A city child came running into the farmhouse. “No wonder that mama pig is so big,” she yelled. “There’s a bunch of little pigs out there blowing her up!”
What do you do when two snails have a fight? Leave them to slug it out.
Q) What do you call a dog with no legs? A) It doesn't matter, he won't come!
One day, Little Johnny's grandmother sent him to the water hole to get some water for cooking dinner. As he was dipping the bucket in, he saw two big eyes looking back at him. He dropped the bucket and ran back to grandma's house as fast as he could. "Where's my bucket and my water?" She asked. "I can't get any water from that water hole, there's a mean ol' alligator down there!" "Now don't you mind that ol' alligator, Johnny. He's been there for years, and he's never hurt no one. Why, he's probably as scared of you as you are of him!" "Well, Grandma," replied Johnny, "if he's as scared of me as I am of him, then that water ain't fit to drink!"
Yo Momma is so fat… That she makes Godzilla look like an action figure.
A hunter visited another hunter and was given a tour of his home. In the den was a stuffed lion. The visiting hunter asked, “When did you bag him?” The host said proudly, “That was three years ago, when I went hunting with my ex-wife.” “What’s he stuffed with,” asked the visiting hunter. “My ex-wife” replied the hunter.
What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down? It gets toad away.
Q: Why do bunnies have soft sex? A: They have cotton balls.
When Chuck Norris wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken.
What is a buttress? A female goat.
Did you hear about the horse that has made a dozen films? He's not a star though, he just does bit parts!