Joke #1040

Q. What's green and red? A. A very mad frog.
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has 12.04 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: animal

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A old snake goes to see his Doctor. "Doc, I need something for my eyes...can't see well these days". The Doc fixes him up with a pair of glasses and tells him to return in 2 weeks. The snake comes back in 2 weeks and tells the doctor he's very depressed. Doc says, "What's the problem...didn't the glasses help you?" "The glasses are fine doc, I just discovered I've been living with a water hose the past 2 years!"
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has 46.54 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: animal
Three mice are sitting in a bar in a pretty rough neighborhood late at night trying to impress each other about how tough they are. The first mouse slams a shot of scotch, and pounds the shot glass to the bar, turns to the second mouse and says: "When I see a mousetrap, I get on it, lie on my back, and set it off with my foot. When the bar comes down, I catch it in my teeth, and then bench press it 100 times." The second mouse orders up two shots of tequila. He grabs one in each paw, slams the shots, and pounds the glasses to the bar. He turns to the other mice and replies: "Yeah, well when I see rat poison, I collect as much as I can and take it home. In the morning, I grind it up into a powder and put it in my coffee so I get a good buzz going for the rest of the day." The first mouse and the second mouse then turn to the third mouse. The third mouse lets out a long sigh and says to the first two, "I don't have time for this bullshit. I gotta go home and f*uck the cat."
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has 78.84 % from 103 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, animal, bar
Q: How do you know Noah was a White man? A: No nigger could stay on a boat for 40 days without eating the chickens!
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has 55.09 % from 682 votes. More jokes about: animal, black people, food, racist, white people
Q: Why is a sheep better than a woman? A: A sheep doesn't care if you fuck her sister.
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has 63.35 % from 73 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, family, sex, women
Q: What do you get when 100 rabbits stand in a row and 99 take a step back? A: A receding hare line.
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has 31.97 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal
What kind of whale flies? Pilot whales.
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has 42.03 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal, fish
A passenger train is creeping along, slowly. Finally it creaks to a halt. A passenger sees a conductor walking by outside. "What's going on?" she yells out the window. "Cow on the track!" replies the conductor. Ten minutes later, the train resumes its slow pace. Within five minutes, however, it stops again. The woman sees the same conductor walk again. She leans out the window and yells, "What happened? Did we catch up with the cow again?"
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has 34.09 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal, time, travel
That tornado damage your cow barn any? Dunno. Haven't found the durn thing yet.
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has 58.75 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal, weather
First Caribou: Which bug does amazing motor cycle stunts? Second Caribou: Evel Boll Weevil.
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has 48.26 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal
A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.
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has 66.60 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: animal, love