You said it was a great horse and it is. It took twenty other horses to beat him!
A frog goes into a bank, and hops up on the desk of the loan officer. ''Hi,'' he croaks. ''What's your name?'' The loan officer says, ''My name is John Paddywack. May I help you?'' ''Yeah,'' says the frog. ''I'd like to borrow some money.'' The loan officer finds this a little odd, but gets out a form. ''Okay,what's your name?'' The frog replies, ''Kermit Jagger.'' ''Really?'' says the loan officer. ''Any relation to Mick Jagger?'' ''Yeah, he's my dad.'' ''Hmmm,'' says the loan officer. ''Do you have any collateral?'' The frog hands over a pink ceramic elephant and asks, ''Will this do?'' The loan officer says, ''Um, I'm not sure. Let me go check with the bank manager.'' ''Oh, tell him I said hi,'' adds the frog. ''He knows me.'' The loan officer goes back to the manager and says, ''Excuse me, sir, but there's a frog out there named Kermit Jagger who wants to borrow some money. All he has for collateral is this pink elephant thing; I'm not even sure what it is.'' The manager says: ''It's a knick-knack, Paddywack, give the frog a loan; his old man's a Rolling Stone.''
Dogs and cats instinctively know the exact moment their owners will wake up. Then they wake them 10 minutes sooner.
What do you call it when one rabbit challenges another rabbit to hop across a forty-yard canyon? A hare dare.
What do frogs do with paper? Rip-it!
Why does a chicken coop have 2 doors? Because, if it had 4 doors it would be chicken sedan.
Q: Why did the lion brake up with his girlfriend? A: Cuz she was a CHEETAH!
What did the cannibal say when he came home and found his wife chopping up a python and a pygmy? Oh no, not snake and pygmy pie again!
"Your Honor, it was an accident! I had to run into the fence to keep from hitting the cow!" "Was it a Jersey cow?" "I don't know, I didn't see her license plate!"
Q: Whats the Diffenence between kinky and perverted? A1: Kinky is when you tickle your girl friends ass with a feather. A2: Perverted is when you use the whole chicken...
Why don't cows ever have any money? Because the farmers milk them dry.