Chuck Norris once round house kicked a bear while on a survival trek in Siberia. That incident was known as the Tunguska event.
Chuck Norris was mauled by a bear once, then the bear woke up and apologized.
Fear of spiders is aracnaphobia, fear of tight spaces is chlaustraphobia, fear of Chuck Norris is called Logic
Giraffes were invented when Chuck Norris laid an uppercut to a horse.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris. After 5 days of extreme pain... the snake died.
An Australian guy walks into a bar with a crocodile under his arm. He asks the bartender if he will give him free drinks if he shows he can put his penis inside the crocs mouth for 15 seconds without it getting bit off. The bartender agrees. The guy opens the crocs mouth and puts his penis inside it; the croc gently closes his mouth and after 15 seconds the Australian hits him over the head with a bottle, causing the croc to open his mouth and let the guy withdraw his penis. The bartender starts serving the free drinks to the Austr alian and then tells everyone in the bar "If anyone else can do that then I will give them free drinks also". There is a pause and then a blonde woman calls out "ok, I will do it but please don't hit me so hard over my head with the bottle".
You might kill two birds with one stone, but Chuck Norris kills two stones with one bird.
Who do you think would win in a fight? Godzilla or King Kong Neither, Chuck Norris doesn't let his pets fight!
Chuck Norris can light ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At Night.
When Chuck Norris was a baby he didnt have teddy bears. He had real bears.