Joke #7066

A city child came running into the farmhouse. “No wonder that mama pig is so big,” she yelled. “There’s a bunch of little pigs out there blowing her up!”

A man moved to a mountain top to get rid of the hustle and be alone. One day he heard a knock at the door and no one was there but then he looked down and there sat a snail and it said "it is quite cold out here can I come in?" The man shouted "NO why don't you all understand I want to be alone!" and he kicked the snail down the mountain. One year later there was a knock at the door and no one was there and then he looked down and there again sat a snail and it said, "What did you do that for?"

Where do Danish cows come from? Cowpenhagenf.

Knock, knock. Who's there? Owls say. Owls say who? Yep, that they do.

What weighs 35 tons, has four fuzzy ears and is 80 million years old? Two rabbits riding a brontosaurus.

What's the fastest way to send a rabbit? Haremail.

A man runs over a cat. The cat’s address is on its collar so the man goes to apologise to the owner. He knocks on the door and a little old lady answers. The man says, ‘I’m so sorry. I’ve just run over your cat. Can I replace it?’ ‘I don’t know,’ replies the old lady. ‘How are you at catching mice?’

Chuck Norris can light ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At Night.

Yo mama's so fat, Godzilla tried to f**k her and fell in.

What did the frog say to the fly? You are really starting to bug me!

Q.How do you catch a polar bear? A.You cut a hole in the ice and you put peas all round the edge and when the polar bear comes along and stops for a pea,you kick it in the ice hole.