Why did the frog go to the mall?
Because he wanted to go hopping.
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Q: What did the pig say at the beach on a hot summer's day?
A: I'm bakin'.
Three bulls heard the rancher was bringing another bull onto the ranch.
First Bull: "I've been here five years. I'm not giving this new bull any of my 100 cows."
Second Bull: "I've been here three years and have earned my right to 50 cows. I'm keeping all my cows."
Third Bull: "I've only been here a year, and so far, you guys have only let me have 10 cows. I may not be as big as you fellows, but I'm keeping all 10 of my cows."
Just then an 18-wheeler pulls up in the pasture carrying the biggest bull they've ever seen.
At 4,700 pounds, each step he takes strains the steel ramp.
First Bull: "I think I can spare a few cows for our new friend."
Second Bull: "I actually have too many cows to take care of. I can spare a few. I'm certainly not looking for an argument."
They look over at the third bull and find him pawing the dirt, shaking his horns and snorting.
First Bull: "Son, don't be foolish, let him have some of your cows and live to tell about it."
Third Bull: "Hell, he can have all my cows. I'm just making sure he knows I'm a bull."
If they bring shrimp home on shrimp boats, fish home on fish boats, and clams home on clam boats, what do they bring crabs home on?
The Captains Dinghy!
Q: What do you get when you cross a perm with a rabbit?
A: Curly hare.
A man asks a farmer near a field, "Sorry sir, would you mind if I crossed your field instead of going around it? You see, I have to catch the 4:23 train."
The farmer says, "Sure, go right ahead. And if my bull sees you, you'll even catch the 4:11 one."
What’s a black spot between two white spots?
A fly with cotton wool in her ears!
Why don't cows ever have any money?
Because the farmers milk them dry.
What do you call an affectionate rabbit?
A tender, loving hare.
When Chuck Norris was a baby he didnt have teddy bears. He had real bears.
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If it walks like a duck, talks lidek a duck, and smell like a duck but Chuck Norris says it's a girrafe. It's a damn girrafe!
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