Why did the frog go to the mall?
Because he wanted to go hopping.
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A lady goes into a bar with her goose.
Then the bartender comes up to her and says, "Why did you have to bring the pig in with you?"
Then the lady answered, "Excuse me, I think this is a goose."
And the bartender says, "Excuse me, I was talking to the goose."
Did you hear about the race horse that was so late coming in?
They had to pay the jockey overtime!
What's black and white and green?
A frog sitting on a newspaper.
Why do female black widow spiders kill the males after mating?
To stop the snoring before it starts.
A salesman is talking to a farmer when he looks over and sees a rooster wearing pants, a shirt, and suspenders.
He says, “What the hell is that all about?”
The farmer says, “We had a fire in the chicken coop and all his feathers got singed off, so the wife made him some clothes to keep him warm. There ain’t nothing funnier than watching him try to hold down a hen with one foot and get his pants down with the other.”
Q:Why did the cow cross the road?
A:To go to the moo-vies.
Q: Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
A: A mosquito stops sucking when you slap it...
Q: What is a black cat's favorite color?
A: Purrrrrr-ple!
Q: Why did the fat turkey cross the road?
A: To get hit by my car.