A Bosnian catches a goldfish. The goldfish says: "Let me go and I will grant you one wish." The Bosnian says: "No way, I'll take you to the pawn shop – gold is gold."
When is a farmer like a magician? When he turns his cow into pasture.
How do you hire a horse? Put a brick under each hoof!
Q: What do you call a rooster who wakes you up at the same time every morning? A: An alarm cluck!
Where do cows like to ride on trains? In the cow-boose.
What job do rabbits at hotels have? Bellhop.
Why is a reindeer like a gossip? Because they are both tail bearers.
A blonde desserts her home town out of shame, and colors her hair brown. She drives past a farm and sees all the sheep. She goes up to the farmer and ask, "If I guess how many sheep you have can I have one?" The farmer nodded. She continued. "159" The farmer is surprised. "How did you know?" "Lucky guess" She grabs one and gets in her car. The farmer comes up and says, "If I can guess your real hair color can I get my dog back?"
Q. Why are fish so smart? Q. Why are fish so smart A. Because they swim in schools!
Little girl: "Why does your son say, 'Cluck, cluck, cluck?'" Mother: "Because he thinks he's a chicken." Little girl: "Why don't you tell him he's not a chicken?" Mother: "Because we need the eggs."
Chuck Norris once uppercut a horse and that is how the giraffe was created.