The skunk will get used to it."
Vote: has 81.04 % from 201 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, disgusting, doctor
Chuck Norris once won the Iditarod by pulling his team of dogs on the sled.
Vote: has 63.66 % from 28 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, sport