Q. What's green and red?
A. A very mad frog.
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If it looks like chicken tastes like chicken and smells like chicken and Chuck Norris says it's beef then it's beef.
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How do snails get their shells all shiny?
They use snail polish.
What kind of cows do you find in Alaska?
Eski-moos.
Q. What's black and white and green?
A. A frog sitting on a newspaper.
If it walks like a duck, talks lidek a duck, and smell like a duck but Chuck Norris says it's a girrafe. It's a damn girrafe!
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What did the customer say to the pet shop assistant after buying a bunny?
Rabbit up nicely, it's a gift.
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A man walks by a table in a casino and passes three men and a dog playing cards.
‘That’s a very smart dog,’ says the man.
‘He’s not so clever,’ says one of the players.
‘Every time he gets a good hand, he wags his tail.’
What dog can jump higher than a building?
Anydog, buildings can't jump!
I thought I was at a Nicki Minaj concert for 20 minutes before I realized I was just watching a homeless man yell at a pigeon.
A plowhorse, a honeybee and an old geezer are debating about which of them is the greatest.
The horse says, "I can plow all day long to provide food for dozens of people!"
"
The bee says, "I pollinate all the plants every year and make honey besides!"
The old geezer says...
(We're waiting...)
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