Q. What's green and red?
A. A very mad frog.
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Q: Why do beavers spend a fortune on the Internet?
A: They never want to log off.
What do you call it when one bull spies on another bull?
A steak-out.
What's green and red?
A very mad frog.
A panda walks into a bar, sits down and order a sandwich.
He eats the sandwich, pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter dead.
As the panda stands up to go, the bartender shouts, "Hey! Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!"
The panda yells back at the bartender, "Hey man, I'm a PANDA! Look it up!"
The bartender opens his dictionary and sees the following definition for Panda: "A tree dwelling marsupial of Asian origin, characterized by distinct black and white coloring. Eats shoots and leaves."
Why did the Pilgrims eat turkey on Thanksgiving?
They couldn't get the moose in the oven!
Vote:
What do you call an owl magician? HOOOOOdini.
What's the definition of a nervous breakdown?
A chameleon on a tartan rug.
Ozzy Osbourne bites the heads off of bats.
Chuck Norris bites the heads off of Siberian Tigers.
Vote:
You said it was a great horse and it is.
It took twenty other horses to beat him!
Little Susan was helping her mother to set the table, cause her father invited over his company managers.
When everybody sat on the table, her mother noticed that a flatware set was missing.
"Susan, why didn’t you put flatware on Mr. Marc’s seat?"
"I thought that I didn’t have to, since dad told us that Mr. Marc, eats like a pig…"