Joke #10534

What do tigers wear in bed? Stripey pyjamas.
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has 49.51 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal

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Chuck Norris does not buy ground beef, he just takes a whole cow, runs it through his beard, and fully cooked hamburgers come out.
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has 44.46 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, food
What lives in the ocean, is grouchy and hates neighbours? A hermit crab.
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has 56.77 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal
Bob checked into his hotel room and immediately noticed a dead cockroach on the floor. He called the front desk, asked for the manager and raised a fuss. "Sir, please calm down," the manager replied. "It's dead. It can't bother you now." "The dead one doesn't bother me." Bob said. "It's his pallbearers."
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has 42.61 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal, death
Two Bear Hunters Two men went bear hunting. While one stayed in the cabin, the other went out looking for a bear. He soon found a huge bear, shot at it but only wounded it. The enraged bear charged toward him, he dropped his rifle and started running for the cabin as fast as he could. He ran pretty fast but the bear was just a little faster and gained on him with every step. Just as he reached the open cabin door, he tripped and fell flat. Too close behind to stop, the bear tripped over him and went rolling into the cabin. The man jumped up, closed the cabin door and yelled to his friend inside, "You skin this one while I go and get another one!"
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has 35.78 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: animal, hunting
A lady is walking down the street to work and she sees a parrot in a pet store. The parrot says to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." Well, the lady is furious! And she storms past the store to her work. On the way home she saw the same parrot in the window and the parrot said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." Well, she was incredibly ticked now. The next day see saw the same parrot and the parrot said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." The lady was so ticked that she went into the store and said that she would sue the store and kill the bird. The store manager said, "That's not good." and promised he wouldn't say it again. When the lady walked past the store after work the parrot said to her, "Hey lady." She paused and said, "Yes?" and the bird said, "You know."
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has 81.57 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: animal
What happens when you put the batteries in BACKWARDS in the Energizer Bunny? He keeps coming and coming and coming...
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has 22.36 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal, technology
What’s the difference between goats and women?? Goats are always horney.
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has 36.90 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal, women
A man walks into a bar with a dog. The bartender says, "You can't bring that dog in here." "You don't understand," says the man. "This is no regular dog, he can talk." "Listen, pal," says the bartender. "If that dog can talk, I'll give you a hundred bucks. "The man puts the dog on a stool, and asks him, "What's on top of a house?" "Roof!" "Right. And what's on the outside of a tree?" "Bark!" "And who's the greatest baseball player of all time?" "Ruth!" "I guess you've heard enough," says the man. "I'll take the hundred in twenties." The bartender is furious. "Listen, pal," he says, "get out of here before I belt you." As soon as they're on the street, the dog turns to the man and says, "Do you think I should have said 'DiMaggio'?"
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has 62.43 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: animal, bar, bartender, sport
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."
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has 52.93 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal
The little snail begs for his mother: Mother, please let me pass the rail road! Thunder dear, not now. In five hours the train passes.
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has 22.36 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal