Q. What's green and red?
A. A very mad frog.
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I just watched a squirrel bury a nut in my front yard.
I'm going to dig it up and replace it with a Cadbury egg.
That'll blow his little mind.
Q: Why do pandas like old movies?
A: Because they are black and white.
Look over there! Said the frightened skunk to his pal.
"There's a human with a gun, and he's getting closer and closer! What are we going to do?"
To which the second skink calmly replied, "Let us spray ."
How do you go about hiring a horse?
Try two pairs of stilts!
Cats took many thousands of years to domesticate humans.
How do you call a Triceratops with horns on his butt?
Tricera-bottoms.
What has antlers, pulls Father Christmas sleigh and is made of cement?
I don't know.
A reindeer.
What about the cement?
I just threw that in to make it hard.
What did the cow wear to the football game?
A Jersey.
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked a tadpole and turned it into a frog, then he kicked it again and it died.
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