Joke #2338

Why did the frog go to the mall? Because he wanted to go hopping.
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has 39.47 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: animal

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Q. How do rednecks have safe sex? A. They mark the sheep that kick!
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has 26.98 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: animal
Teacher: Kids,what does the chicken give you? Kids: Meat! Teacher: Very good! Now what does the pig give you? Kids: Bacon! Teacher: Great! And what does the fat cow give you? Kid: Homework!
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has 82.52 % from 372 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, kids, teacher
One day a man heard knocking at his door. He opened the door only to see a small snail sitting there smiling. The guy picked the snail up and threw it as far as he possibly could. Three years later he heard knocking at the door again. He opened the door to see the snail. The snail said, "What the hell was that all about?"
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has 62.25 % from 159 votes. More jokes about: animal, knock-knock
Yo' Mama is so ugly, when I walked past your fence, she came out barking.
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has 52.18 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal, insulting, ugly, Yo mama
Two men were walking through the woods when a large bear walked out into the clearing not more than fifty feet from them. The first man dropped his backpack and dug out a pair of running shoes. Then, as the bear slowly approached them, he furiously attempted to lace them up. The second man, somewhat confused, looked at the first man and said, "Whaddya doing? Running shoes ain’t gonna help! You can't outrun that there bear!" "I don't need to outrun the bear, buddy," said the first man, "I just need to outrun you."
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has 67.81 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: animal
A guy walks into a Raptors bar with a dachshund under his arm. The dog is wearing a "Toronto Raptors" jersey and helmet, and is festooned with "Raptors" pom-poms. The bartender says: "Hey! No pets are allowed in here! You'll have to leave!" The guy begs him: "Look, I'm desperate. We're both big fans, the TV is broken, and this is the only place around where we can see the game!" After securing a promise that the dog will behave, and warning him that he and the dog will be thrown out if there's any trouble, the bartender relents and allows them to stay in the bar and watch the game. The big game begins and Vince Carter does a great slum dunk. With that the dog jumps up on the bar, and begins walking up and down the bar giving high-fives to everyone. The bartender says: "Wow, that is the most amazing thing I've ever seen! What does the dog do if Raptors win?" The owner replies: "I don't know, I've only had him for a half year."
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has 44.47 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: animal, bar, bartender, dog, game
Dogs may shed, but cats shred.
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has 62.22 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal
What kind of cows do you find in Alaska? Eski-moos.
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has 55.34 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal, geography
What's an octopuses favourite latin saying? Squid pro quo.
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has 60.56 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal
What do you get when you mix human DNA with goat DNA? Kicked out of the petting zoo.
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has 72.70 % from 83 votes. More jokes about: animal