Joke #7066

A city child came running into the farmhouse. “No wonder that mama pig is so big,” she yelled. “There’s a bunch of little pigs out there blowing her up!”
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has 79.54 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: animal

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A man was driving down the road with twenty penguins in the back seat. The police stop him and say that he can’t drive around with the penguins in the car and should take them to the zoo. The man agrees and drives off. The next day the same man is driving down the road with twenty penguins in the back and again. He is stopped by the same police officer who says, "Hey! I though I told you to take those to the zoo." The man replies "I did. Today I’m taking them to the movies."
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has 58.51 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal, cop, travel
A man was very proud of his guard dog, he would leave it to roam free in the garden to sow the world his house was guarded. One day a woman knocked at his door. “Is that your big dog outside?” Wondering how she had got past him he said: “Yes why?” She said "I’m sorry but my dog just killed him!” “What?” Roared the man “What kind of dog have you got?” “A Peke” Replied the woman. “A Peke? How could that little thing kill my big fine guard dog?” “I think it got stuck in his throat!” replied the woman.
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has 81.91 % from 88 votes. More jokes about: animal, death, dog, women
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? a lickalotapus.
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has 36.97 % from 76 votes. More jokes about: animal, dinosaur, dirty, lesbian
Chuck Norris tangled with Wolverine. He beat to him to a bloody pulp, then dared him to heal himself. Wolverine will not be in the next X-Men movie.
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has 60.15 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
Monahan stumbled into a saloon, half crocked. "Say," he said to the bartender, "how tall is a penguin?" "About two and a half feet." "Thank God!" cried Monahan. "I thought I ran over a nun!"
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has 73.44 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, animal, bartender, god
What country do cows love to visit? Moo Zealand.
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has 54.26 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: animal, love
What do you get if you cross an eel with a shopper? A slippery customer.
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has 52.18 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal
There was once a man from the city who was visiting a small farm, and during this visit he saw a farmer feeding pigs in a most extraordinary manner. The farmer would lift a pig up to a nearby apple tree, and the pig would eat the apples off the tree directly. The farmer would move the pig from one apple to another until the pig was satisfied, then he would start again with another pig. The city man watched this activity for some time with great astonishment. Finally, he could not resist saying to the farmer, “This is the most inefficient method of feeding pigs that I can imagine. Just think of the time that would be saved if you simply shook the apples off the tree and let the pigs eat them from the ground!” The farmer looked puzzled and replied, “What’s time to a pig?”
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has 50.45 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: animal
You would think that taking off a snail's shell would make it move faster, but it actually just makes it more sluggish.
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has 67.88 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal, disgusting, travel
Yo' Mama is so fat, she tried to eat her chicken pox.
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has 43.21 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: animal, fat, food, Yo mama