You said it was a great horse and it is. It took twenty other horses to beat him!
Q: What do you call cattle with a sense of humor? A: Laughing stock.
Exasperated dragon on the field of battle: "Mother said there would be knights like this."
What does a spider do when he gets angry? He goes up the wall!
What did Cinderella Dolphin where to the ball? Glass flippers.
Why do you never see zebras or antelopes at Victoria Station? Because it's a mane-lion station.
Chuck Norris and Jean-Claude Van Damme play tug a war with live annacondas.
This guy from up north just up and one day moved down south to start himself a farm. He came across this man and asked him where he could get a good donkey to pull a cart and plow. The man said I've got just what you need. Only thing is down here we don't call them donkeys we call them an ass. He said when this ass stops you'll have to get off the cart and slap them to get it going again. The northern man thanks him and heads on his way. He comes up to a man seeking chickens. He says to the man, I'd like to buy a rooster and a hen. The guy sai d sure thing but down here we don't call em roosters and hens. We call them a cock and a pullet. The man from up north says ok, thanks the man and is on his way. He going along in his cart when his donkey stops in the middle of the road. He remembers what the man said he had to do to get it going. Just then a lady is walking by. So he walks up to her and says, "excuse me miss, but will you hold my cock and pullet while I slap my ass."
Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were having a conversation one fine Sunday evening. One remarked to the other, ‘I got a new hearing device and it works fine?' The second said, ‘oh yes, my grandchildren just love the gifts of my choice.' The third one who noticed the hearing device in the ear of the first one asked, what kind is it?' The one with the brand new hearing device answered ‘about 6 O'clock'. All three of them looked up in the birds in the sky and said, "Birds of the same feather ‘flock' together."
Animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.
When do rabbits have buck teeth? When their parents won't get them braces.